Chapter 42: Martial arts can beat up ghosts
Because there was light, of course it was going to be seen.
So, except for Tobe who was still laughing foolishly, everyone's voices came to an abrupt halt.
It was like a group of ducks suddenly having their necks grabbed—ridiculously funny.
Miura was the most exaggerated—she cried.
Not only did she cry, but she also threw herself into Hikigaya's arms and refused to lift her head.
Hikigaya wanted to cry.
Though honestly, the youkai he dragged out probably wanted to cry more.
A youkai that can only gain emotional energy this way clearly isn't anything powerful—you don't even need to think hard to figure that out.
If you called it revenge, it hadn't really done much, just created an illusion like being trapped in a ghost wall to mess with people. At the end of the day, it wasn't a bad guy—or rather, it didn't even have the ability to be. It hadn't been attached to that rock for long.
But it never imagined that the guy who tore down its "house" would be so ferocious.
Other human exorcists had discovered it before, but all of them were eventually scared away by it.
Yet in this youkai's eyes, Hikigaya was now radiantly dazzling—emitting an overwhelming aura, forming the shape of a giant snake, opening its bloody jaws, while it itself looked like a little piece of fresh meat, about to be sucked in and die.
What the hell!? Is this guy even human!?
Just as it was about to be sucked into the snake's mouth, it panicked, thinking about giving up, when it suddenly saw the terrified expressions on Hayama and the others' faces.
Oh snap, it nearly forgot—it had scared off a ton of idiots before. Those guys could've easily wiped it out, but they still got fooled.
It's actually simple. Since most people who visit temples are believers, all it had to do was take on the form of a god to scare them away.
After all, this was a temple.
So, while Hikigaya looked on with disdain and the others gave it looks like "Whoa, is this a transformation scene?", the youkai began to change. From an indistinct shape, it became more defined and began to swell.
Damn… it turned into Buddha!
"What the—no way? The Buddha just manifested?" Tobe's mouth formed a giant "O."
At this point, he wasn't scared anymore—or wait, maybe even more scared! After all, he came to ask Buddha to help with his confession!
"You're kidding! It's really a divine being?" Yuigahama shouted too, with a look like "What do we do?! What do we do?!"
This semester's exams are definitely going to be a disaster!
Anyway, everyone was thrown into chaos…
Seeing them like this, the youkai that turned into Buddha felt like its belly was going to burst from laughter. Every time it saw humans react like this, it found it hilarious.
Humans really are stupid!
Wait a sec—why am I still being sucked in!?
Come on! I've already turned into a god! And you're still absorbing me? That's just rude!
Too bad, Hikigaya couldn't hear its thoughts.
Amidst everyone's terrified expressions, Hikigaya let go of Miura and Yuigahama and, like picking up a chick, grabbed the "Buddha."
This scene totally broke their idea of anything paranormal.
Then, with rage still boiling, Hikigaya pinned the Buddha-youkai to the ground and started beating it up.
He didn't hold back—the sound of fists landing was sharp and loud.
Even Miura, who'd previously been scared to the point of tears, and everyone else, had a thought pop into their minds: "This must be someone in a costume, right?"
Come on, even if it's not a god, even a ghost wouldn't be this cowardly, right?
But they quickly dropped that thought.
Because they actually saw the thing's head get knocked clean off—then Hikigaya picked up the head, reattached it, and continued the beating.
Holy crap! It's definitely a ghost! No way a real god would be this weak!
And hey, martial arts is that awesome? You can beat up ghosts!? Coach, I want to learn too!!!
So after a brief moment of relief, chaos returned to the group…
Eventually, once Hikigaya was done beating it, he plopped down on the floor and waved to the now-deformed youkai.
"Come on, let's talk."
At this point, the youkai could no longer maintain the Buddha form. It had reverted to its original appearance.
A glowing, gray gaseous blob.
This kind of youkai was considered relatively low-level.
Japan is said to have 8 million deities, and while some have indeed entered proper mythology, the majority are youkai.
This type was known as a cowardly god—one that feeds off human fear. Back in ancient times, they would specifically seek out people walking alone in the dark who were afraid, latch onto their emotions, amplify that fear, and feed on it.
But times have changed. Humans are getting braver. While they're still no match for gods, they're increasingly dangerous for youkai. So this one hid in dark places like this, absorbing the fear of passersby. For a cowardly god like it, a place like the dark inner temple hall was paradise. Not many people, but safe.
Now beaten into a pulp, the cowardly god trembled when it heard Hikigaya say that—it visibly shuddered.
It looked unwilling to come over.
"What? Don't wanna talk?" Hikigaya glared, his temper flaring again.
The gray glow trembled again, then floated over obediently.
"Change into something decent first." Hikigaya frowned. "No eyes, no nose—kinda kills the conversation."
That made the cowardly god furious. Bullying a god now, are we?
But it didn't dare resist. It had almost been beaten to death just now.
So it changed again.
This time, it took the form of a little fuzzy ball with two eyes like black beans—looked pretty cute, honestly.
"A fuzzy one, huh." Hikigaya knocked on it. "Alright, talk. Why scare people?"
The cowardly god felt utterly wronged.
What kind of question is that? You humans eat, right? Do you ask why you need to eat?
And besides, did I even scare you? Be fair here!
"You guys broke my house…" It finally squeezed out a miserable little sentence.
"…."
Hikigaya fell silent. Fair point. But still…
"That place was built by humans—when did it become your house? Weren't you just using it to scare people?"
Stubborn denial is something everyone's born with—no need to be taught.
"S-sorry…" the cowardly god gave in immediately.
So fast that even Hikigaya felt bad for continuing the scolding.
"Fine, I didn't know that stone was so fragile anyway. Hurry up and take down whatever spell you cast—we're heading out."
"Uh… it's already gone… you smashed me while I was still maintaining it."
The cowardly god looked even more aggrieved—how could it have had the strength to keep it up after being beaten like that?
"Oh, you should've said so earlier." Hikigaya glanced toward the exit.
Sure enough, that hazy feeling was gone.
"Alright then, we're off. Don't go scaring people anymore."
With that, he stood up.
Lame. Not a trace of menace from this youkai. Just pathetic.
"Alright, let's go." Hikigaya called to the others.
The outcome of this incident was quite satisfying for him. Nothing else was exposed, the problem was solved neatly, and once again, it proved that learning martial arts is important—not just for punching retirement homes or kicking kindergartens.
You can even protect your daily life and show off a little.
With a classy flair, too.
Sure enough, a few more steps brought them close to the exit, and soon they were climbing back up the steps.
When they emerged back onto the surface, everyone let out a satisfied sigh.
"How was it? Doesn't it feel like being reborn?" asked the uncle from the donation booth with a Kansai-accented chuckle.
"Oh man, it was awesome—feels super refreshing! I'm reborn!" Tobe immediately perked up.
But then came a split in opinions.
Hikigaya didn't plan to visit the actual temple—he wanted to go back.
This temple, named after Otowa Waterfall, had three streams representing longevity, academic success, and love. It housed statues of the Thousand-armed Kannon, Bishamonten, Jizo Bodhisattva, Wind and Thunder gods, and the 28 guardian deities.
To the north of the main hall was a matchmaking shrine for romantic wishes.
If Hikigaya accidentally broke those while praying, he'd feel bad for other visitors.
"Well, that can't be helped, I guess we'll have to split up," Hayama said, seeming back to normal. Tobe too.
The fujoshi girl didn't look too shaken either. These three seemed to have pretty strong mental fortitude.
At least on the surface. After this ghostly encounter, they probably weren't as calm inside—but since they didn't bring it up, Hikigaya wasn't going to ask.
As long as it didn't involve him directly, he didn't care. Too troublesome otherwise.
Eventually, Yuigahama and Miura decided to go back with Hikigaya to the hotel they'd booked. They seemed more affected than the others and weren't in the mood to keep sightseeing.
It was also then that Tamamo no mae, who had previously jumped off Hikigaya's shoulder and disappeared, reappeared and hopped back onto his shoulder—drawing curious looks from those around them.
That made Hikigaya even more eager to leave.
After saying goodbye to Hayama and the others, he left with Yuigahama and Miura.
He still had to contact Hiratsuka Shizuka —she definitely knew where their hotel was.