When Venus awoke, Julian looked as though he had not rested at all. His hair was disheveled, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes with his palms. She felt a strange awkwardness about the previous night. She had experienced a torrent of emotions, culminating in a deep sadness that he could not even feign affection for a single night.
"Good morrow," he said, his voice raspy with sleep.
"Good morrow." She attempted to suppress her emotions before they overwhelmed her. Before he could speak further, she raised a hand. "Do not inquire if I wish to discuss last night, for the answer is no. I never wish to speak of it, so please, keep your thoughts to yourself."
He nodded and left the tent without a word.
She had wanted to tell him countless times the previous night how she felt.
The words had almost escaped her lips when he was touching her , and then again within the covers. Tears had welled in her eyes because she knew that if she revealed the truth, he would flee, both physically and emotionally, as swiftly as possible.
He had desired a physical connection without consequence or commitment, and that was what she had offered. Deep down, she had foolishly hoped that he would be overcome with emotion and confess an enduring affection for her. What a naive fool she had been. She was the one so overwhelmed that she could not stem the flow of tears down her cheeks.
The previous night had been nothing more than her foolish fantasy shattered by harsh reality.
She hugged her knees to her chest, silently urging herself not to weep, telling herself that in time, the ache in her heart would lessen.
She gathered her belongings and went outside to cleanse herself. It was difficult to maintain her composure, so she donned her dark spectacles.
Julian was nowhere in sight. When she emerged from the bathing area, he had already packed the vehicle and was seated in the driver's seat.
They drove past Becky and the group of boys, who were seated at their folding table engaged in a game of strategy tiles, without uttering a word. She offered them a brief wave, which they returned. It was bittersweet to witness a couple who had defied expectations and remained together for so long. Her own parents had failed, her sister and her bondmate had failed… and Julian and she could not even last a single night.
She gazed out the window until Julian pulled into a roadside establishment and inquired about her breakfast preference.
"I desire nothing," she said, without looking at him.
"You must take breakfast."
She pushed her spectacles higher on her nose. "I have no appetite."
He ordered two portions of citrus juice and two steamed bread and egg combinations, then parked the vehicle. "Here," he said, placing one of the wrapped items on her lap. "Eat."
She tossed it back at him and stepped out of the vehicle.
"Venus!" Julian called after her.
She walked down the path, ignoring him.
"Venus!"
He caught up to her. Her dark spectacles could not conceal the tears streaming down her face.
"What do you wish me to say?" He blocked her path, a tense, frustrated expression on his face as he raked his fingers through his hair.
"Forgive me that we share an undeniable passion and desire for each other.
Forgive me that you yearn for a steadfast presence in your life.
Forgive me that I could not simply engage in a fleeting encounter when I sensed your distress.
Forgive me that I am not the male you envision."
"I do not desire your apologies!" She wiped away her tears. She yearned for him to tell her that she held significance for him. But the words remained trapped in her throat. She was a coward, afraid of his response if she revealed her true feelings. "And I do not desire a paltry steamed bun as a consolation."
"The steamed bun was not a peace offering, Venus," Julian argued, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It was sustenance for the journey. I was attempting to restore a semblance of normalcy."
"Normalcy? My existence is far from normal, Julian. But if you desire me to feign it, then very well. I am adept at deception." She placed her hand over her heart. "My deepest gratitude for the steamed bun," she said in a falsely sweet tone. "I shall consume it immediately so you can believe all is as it should be."
She turned sharply and walked back to the vehicle. She had nowhere else to go and no means of escape, so she might as well accept the reality of being bound to Julian until they reached the medical camp.
After they ate in strained silence, Venus having finished the bun, she held up the empty wrapping. "Satisfied now?"
"Not in the slightest," he replied stoically.
He drove her to an open training ground when she expressed her need to continue her medical practice. She stretched and practiced her diagnostic touches on a training dummy while Julian leaned against the vehicle, his fingers flying across his communication device.
He offered no assistance. Every so often, his gaze flickered towards her, but for the most part, he seemed indifferent to her studies. His attention remained fixed on the device until she announced she was ready to depart.
Venus took the wheel for a portion of the journey while Julian rested. When they switched back, she leaned her head against the cool glass and succumbed to sleep.
"Venus," Julian's deep voice roused her. "We have arrived."
She blinked, her vision blurred with sleep. Julian gently nudged her again. She blinked a few more times, focusing on the unsettlingly beautiful blue eyes that looked down at her. It felt unfair that he possessed such eyes, for they held a disarming quality that could easily sway others, sway her.
Julian pulled up to the grand entrance of the Elite mountain Healer Academy. Her heart quickened. This was it, the culmination of her aspirations. Esteemed practitioners would be present, assessing the skills of promising young healers for the future of their respective packs.
She glanced around and realized she was the only female present.
A gathering of parents and young aspirants populated the grounds. Some stood in the registration queue, while others conversed and laughed as if they were long-acquainted.
Julian who was donned a simple cap and dark spectacles, reminded her of a reclusive artist as he attempted to remain unnoticed.
He helped her with her luggage. "Will you be alright?"
She avoided his gaze. "I will manage."
"Listen, I would remain until you were settled, but…" He glanced at the groups of young healers, then pulled the cap further down his face. "I am going to visit my grandmother's estate and inquire about her well-being."
"That is acceptable." She took her bags from his grasp. "I suppose I will see you in a week's time."
He let out a soft sigh. "I suppose so."
It did not escape her notice that he had not touched her since they were within the tent. Their usual banter was absent; they were simply… coexisting. He offered a small, fleeting smile.
"Farewell, Julian."
"Farewell."