Getting sleep that night was anything but restful. I couldn't stop thinking about CC crying and why Kenny left her.
How am I supposed to comfort and be there for her without seeming like a creepy scavenger taking advantage of her moment of vulnerability?
The next morning stepping into the courtyard, that January weather was still very brisk. The Island of Misfits bare once again.
Finally experiencing what everyone did during these cold mornings before class started, I made my way to the library.
It was a relief to see a group of students (misfits included) hanging out at the stairway instead of a painfully heartbreaking scene. I went on through the glass doors and into the library to find the rest of the crowd.
The guys were already engaged in their continuing campaign of DND. Because of my absence all last semester, they were too far into it to have a new character jump in. All I could really do is sit there as a spectator.
It's still fun to listen to all the banter and story telling, but I'd rather be engaged and a part of it.
While sitting there amongst the chaos going on, I noticed CC was still nowhere to be seen. Has she not arrived to school yet or did she move on to another area to hang out before school?
I couldn't just sit there anymore, I had to find something to do for the sake of my sanity. I moved over to the open table next to them so I can work on the commission for Manny.
Being in the Library, I actually had somewhat privacy to work on such a piece without having other eyes constantly peering over to see what I was up to. I knew it was very lewd piece and would probably make me seem bit perverted for drawing it, but that was part of the deal.
"That's some interesting homework you got there."
I had quickly fumbled to cover any inappropriate parts from showing by. My cheeks were burning from embarrassment and instead completely shut the book. "CC....Hi." I laughed nervously.
There was a look of judgment in CC's eyes. How much did she see?
CC joined me at my table. "Why aren't you with the others having fun?"
"Oh. That." I let out a deep sigh. "It's too late into that campaign. No biggie. There will be others."
"Bummer." CCs face shifted. "So now you're over here drawing naughty stuff? Shame."
"No..I ..but ..."I was fumbling for words and trying to explain myself, but I was caught red handed."Yeah."
She giggled. "God. I'm only teasing you. But I do think it's very degrading."
My head hung low. "I know. It's just part of a deal I made for a tennis racquet."
She raised one eyebrow high. "That doesn't make it any better."
"Well...That's to the discretion of my client." I straightened up and acted like a well established professional. "Strictly confidential."
"Mhmm." She let her head rest on her hand and leaned forward to push for more information. "So... just how many have you made?"
I casually patted my sketchbook. "Just one. We'll see how that goes."
"I see." She slowly blinked and tapped her fingers. "What else have you been drawing in there."
I figured I didn't really have anything to hide. Many classmates already asked to see my drawings and I proudly let them see my book. I slid it over to her. "See for yourself."
CC started with the latest piece which I was working on when she walked in.
She flipped through the pages seeing many figure pose practices, fan art, some very questionable drawings, original concepts and characters, comic ideas and scraps of doodles. A few definite eye rolls.
"Whoa!-
She showed me the doodle pages from summer school.
"You still have these." She giggled looking at all of them. "Spike Lee SquarePants!"
We burst into giggles.
"Of course. I've pretty much kept every drawing I've done since I started high school."
CC continued to flip through, then suddenly gasped. Her expression softened and she stroke her fingers slowly across that page. "Oh my God. I remember when I asked you to do this?" She pulled out a page from it's protective sleeve. It was a drawing of her and Kenny in that cutesy Precious Moments style.
"It was a cute idea. It's yours if you want it."I knew in my heart this was something that's sentimental and special to her.
There was a shimmer of happiness behind those saddened eyes. I could tell she still aches for Kenny. The soft tone in her voice said it more than anything else.
"Really. Thank you...Thank you." CC clutched it close to her chest.
I knew then that she was not ready to let go of him. I don't blame her for doing so.
She didn't know that I already knew the truth about the break-up from Kenny.
And I wasn't going to tell her.
At least not yet.
The group started to put away all their campaign materials which made me look at the time. "Oh shit. Bell's about to ring."
CC put the drawing into one of the books in her bag.
"Are you going to be here during lunch?"
I slung my backpack over my shoulder and shrugged. "I think so."
"Cool. See you then." She picked up her backpack and Lunchbox purse before giving me a little wave as we parted ways.
I wasn't certain what everyone else was doing, but this was another opportunity I just couldn't refuse.
An opportunity to be there for her.
-----------+
During the classes, all I was able to think of was how good it was to be talking to CC once more.
From our interaction this morning, CC did seem in better spirits as compared to yesterday, or at least she's better at hiding her pain.
Hopefully I can keep up the charade for our sake.
Entering the library after a quick and somewhat disappointing meal as usual, I was surprised to find Bear. And with him-Betty.
"There you go Bear." I whispered to myself in approval. It was good to see Bear at least engaging with his crush and making some kind of move instead of being withdrawn.
Those 2 did look cute together
"Hey Alfie." Bear waved over to me.
"Hi!" I waved back and approached them in hopes I didn't interrupt anything.
Betty looked at me a little bewildered. "Wow. You 2 really do look like you can be brothers."
"Told you." Bear chuckled.
I crossed my arms. "What else you tell her?"
"That's about it." Bear then gestured. "Betty. This is Alfie. Alfie, Betty."
I copied Bears gesturing. "Betty, that's Bear."
We all had a little laugh until someone barked behind me
"SHHH. Quiet in the Library."
After being suddenly startled, hand on my chest, I turned around and was surprised to see CC giggling.
"Oh my God. You should have seen the way you jumped."
CC then pulled up a chair and joined in.
"I see you met my friend Betty."
I figured by then that I wasn't interrupting anything and joined the rest. "I did. I take it you're a military kid?"
"What gave that away?" Betty said with a mock surprise.
Bear laughed. "We stick out like sore thumbs."
"Well, considering we're in a high school where 90 percent is Hispanic, you're either from military or one of the few locals." I shrugged. "Wild guess. So where did you come from."
"I'm from Kansas." She smirked.
"Kansas!"I exclaimed
"We're not in Kansas anymore."CC stated with her best Dorothy impression.
Betty scoffed. "Why does everyone do that?"
CC giggled.
"What exactly is there to do in Kansas." Bear questioned.
Betty slowly blinked and thought for a moment. She then answered very slowly. "Umm...We...have cows?"
CC snorted and started laughing.
"Shhhh! If you're going to be in here hanging out, try to keep the noise down." The librarian barked. Hers eyes now blazing.
I point at CC as the culprit as she was the one laughing the loudest.
The librarian shot us a warning glance and started to march off.
Once she was outside of view, CC quickly slapped my hand into the table with a
All of us tried to hold in our laughter.
"Cows huh." I crossed my arms and leaned back into my seat. "Is it very rural over there?"
Betty nodded. "Where I live...Pretty much."
"Do people actually go cow tipping?" Bear laughed.
CC grimaced. "That's just mean."
"Sadly." Betty's face shifted. "I've known a few from back home that tried. Farmer chased them off with a shotgun"
My jaw dropped. "Seriously? Were they stupid?"
She nodded. "Pretty much. When there isn't much to do, people do stupid things
That reminded me of all the stupid things I've already done out of pure boredom. I've never heard a quote so true until then.
"Now I'm curious. What are your thoughts about El Paso?" I asked Betty.
"It's scary...but exciting. This place is huge. Different atmosphere too. Where I'm from, everyone knows everyone and their business."
"Ew. That's kinda creepy." I shivered.
"I like it here. Chances of running into people from school outside of school are slim." CC claimed proudly.
"Oooh." I pointed to Betty. "You definitely need to pick up some Spanish here. Or at least the bad words"
"Im taking French now. Tho I've already learned 'Pinchi Cabron' (fucking bastard). Betty said. "There's also 'pinchi guera' (fucking white girl). Apparently it's a good indication someone is talking shit about me."
"My favorite Spanish word is "Al-bon-di-ga"." CC giggled.
Betty looked puzzled. "What's that mean?
I giggled. "It's a meatball."
"Donde estan mis Albondigas?" CC said in a tone somewhat similar to Beavis from Beavis and Butthead. She continued to say that to anyone that passed by.
I shook my head and giggled.
"My favorite word in French right now is quatorze (14). Betty said. "Sounds like 'Cat Whores'."
"There's plenty of them in anime." Bear really started to crack up.
"Oh I know. I've seen Alfie's drawings." CC smirked and playfully prodded at my shoulder.
My face lit up like a furnace.
I covered it with both hands to hide the blushing from the rest.
Everyone burst out into laughter.
As embarrassing as it was, my body was shaking from the laughter I was having as well.
"God! we're so fuckin' random. How the hell did we go from talking about Kansas to Cat whores?"
That was our final straw.
The librarian came back to the study area. Her face about as red as mine. "Ok seriously. OUT!"
We grabbed our things and rushed out, still giggling.
I'd never been kicked out of the library before.
But seeing CC laugh like that—really laugh—it made it all worth it.
If this is what it took to help her heal, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.