Chapter 27: Princess Problems and Taxable Heroism
You ever have one of those days where you win a massive sky battle in a floating palace, seal away some criminals with magical blood-burning tattoos, and then realize the townspeople might hate you more than the bad guys?
Yeah. That was my Tuesday.
We were standing in what used to be the pirates' throne room—gold floors, stupid columns, unnecessary chandeliers—basically a room that screamed "I overcompensate with interior design." Gaara's sand still held the entire floating palace up like it was some kind of desert-themed cloud palace. Honestly, I think even he was getting tired of the architectural flex at this point.
But me? I had work to do.
I rolled up my sleeves, knelt next to Senor Pink (still unconscious, drooling slightly into a wet hand towel), and started drawing out my Villain Seal.
Technically it was a modification of the Blood Prison Seal—super dangerous, chakra-draining, probably a war crime if we were in polite society. But it worked. It turned villains into painful regret generators. Every evil thought? Boiling blood. Every hostile impulse? Instant migraine. You couldn't even think about kicking a puppy without collapsing in agony.
Call it my justice-with-a-side-of-trauma method.
Sakura hovered behind me, arms crossed. "Are we really using that seal again?"
"Worked on the pirates in Whiskey Peak," I said, biting my thumb and painting symbols across Senor Pink's chest. "They're gardening now. The island literally renamed itself to Sunshine Peak."
"I still think the flowers that scream apologies at sunrise are overkill."
"Those were Lee's idea."
"Of course they were."
Once the seal was done, it shimmered red, like a warning sign made of chakra. I moved over to Viola next. She was awake, sitting cross-legged with her arms resting on her knees, watching me with this mix of fear, guilt, and "I'm still royalty, don't touch my hair."
"You sure you want this?" I asked.
Viola nodded slowly. "If this is the price for what I did... then yes."
Hinata knelt beside her and took her hand. "You're doing the right thing."
The seal went on smoothly. No resistance. No tricks. No last-minute betrayal. That was a nice change. I'd half-expected an evil monologue and maybe a smoke bomb.
Once I finished, I sat back, wiped my hands on my pants (sorry, Sakura), and looked around at the crew. Kakashi was reading. Shikamaru was muttering about probabilities. Tenten was polishing weapons like she was prepping for a fashion show featuring blades. Gaara's sand held everything steady, because of course it did. And Kiba was... eating a raw steak? Where did he even get that?
Anyway. We were ready.
Time to talk royalty.
We all headed to the next room where Princess Vivi was waiting. She stood near the edge of a raised dais, chin high, arms elegantly folded. She had that calm, noble vibe going on, but her eyes were tired. Like she hadn't slept since the world decided to fall apart. I respected that. Queens don't nap, I guess.
"Princess," I said, giving a small bow because I do have manners—sometimes.
She smiled, just a little. "Naruto. Everyone. Thank you... for protecting Alabasta."
"You're welcome," Tenten said, spinning a kunai like she was trying to impress someone. "We also saved a floating palace. Just saying."
Vivi stepped down, walking toward us, her composure cracking just a little as she looked over our group. "Is it... truly over?"
I looked back at the sealed pirates behind us. "This battle? Yeah. But the war's just getting started."
She nodded solemnly, and I saw the tension slip from her shoulders. But then, her voice lowered, and the royal mask cracked.
"My father is still below... in the dungeons. They wouldn't let me near him."
"We'll get him," I said before anyone else could. "I promise."
She met my gaze. No tears, no royal drama. Just belief. That's the weird thing about saving people—you start wanting to be worthy of the look they give you after.
Kakashi stepped forward, snapping his book shut. "We need to land this palace soon. But... be ready. The people down there may not cheer for us."
"They... still trust the pirates?" Sakura asked.
Vivi hesitated. "They trusted who they thought the pirates were. Doflamingo controlled the image. The smiles, the food... the false peace. And now we've ripped it away."
"Great," I muttered. "We win, and we get mobbed."
----------------------
If there's one thing I've learned from saving kingdoms, it's this:
You rescue a floating palace, punch some pirates into repentance, and suddenly everyone wants you to solve their entire political system.
That was the vibe in the throne room when Princess Vivi looked at us like we were the answer to a prayer she hadn't even said out loud. She had this hopeful-glazed-over look like "Wow, I didn't expect this to work out, now what do I do with my life?"
I get it. Her kingdom had been saved by pirates once, and now it was being saved by ninjas. So yeah, trust issues probably came with the royal territory.
Vivi clutched her hands together like she was trying not to cry. "You've all done so much. More than I could've asked for."
Sakura nudged me with her elbow. "Go on, say something inspiring."
"No pressure," Hinata whispered.
"Or funny," Tenten said. "But maybe not your usual ramen jokes. Royalty doesn't always get sarcasm."
I cleared my throat and did my best to look majestic and wise. (I probably looked like a confused pigeon.)
"Look, Princess," I said, "we can see what's on your mind."
She blinked. "You can?"
"Yeah. You're wondering how to keep your kingdom safe without us around. You want balance. Strength. Maybe even a little ninja magic in the long run. Lucky for you, we've got just the solution."
She straightened, curious. "You do?"
"Oh yeah. Behold—your brand-new royal security detail."
I motioned dramatically to the back of the room where Senor Pink was now standing stiffly in a red tuxedo (courtesy of Kurenai's Genjutsu Fashion Jutsu), looking like a grumpy penguin with regrets. Gladius was next to him, his hair less weaponized than usual. Both wore glowing red seals on their necks like magical parole badges.
"These guys?" I said. "Former pirates. Now your repentant bodyguards. They so much as think about betraying you, and bam! Boiling blood and chakra migraines. Instant good behavior."
Viola, who was standing beside Vivi, raised an eyebrow. "That's... barbaric."
"But effective," Shikamaru chimed in. "And cost-efficient."
"And there's more!" I added like a salesman who forgot the punchline. "Since Gaara has apparently decided your palace is 'peaceful and efficient for meditation,' he's agreed to lend you a Sand Guardian."
Right on cue, Gaara stepped forward, silent as usual, and raised a hand. From the marble floor, a massive figure formed—seven feet tall, made of solid sand and chakra, with glowing eyes and a stoic expression that screamed "try me."
Vivi gasped. "You're... giving us this?"
"On loan," I said quickly, raising a finger. "You know, just an annual maintenance fee. Small tax. Friendly ninja contract stuff."
She frowned. "Tax?"
"Don't look at me like that," I said, throwing up my hands. "We represent the Hidden Leaf. You think Kakashi-sensei's gonna let us give out premium ninja protection like it's free Wi-Fi? We're not the Charity Clan!"
Kiba piped up with a grin, "Besides, it's not really about the money. It's about making sure you don't call us every time a pickpocket sneezes."
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Ignore them. We're just making sure you've got enough strength to hold your own when we leave."
Vivi looked between us all, then at the newly reformed pirates, the silent Sand Guardian, and finally her friend Viola, who nodded with a small smile.
"I... I understand now," she said. "Crocodile was stopped by pirates. Doflamingo by ninja. But Alabasta can't rely on outsiders forever."
"That's the spirit," I said, giving her a thumbs-up. "Next time someone tries to drop a palace on your kingdom, you'll be the one sending them flying."
She laughed—a real one. Light and full of something that hadn't existed in Alabasta for a long time.
Hope.
--------------------
I've seen a lot of wild things since becoming a ninja—giant snakes, emo sandboys with homicidal hobbies, and ramen shortages (the real horror). But nothing—and I mean nothing—prepared me for watching a whole kingdom collectively realize they'd been cheering for the wrong team.
Spoiler: It was awkward.
Vivi stood tall on the palace balcony, her fancy royal hair swaying in the desert breeze like it was auditioning for a shampoo commercial. Below, a crowd of thousands had gathered, muttering and glancing up like someone had just parked a flying castle in their town square.
Oh wait, we had.
Behind us, Senor Pink and Gladius stood in full repentance-mode, arms crossed and trying to look less like recently brainwashed henchmen. Gaara's Sand Guardian loomed silently, glowing eyes scanning the crowd like a paranoid bouncer. And me? I was standing next to the world's cleanest king, freshly dungeon-broken-out by none other than Kakashi-sensei.
"I swear he teleported," I muttered.
"Don't be silly," Sakura said. "He just used Shadow Clone subversion, terrain reading, chakra masking, smoke decoys, and silent kill techniques."
"…So teleporting?"
Hinata giggled softly.
Flashback Time:
While Vivi and I were busy selling her on a post-pirate security plan, Kakashi had just casually vanished—like poof, ninja mist, gone. Next thing we knew, he was walking back into the throne room with King Cobra—alive, healthy-ish, and extremely confused.
"I had a weird dream I was chained underground," the king mumbled.
"Nope. That was real," Kakashi said, flipping a page of Make-Out Tactics without even looking up. "Also, you're welcome."
Now the palace was back on the ground—thanks to Gaara's sand telekinesis—which is a fancy way of saying he dropped an entire building from the sky and nobody died. And it was time for the Royals to win back their people.
Vivi stepped forward and glanced at me. "Can they hear me?"
"Oh, they'll hear you," I said, grinning.
I clasped my hands and spun my chakra, building it into my lungs. Wind Release: Amplifying Gale—aka Nature's Megaphone Jutsu.
The air shimmered, and suddenly Vivi's voice boomed across the city like a goddess had taken over a PA system.
"My people of Alabasta," she began, voice trembling with royal energy. "You have seen this kingdom saved before by those outside our borders. But today I ask you to believe in yourselves once more."
Murmurs in the crowd. Some hopeful, some skeptical.
"You were tricked—again. Doflamingo's crew offered safety at a cost. They offered power in exchange for your souls. But we say no more."
Gasps. Cheers. One old guy in the back fainted. I swear I didn't do it.
"From now on, we protect our kingdom ourselves. With our own strength—and with the allies who believe in justice."
She turned and motioned to us. "These ninja came not for gold or glory, but to stop evil. And yes, they've offered us more—guardians, strength, wisdom—but we must walk this path ourselves."
The king stepped forward, hands raised. "If you will have me back… I swear to serve you again. Not as a ruler above you, but a father among you."
Okay, not gonna lie, that line hit harder than Sasuke's betrayal. The people went nuts. Clapping, cheering, crying. Someone threw a baby in the air like it was The Lion King.
Back on the balcony, Tenten nudged me. "Think they'll name a holiday after us?"
"They better," I said. "At least a ramen festival."
Kiba barked a laugh. "You'd settle for a ramen cart named after you."
I grinned. "You're not wrong."
As the crowd roared and Vivi wiped a tear from her eye, I knew one thing for sure.
We'd done something more than just defeat villains.
We'd given a kingdom its voice back.
------------------
If I had to describe the day in one word, it would be: chaotic.
But, like, the organized kind of chaos—where everyone suddenly remembers they have jobs, goals, and a kingdom to rebuild. The King was back on his throne, barking orders with the enthusiasm of a dad trying to reassemble IKEA furniture with zero instructions and a war to win.
And us? Well, the ninja crew scattered like well-dressed, extremely attractive ants.
Kakashi and Sakura took on medical support and city-wide damage control. Gaara went full Desert Foreman and started reinforcing the palace with compressed sandstone. Tenten was negotiating with the now "rehabilitated" pirates about what counted as guard duty versus community service.
And me?
Oh, I was casually rewriting the rules of space-time. You know, the usual.
I was crouched on the palace roof, etching kanji into a chalk seal circle the size of a swimming pool. My fingers flew across the surface as my chakra spiraled into the stone, weaving through the patterns like thread through fabric. This was high-tier spatial fuinjutsu—my latest upgrade.
The Capital Marker Seal.
It meant we could teleport here anytime. Instant ramen delivery jutsu. Emergency reinforcement jutsu. Vacation jutsu. All wrapped into one neat little scroll.
I was very proud of it.
Which is why I almost didn't notice the princess sneaking up behind me.
"Working hard, Lord Naruto?" Vivi's voice was honey over silk.
Oh boy.
I turned my head and tried not to panic. Or blush. "Uh, yeah. Just sealing some spacetime here. No biggie."
She crouched beside me, far too close for casual. Her royal perfume—something floral and expensive—nearly fried my chakra network.
"I wanted to thank you. Not just for saving us, but for giving us a path forward. You didn't just fight—you changed everything."
I scratched my cheek and grinned awkwardly. "Teamwork makes the dream work."
"You're very humble," she said, eyes sparkling like a genjutsu trap. "And powerful. Handsome, too."
Okay now I knew this was suspicious.
"You're not trying to seduce me into being Alabasta's live-in bodyguard, right?" I asked, half-joking.
She gave the world's most not-denying-it smile.
"I'm just saying... the people love you. A statue of you holding a ramen bowl in the main plaza would inspire generations."
I blinked. "Statue?"
"With rotating ramen flavors. And... a yearly ramen festival in your honor."
My jaw nearly hit the roof tiles.
She leaned in. "Just imagine it. Naruto Uzumaki: Savior of Alabasta, Hero of Sunshine Peak, Patron Saint of Noodles."
This was getting dangerously effective.
Look, I've been through mind-control genjutsu, near-death tailed beast experiences, and more love confessions than I can emotionally process. But this? This was real temptation.
Still… I wasn't gonna be manipulated. Not even by a gorgeous, blue-haired princess with eyes like ocean secrets and promises of miso-flavored immortality.
I gave her a grin. "Nice try, Princess. You almost got me."
"Almost?" she pouted.
I activated the seal and stood up, dusting my hands dramatically. "I go where I'm needed. And right now, the universe needs me ramen-fueled and unattached."
Vivi sighed, laughing. "I'll keep working on the statue design."
"You do that."
As I walked off, seal complete and pride intact, I realized something.
Politics, romance, kingdom-saving… yeah, this world was getting complicated.
But I was Naruto Uzumaki.
And no matter how many beautiful princesses or ramen-based bribes came my way…
I was still a ninja.
(With slightly flexible morals when it came to free food.)