Alicias's perspective
My name is Alicia. Alicia Millford, daughter of the king of this seemingly peaceful kingdom, yet riddled with an uncertainty only I seem to notice. It's a quiet, persistent unease, rooted in me for a long time.
My father, always attentive despite his sternness, saw my restlessness. And though he tried to understand, our talks turned into arguments. I blamed him for the loneliness I felt, for the darkness that pressed on my heart like a thousand needles falling into an endless abyss of frustration. Truth is, I knew he'd done all he could. And still… I found relief in piling guilt on him that wasn't his. It wasn't fair, but it was the only thing that lightened my soul, even if just for a moment.
In one of those arguments, I wore him down. I saw it in his face. He sent me away, hoping I'd find peace elsewhere. Maybe he needed space, too. I didn't fully understand why I hurt so much, or why I kept shoving my resentment onto him.
That's how I ended up in the central kingdom, Calderian, on the elven continent of Vanylor. The elven king welcomed me courteously, owing favors to my father. But his daughter, Princess Esil, was another story.
We didn't argue. We didn't need to. Her hostility was clear from the start, though she never voiced it outright. I wasn't welcome to her, and I decided to confront her directly.
"You don't like me being here, do you? I'm a bother," I said, not looking up from the plate of mushroom soup, a traditional dish I barely touched.
"Really, you want to do this now, in the middle of dinner?" she replied coldly. "I thought they taught manners in your kingdom, too."
"I want answers, Esil. Did I do something to you? You've treated me with contempt since I arrived. Why? Does my presence annoy you? Or do you just enjoy being cruel?"
"Enough!" She stood abruptly, slamming the table. "You're here only because my father's settling a debt with yours. And I have no intention of being kind to someone who burdens her father with guilt he doesn't deserve."
"So that's it? That's your damn problem with me? My relationship with my father?" My voice shook, not from doubt, but from bottled-up rage. "That's my business. You've got no right to judge me."
"Oh, don't I? Then why are you here instead of back there, saying all this to his face? Oh, right, because he sent you away. How convenient. You really think you've got the right to blame him, after everything he did to protect you? Last time I saw him, he had a scar across his chest. Did you know that? No, of course not. Because you haven't even bothered to look at him."
I saw her ears, usually pale, flush red. Maybe from anger. Maybe from pain. Her blue eyes burned with the same intensity as mine. And her white hair, always neat, trembled as if reacting to an emotion too raw.
I tried to respond, but she cut me off with a firm voice.
"I understand your pain. I share it. But instead of blaming, I stood by my father. I faced him with the truth, and we stayed together. You should do the same. Accept that sometimes, things just go wrong." She turned, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Juliette, for all this shouting. I'm not hungry anymore."
She left. And in that moment, I saw in her eyes the same sorrow I'd seen in my father's: that silent pain that doesn't seek comfort, but purpose.
That's when I made a decision. I didn't tell anyone. I slipped away quietly, hitching a ride with merchant caravans crossing to Veloria. Bribing the right people wasn't hard.
I went back home.
Though I wondered: what if he didn't forgive me for returning early?
That question forced me to stop and rethink everything. I couldn't just show up in front of him without an explanation, not without preparation. So, I decided to stay hidden. The kingdom was vast, but also full of eyes and whispers. Once I returned, I began silencing every voice that might recognize me. I used the gold and jewels I carried not to buy loyalty, but to purchase silence. But money can open mouths if there's no trust. That's why I took refuge in a place only my mother and I knew—a forgotten corner, almost sacred to us.
Days passed. Then weeks. I lived among shadows and false names, until I met him.
Lucius Van D'Arques.
Reserved, calculating, hard to read. His presence didn't demand attention, but it couldn't be ignored either. He spoke little, and when he did, it was almost always to his twin sister, Isolde Equidna D'Arques. Isolde was my best friend, someone I could talk to without guarding my words. With her, I could be vulnerable without feeling weak. But whenever I got too close to Lucius, she'd react with obvious unease. She didn't need to say it: she pushed me away like I was a threat.
Still, our afternoons became routine: training, tactical debates, comfortable silences. I'd usually end up bruised, often because I couldn't dodge Lucius's speed or Isolde's brutal strength. And yet, I accepted it gratefully. Those were my only moments of true calm. Especially when I talked to him. With Lucius, for some reason, I could share words I hid from others. Maybe because he, too, knew the weight of pain. Maybe because his was deeper than mine.
But calm wasn't forever.
I knew, sooner or later, I'd have to face him: my father.
"I thought you were still in Vanylor, spending time with Esil," my father said, his voice rising from the gloom of the throne. He was surrounded by shadows. The hall was nearly pitch-black, and the faint glow of the papers he read barely lit his eyes—red and piercing.
"Sorry. I couldn't stay there any longer," I replied, lifting my gaze. Beside him stood Elias D'Arques, Lucius and Isolde's father, his personal guard. An old acquaintance. An old witness.
"Did something happen?"
"No…"
"Then what?"
"It just… felt outdated. Uncomfortable. It wasn't for me."
"Alicia. We both know Vanylor is one of the most advanced, comfortable, and safe places in the world," he cut in. His tone was stern, but his eyes… his eyes spoke of something else. Loneliness, maybe. "I just want the truth. That's all. Then I'll decide what to do with you."
I took a deep breath. I couldn't keep dodging the conversation.
"I don't get along with Princess Esil. There are too many differences between us. I didn't fit in that environment. It was unbearable to stay."
"I didn't send you to Vanylor to make friends. I lied to important people, Alicia. I told them you were there studying until you came of age. What am I supposed to say now? That my daughter decided to shirk her duties and come back on a whim?"
"I…"
Frustration started boiling inside me.
"I sent you there because you couldn't stand being near me. Because you were furious, and I… I just wanted to give you the space you asked for. I always give in to your wishes, Alicia. Not because you're a princess. Because I'm your father. Why do you punish me like this? At least… you could forgive me. Forgive me for not saving her…"
"Then you should've used magic!" I shouted, unable to hold back. "You could've done it from a distance, with healing spells! You could've saved her! But you didn't! You saved yourself, like always!"
The words came out like blades, one after another. The maids fled the room. The guards, too. Only Elias stayed. Maybe out of loyalty. Or habit.
"If you'd saved her, at least she'd still be here, with me! With us…!" I paused for a moment, seething. And he said nothing. "To hell with it!" I screamed at last. I turned, trembling with rage, and stormed out without looking back.
Not another word. Not a goodbye. Just silence. I didn't speak to him again in the days that followed. Or until the day of the entrance exam.