"Reshi, huh. I think you might be the first Reshi I've ever met. Is it a common name on your side of the empire?"
I laughed, something about that innocent curiousity taking me off-guard. "No I don't think it is, well, at the very least I've never met another one. Your turn now."
"Seraphine."
"Tsk, what an ugly ass name. I'm calling you Sera."
"What?" She exploded in outrage.
"Sera" I repeated calmly, grinning in the darkness. "That's your new name."
"Fuck off" she shot back indignantly.
"Woah, that's pretty unladylike. You ought to rinse your mouth out."
"Well, I haven't exactly been quite ladylike recently" she muttered.
"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows. "How so?"
There was a pause of dark silence.
"I've been killing people" she continued in a smaller voice.
The smile died on my lips. "Aah."
For a moment I'd almost forgotten that we were soldiers, fighting on opposite sides of this schism of power.
I fixed a smile back on my face, even though I knew she couldn't see it.
"Well…I don't know, I'd say that's pretty ladylike if you ask me."
"Oh?"
"You know, attacking people out of nowhere, right when they don't see it coming. Sounds like most women I know." I nodded softly to myself. "Yep, pretty ladylike to me. You're good on that front at least."
I thought that was a nice way of comforting her, but instead of feeling calmer, Sera began muttering darkly under her breath. Her voice a low rumble of irritation.
Before I could help myself, I started chuckling.
The silence stretched for a moment before she spoke up again. "Hey Reshi, how old are you?"
I raised an eyebrow. "What…your trying to see if I'm legal?"
She squawked in outrage. "Wha—"
"Tut, tut. You know Sera there's plenty I'm willing to do, but that's a little far isn't it?"
I heard a deep breath as she struggled to compose herself. "Well?" She snapped.
I chortled softly, "you tell me first."
"Why?"
"I answered first last time."
There was barely a faint heartbeat of silence before she laughed again. The sound echoing through the darkness from where I assumed she was sitting. "Fifteen."
I blinked. "What?" I blurted out, shocked.
What power! To be able to take down a commander at fifteen. Why didn't I know her in the novel? She was easily as great a prodigy as the other named characters.
"What?" Her voice turned self-satisfied. "Guilty for stabbing a kid?"
I snorted, my surprise fading into derision immediately. "Hardly…I'm fourteen."
"W-what?! What the fuck did you do to end up here at fourteen."
I shrugged, though I knew she couldn't see the gesture. "Shit luck I guess."
"Shit luck" she repeated. "That's it? What really happened?"
"What's the point of telling you? We're going to kill each other come morning."
She was silent for a moment, before responding in a softer voice. "True…but if we were to tell each other. That way, after morning, at least our story will survive with the other…you know?"
I frowned. There was something odd about the way she was talking. But I couldn't grasp it.
"How about this" she continued. "I'll tell you one of my stories. Then you tell me one of yours."
"Hmmm…fine I guess" I responded after a moment's consideration. "Not like I'm going to be busy doing anything else."
"Well" she started. "I was forced to join the resistance. The leaders you see, they forcefully recruit talents. With my flying and anti—mana abilities I was swiftly recruited. My family are nobility. My father initially supported resisting but switched sides when he realised they meant to rebel. They imprisoned my family. My mom, dad, and my little brother. They'll kill them.."
"Unless you work for them" I finished for her, a solemn understanding settling into my heart. She was just as much a prisoner here as I was.
And despite that, we were still going to kill each other come dawn.
"Yeah….I don't want to fight Reshi. I don't want to kill. I didn't choose to be here." Her voice sounded almost desperate. "I don't wan-"
"I get it" I interrupted.
There was silence, and I knew Sera was trying to compose herself again.
Sometimes I kept forgetting how innocent young people were. How clean their hearts were.
It made war seem all the more crueler.
I used to be like that.
The guilt I used to feel, when I used to fight as Reshi, in my old life. It used to be so much harder to take a life.
I had been around her age when I joined the Republic's army.
Each kill had scarred me, tearing me into pieces inside. It used to be haunting, and suffocating and destructive all at the same time.
That feeling was why I had, against all recommendations, become an army medic. Effectively killing off my chances to progress.
'When did I lose that?' That feeling of crippling guilt. War still hurt, it still affected me. But it just didn't hit the same anymore.
Finally, Sera spoke up, interrupting my thoughts.
"Your turn. Don't try and lie to me."
I smiled despite myself. 'You'll never realise how truthful I'm being.'
"My turn huh. Well, you already know my name is Reshi. I joined the army young, as you already knew as well. My parents…they couldn't afford me. Not with my twin brother and younger sister. One of us was going to have to fend for ourselves."
I smiled reminiscently.
[For any of you that missed the prologue, which hurts, his name in his old life was Reshi. The family he is talking about was his family in his old life.]
"But you know my parents, they were idealistic folk. They refused to accept that. So I knew that it had to be me. There was no way I was giving up my younger sister, and my twin brother…"
I laughed, feeling a pang of grief as I remembered Joseph for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
"If you saw him you'd understand. He would've done it sure, joined the army I mean. But Joseph…well, he was always more of a bookworm. He would've gone to the army, but he'd never survive it. So that just left me. They didn't - my parents I mean, they didn't take to it kindly.
They refused to let me go.
So, I just left in the middle of the night.
Didn't say goodbye to anyone. Signed myself up, I had already been deployed for training before they realised what had happened.
I was young, technically too young. But well, you know how armies are, you can always get around that type of stuff."
"Yeah…I know" she whispered.
I nodded. "Yeah."
Armies, no matter which world I was in. They were all the same.
"I thought I could be a hero, you know. Thought I could make something of myself." I laughed bitterly, my voice sounding too loud in the deafening dark. "But, But-"
"But you didn't know what you were signing up for," she finished softly, her voice laced with the same quiet understanding I had spoken with.
Letting out a heavy sigh, I nodded. "Yeah."
It felt good to talk about it.
Usually I shied away from this topic, avoiding it even when my parents tried talking to me.
Maybe it was because Sera understood. Or…maybe because it didn't matter if I told her. One of us would be dead come morning anyway.
"I was good at killing, you know. Too good. I made some good friends. Well, one really good one anyway. Myrddin. Well, his name was Myrddin but we all called him Merlin. Who the fuck can pronounce Myrddin."
"Was that the person you were with?"
"Him? Noah? No, that's not Merlin…Merlin's dead."
Sera didn't say anything for a while, as if waiting for me to continue.
But I didn't say anything more. That demon I'd face another day.
After another moment's pause, she finally spoke up again. "Well you know what Arthur. If I manage to survive this. I'll visit your family, I'll help them out if I can, after the war of course" she decided, her tone firm and full of a naïve conviction.
I was silent for a moment, then exploded into laughter, the tension in the air melting away.
How was I going to explain to her that my family was dead? Their graves in another world. And that in this life I was the son of the Duke.
"What?" She asked, slightly defensive.
I smiled. "Thank you Sera. If I survive this…I'll see if I can rescue that family of yours."
We both laughed at that. The promises we made seemed foolish.
One of us was going to die by the end of this.
Yet, I couldn't help but feel slightly more secure, even if she could never do it.
And… I hoped that she felt the same way even though the chances were I'd never see her family until the war was over. If in fact they were still alive and hadn't been secretly executed.
We fell silent again.
Not a cold, awkward, tense silence. It was warm and more companionable.
Something that shouldn't have existed in a ditch, in the middle of the battlefield, where mages on the other side were waiting to blast us into smithereens the second we got out of here.
"Hey, Sera."
"Yes?"
"For what it's worth, you're insanely strong." I immediately regretted saying it, her smugness was practically palpable.
"Do you have magic?" she asked after a pause.
"Nope. Haven't undergone my trial yet."
"What?!" she shrieked. "You stabbed me, and you don't even have magic?"
"Yup," I replied, slightly smug.
She laughed again, it was almost self—depreciative. "You know Reshi, I wished we met under different circumstances. I bet we would've been good friends."
I snorted. "Go to sleep, you're talking nonsense."
"Goodnight, Reshi."
"Night."
I turned, trying to somehow find a comfortable position.
"Hey Reshi?"
"What?"
"Make sure to keep your promise okay?"
"Why ar-"
"Okay?" She interrupted.
"….okay?"
. ...
I awoke with a jolt. The ground was rumbling, the sound of thousands footsteps.
'The battle..its starting!'
Scrambling to my feet, I spun trying to find Sera.
I half expected to see an arrow to come flying right at me.
But…no. There was nothing.
My stomach dropped, and for a moment I felt unsteady.
Sera was there, on the floor.
Her pristine armour was shattered where I had stabbed her…her corpse resting against the crater wall.
Shard of a splintered blade jutted grotesquely from a dozen places around her stomach, its edge crusted with dirt and dried blood.
The remains of my blade.
Walking forward, I knelt by her corpse, shocked.
"No" I whispered.
This wasn't how it was meant to be. We were meant to fight for it, fairly. It wasn't meant to be like this.
Shaking fingers reached out for a pulse. "Oy! Wake up! What happened to your family huh?"
There was nothing.
Her purple eyes stared blankly past me, unblinkingly staring at a sky I knew she'd never seen. Her white hair was so striking now, how did I never notice it during the night. It seemed carved from light, tauntingly framing her face, giving her a cruel mockery of life.
As if she was only merely sleeping, and not dead.
"You fool" I growled. "You childish, childish fool! Why didn't you use the healing potion on yourself?"
But even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were pointless. There was no way in hell a mid-grade healing potion could save those injuries.
The blade had splintered inside of her stomach, tearing through half a dozen vital organs. Not to even mention the dagger wounds.
She must've forcefully used some type of magic to sustain herself for as long as she did.
Such a pointless thing, to try and delay inevitable death. So childish. But that's what she had been.
Now I understood the reason she had given me the potion, the reason she wanted to exchange stories.
Sera had been afraid to die alone, like a kid not wanting to go to sleep alone in the dark. She wanted company as she fell into her final rest.
Grief coiled around my heart… my vision blurring. Grief that was far too heavy for someone I had only spoken to once.
But Sera had just not been anyone.
In a strange way, she knew me better than anyone else on the planet.
She knew my real name. My true name. She knew my real past, my real story. Not Arthur Gravewalker.
Everyone knew the story of Arthur Gravewalker.
Only she knew Reshi.
I reached for her bow, placing the weapon gently across her body. Gently, I slid her eyelids shut.
That was all the respect I could give her.
"I'll keep my promise…if I can" I murmured softly,my voice barely audible over the growing sound of charging soldiers.
For a moment, I just stood there blankly.
Then, with a heavy sigh, I tucked the feelings away. 'I'll deal with them later.'
Slowly, I climbed out the crater, the chaos of the battle slamming into me. I hadn't even realised the fighting had begun.
Soldiers clashed in a storm of steel and screams, the air becoming heavy again with acrid scent blood, sweat and smoke.
And yet…this time, I could help but notice the expressions on the faces of the rebel soldiers.
They were so human.
Crouching, I stalked silently through the chaos, picking up a dagger stuck in a corpse's body. A rebel moved in front of me, back turned as he scanned for an opponent.
In one fluid motion I grabbed him, stabbing his neck with rapid brutality. He tried to scream, but all that came out was a choking, gurgling sound as he drowned in his blood.
THUMP
He dropped to the floor, still spasming slightly.
"I'm sorry" I murmured as I took his spear.
A spear, I had never wielded a spear before. But, as soon as I held it, there was something about it that just felt…right.
It's weight, balance, all of it resonated with me in a way the sword never had.
Hefting the weapon, I threw myself into the fight, spear spinning in my hands in a cold blur of motion.
I deflected a strike, whipping the butt of the spear across the soldier's head. He stumbled backwards. Surging forward, I thrust the spear through a gap in his armour.
I used the spear like a quarterstaff, its reach providing me an advantage against swords. The exhilaration was fleeting however.
Each murder I committed. Every single one felt heavier than it should've. Each time I just saw Sera's lifeless face when I struck them down.
And despite my efforts, I would hear her bitter laughter instead of the gurgling cries of dying men.
'I wonder how many I've killed that were as bitter as her?'
Snarling, I pressed on, trying to push away the thoughts. Now wasn't the time for doubt. It didn' matter how bitter they were, their swords were just as sharp.
The spear became the spokesperson for my grief and confusion, turning into an extension of myself as I carved through with brutal efficiency.
It felt easy to adapt the sword forms I learnt into spear forms.
'It shouldn't be this easy. Swords and spears are two completely different things.'
And yet it was.
So I took advantage. Drowning my guilt in corpses and exhaustion. After what felt like decades, I heard the small burst of the horn, signifying the first rotation.
My breath was ragged, my arms like lead, cracked armour soak in blood. Some my own, most of it not.
"Arthur?"
I kept stumbling forward, I needed to get some water.
"Arthur!"
'Huh? Is someone calling me?'
Turning I saw Noah walking towards me, green eyes widening in disbelief.
"You're alive? How?"
I gave him a weary smile, "Got anything to eat and drink?"
We sat down somewhere, I was more focused on tearing through the bread and water Noah had given me.
Noah laughed as he saw me eat, as if me eating confirmed I was really alive. "Good, good" he chuckled, "I still get to kill you myself."
I snorted, but didn't stop eating. "How's the shoulder" I asked with a full mouth.
"Mostly healed, still can't get mana through it properly though, after effects of mana burst."
He stayed silent after that, obviously waiting for me to finally tell him about how I knew about his skill. Mana burst was not a normal technique to unlock during the trials. Most only unlocked one mana technique, and usually that was Mana Surge.
Few unlocked two like Noah. If he was smart, he'd keep it as a hidden card.
Sighing heavily, I licked the breadcrumbs of my fingers. 'I did promise I'd tell him how I knew, only I didn't think the truth would actually work.'
"Later Noah, at least let me get through this day first."
He considered for a moment, then nodded. "Fine. But tell me, did you at least manage to kill the flying archer then?"
I froze for a moment. "Y-Yeah, she's dead."
Noah let out a long breath, "Fuck's sake Arthur, you don't know how to die."
I bit back a smirk. 'You don't know the half of it.'
The rest of the day passed in a blur of revolting battle and sickening murder.
When night fell, I hobbled to my bed as quickly as I could.
I wanted to go to sleep so badly. There I could run away from this battle, away from the guilt and grief. Even if it was only for a moment.
I clutched my spear with me as I slept, holding it close as if it was some sort of talisman.