"Oh dear, I never thought this day would come! It's an honor to be able to accompany respected Araragi-senpai and beloved Senjougahara-senpai on their honeymoon! Oops, what a thing to say, I got carried away. It's not Senjougahara-senpai anymore - respected Araragi-senpai and beloved Araragi-senpai's honeymoon!"
"It's more complicated than I thought, husband and wife having the same surname... especially for someone as inflexible as you. Um, if Hitagi is trying to get you to accompany her by acting like a senior, can you tell me before she gets here? I'll tell her first."
After I'd been clear with my god, I descended the mountain and headed to the Kanbara residence, where we were supposed to meet, where a lively junior from high school was waiting for me at the gate.
Perhaps trying not to forget her duties as a medical student aspiring to be a sports doctor even while traveling, she is wearing a white coat over her tracksuit... hardly the sort of thing you'd wear on a honeymoon, but hey, it's not Kanbaru's honeymoon after all.
By the way, when she was a bridesmaid at her wedding, she wore a pure white tuxedo-like outfit... she was stealing the show, not the bride but the groom.
She had grown her hair out since retiring from the basketball club, but she had cut it short again. I wouldn't call it a very short cut, but it may be shorter than when I first met her. Well, even if she's still a student, medical work is harder than sports...
"Hmph. I was wondering what you were going to say, but you're testing me right away, Araragi-senpai. Attending your bachelorette party has been my dream since high school."
"So you've been planning something like that since high school..."
"I'm pleasantly surprised that you've surpassed that dream and chosen me to be your honeymoon attendant. Speaking of surprises, I knew the two of you would definitely get married, but I never expected that you'd become an FBI agent."
"You were aiming to be a doctor, I'm pretty surprised that they're doing that... well, medical school is a six-year program, right?'
'Yeah. I'm graduating the year after next, so this timing was perfect for me, even without any consideration. There couldn't be a better time to join you on your journey. It must be a blessing from God.'
'I just met that god. He's praying for clear skies in Tochigi Prefecture from afar.'
Well, I don't think the snail god has the power to control the rain, but it was a nice consolation. At least it cleared up my confusion.
"Hehehe. Only Araragi-senpai could come up with the idea of going to Senjougahara with Araragi-senpai. I'm really impressed."
"Hmm...? Was Araragi-senpai talking about Hitagi in the beginning?"
"No one else."
"Don't call me Hitagi-senpai?"
"I can't do something so presumptuous."
That's insane, being so flexible.
Whether they've become adults or reunited, he's acting like a proper junior... I like him, but that doesn't mean it won't get complicated.
"To begin with, even you and Hitagi were complicated, if you want to call it that. Senjougahara and Kanbaru...um, what were you called again?"
"We were the Valhalla duo. Don't forget. My precious memories."
"Sorry. I wouldn't say we were called that, but it was a name you came up with...it's an origin I'd rather forget. Come to think of it, is Senjougahara in Tochigi Prefecture something like Valhalla?"
It's the site of a battle between gods, so it's probably completely different, but I feel like the image is similar. At the very least, they share the mythological aspect.
"Hmm. In middle school, I knew about Valhalla, but I didn't know about Senjougahara. If I had known, we might have called ourselves the Senjougahara duo."
"I can't see your element anymore... Come to think of it, your name has the word "kami" in it, so it would have been possible for you to become the head priest of Kitashirohebi Shrine, not Hachikuji."
"I wanted to be a doctor more than I wanted to be a god."
It's amazing that you can say that so decisively.
I can't say that I wanted to be a police officer, an FBI agent, or even a university student.
"Becoming an FBI agent even though you don't want to is just a sign of how extraordinary Araragi-senpai is. But if that's the case, why did you go to Washington?"
"It was supposed to be for Hitagi, but things didn't go as planned. After they got married, they were a separated couple for a while."
"That's typical of Araragi-senpai, isn't it?"
"Which Araragi-senpai do you mean?"
"I mean Araragi-senpai."
I don't get it... It's like a word game, and you can't tell the difference by intonation.
What on earth is the world doing?
How do you call someone when two old acquaintances get married?
"Even if I had taken the surname Senjougahara, I wouldn't be able to escape this complication. What do you think about this, Kanbaru? Since my mother is Gaen-san's older sister, there's a chance that I could have become Gaen Suruga, right?"
"I wonder, my parents eloped... thinking about it now, I doubt they were even officially married."
"Is that so?"
"For the time being, we called ourselves Kanbaru Toh and Oe, but when I was in elementary school, I didn't even check the family register. However, when I think about my mother's situation, it seems like she was planning to cut ties with the Gaen family, so she may have wanted to change her surname."
"Yeah... it's true, the Gaen family was complicated."
"Honestly, it's hard to answer the question of what if I were Gaen Suruga. Even though it's Araragi-senpai asking. Ever since my parents died in a traffic accident, I wouldn't have existed without the Kanbara family."
I see.
So it's more than just a name, it's an identity... If that's what they mean by family unity, then it's hard to deny it outright.
At least, I can't deny it completely.
"I have no comment on the issue of married couples having the same or different surnames. Before that, I want to see legal arrangements in place for same-sex partnerships."
"Even after that, if we were to say that we should all have the same surname, it would be like a comedy skit."
"As I said before, I'm attached to the Kanbara surname, but on the other hand, I can understand the desire to have the same name as someone you love. In high school, I wouldn't have hesitated to give up my grandparents' names if it meant I could become Senjougahara Suruga."
Hmm.
That's one way of thinking, and it should be respected. In the first place, even if you're not married, you want to be allowed to have whatever name you want...
I wonder if Hitagi thought that way? Araragi Hitagi was more of a "it's ok if it rhymes" type of person, but...
"Even Araragi-senpai, if you were told in high school that you could become Hanekawa Koyomi, wouldn't you have become him, regardless of whether you dated or married him?"
"Yeah, that might be true... I even wanted to become Araragi Tsubasa."
"A style that uses the first name."
"I guess it's the same with cosplay in a broad sense, but there's an irresistible feeling of wanting to become one with the person or thing you love. You could call it oneness, or identification..."
Maybe it's the same with vampires - the mechanism of infection, where you become a vampire by having your blood sucked, is also hard to understand otherwise.
"--I guess you don't really like the idea of it being forced by law. It would be better if it was a system where you added the two together and divided them by two, rather than choosing one or the other."
"Like the battlefield Jougaharaharagi calendar?"
"Divided by two."
"I think the Jougaharaharagi calendar and the Jougaharagi Hitagi calendar."
I'd only said it based on vague knowledge that I'd heard there were countries like that, but it fit surprisingly well, Jougaharagi-san.
Even Hachikuji wouldn't be able to figure that out.
"If it's you and Hitagi's Ifruth, it's Valhalla Hitagi and Valhalla Suruga."
"Not bad."
"It doesn't feel like a financial investor and a sports doctor at all."
"If it's Araragi-senpai and Oshino-san, it's Arashi no Arashino no Koyomi. That's cool."
"Don't let me marry Oshino. The kanji has changed."
"Even if I marry Shinobu-chan, it'll still be Arashi no Koyomi."
"As a result of values being updated, isn't it now impossible to marry a young girl?"
Apart from marriage, what will happen to the name restrictions in that case? To put it bluntly, it's not just the supernatural phenomena, but the family system itself that binds individuals with names...
"That's why I decided to keep the name Shinobu. Even if he's adopted by Hitagi and me."
"Huh? Adopted?"
"Oh dear, I haven't told you yet. To be honest, I'm secretly planning this under the surface. I was planning to talk about it in the car. I can't keep Shinobu hiding in the shadows forever during my married life with him."
"Wait a second, Araragi-senpai. That's not right." Are you planning this in secret from Araragi-senpai?"
"If by Araragi-senpai you mean Hitagi, then yes. At first I was planning on making it a surprise, but I received a divine revelation that told me not to do that. So to keep myself awake, I'll just tell you about it in the car on the way there."
"I'd like to give you an oracle from Kanbaru-kouhai too... since you're Kanbaru. Well, I have no intention of interfering in your marital problems, but aside from the fact that it's a surprise, isn't it wrong to just talk about it in the car?"
He said it with a straight face.
Maybe it's because I'm in medical school that I feel this way, but rather than a divine revelation, it feels more like I've been diagnosed with a serious illness.
Is this what they call a second opinion?
"Eh...? Well then, how should I tell him? No surprises, no casual mentions. Do you mean I should tell him with my eyes?"
"Just bring it up and tell him something important. Like when I proposed."
"How do you know about my proposal?"
"Because I got a long phone call right after."
"You're doing the same things you did in high school, Hitagi-san."
I'm not bragging to a junior.
But maybe I'm the same way I was in high school... and, sure, now that you've pointed this out, it's not something I can just say casually.
A problem between a husband and wife.
Yes, it's a problem.
If you're talking about a sense of unity, in a sense, I'm of the same mind and soul as Shinobu, who is inseparable from me and shares my destiny with me, and I feel a reluctance to have a wedding ceremony while he's hanging in the air, isn't it actually a case of being quite lazy?
Adopting a little girl and renaming her with my name seems like a good idea with an eye to the future, but isn't it a pretty good hindsight? It's a bit late, but there's a limit to how much thinking you can do.
After all, as she's still attending the academy, she still has a student mentality somewhere... even though she's not educated. This isn't good for someone in law enforcement.
"From Hitagi's point of view, it's like bigamy in the first place. There is an inseparable blood bond between me and Shinobu. She might be resistant to adopting such a ninja."
Don't worry about it because she's a youkai, don't worry about it because she's a ghost, don't worry about it because she's your sister, don't worry about it because she's a corpse - that kind of logic only applies up until high school. Or until the Heisei era.
"No, Araragi-senpai. I can agree to it being a sister, but I can't agree to it being a corpse when I'm in high school.
"Even I'm a little concerned about it, but I'm sure there are many things to reflect on, and I don't think Araragi-senpai would have forgotten about it..."
Kanbaru kouhai, a.k.a. Kanbaru medical student, was about to continue diagnosing me, a patient, but at that moment, a loud horn rang through our ears as we were discussing something in front of the Kanbaru family gates. It was a way of showing off that would hardly be tolerated in the city, but the culprit was my wife.
A minivan driven by Araragi Hitagi arrived. As per my request, a child seat had been installed in the back seat of this car, which was both family-friendly and suitable for long trips.
For now, we have no choice but to rent it, but soon we'll have to buy a custom-made child seat. A child seat that will last a lifetime.
The side door opened with an operation from the driver's seat. Hitagi's car wasn't the type to be particular about vintage cars, so it was completely electronically controlled. At the very least, it doesn't seem like the car is possessed by a god, like the little girl corpse mentioned above.
"Hmm. Anyway, let's go, Araragi-senpai. I'm interested in glamping. I heard it's a combination of camping and glamorous."
"I don't want you to think of glamping, our honeymoon, as grammar-based, like that, Kanbaru-kun."
The horn seemed to have completely changed the clear-headed man's mind, but I still had some doubts about what my junior was trying to say, and the issue of adopting a young girl. Anyway, our honeymoon to the lost Senjougahara began like this, for two nights and three days.