" So where were we," madam Catherine said pulling her big chair towards the table Infront so as to sit upright. "So Levi, I know we have talked a lot concerning your fee payment but the board has upped their game on school fee payment and they are putting me under pressure that student with a lot of fee payment should pay in order to secure space in this institution, and I am sorry there is nothing I can do about it, I just want to know if you have made any progress on at least looking for the money to at least reduce the arrears." Both Madam Patricia and Peter looked at me simultaneously thinking I had anything to say, wish they knew I had not heard a single word from what she had said.
My mind was still thinking of my past, my cheeks were so wet from the tears that flowed down them like river Amazon in the Amazon, I wonder how they couldn't see how lowered I was in my own tears, if my father could still be around, maybe things would have been different, my fees would have been paid in full, I would not have been in that office in the first place, I would not have been embarrassing myself crying like a baby Infront of strangers, and I would not have been feeling hungry the way I was feeling sitted in that office.
Who would I have called in that time of need, the veins on my head were about to explode from the crying and more so from thinking, my body froze in that chair, I felt so lifeless, all I could see is Madam Catherine's red lips moving simultaneously, I couldn't hear a word from her I tried to look at my friend but all I saw were Peter's red pitying eyes, I didn't understand any of that, I tried to speak but I couldn't, I tried to raise my finger but it was so heavy like gym weights.
"Madam principal I understand you, and I know you are following protocol and we can't tell you to do otherwise," Peter's hard voice turned so soft and meaningfully soothing, I don't know if it was because he was pitying his friend who couldn't talk or because he was having a crush on our school principal, his hand continued caressing my back slowly to calm me down, "but what we ask Madam principal," He continued, "is that you give my friend here a little time to just get you the money please, right Levi?" That question came to me as a rhetorical one, my eyes stuck at one point like a statue and my head couldn't rotate so Peter never got an answer from me.
"You are his friend right?" Madam Catherine asked Peter looking direct at his calm eyes for a minute, "yes I am, my name is Peter," " so Peter, I know how concerned you are about your friend here," Madam Catherine continued, after an imminent moment of looking at each other, "but I don't know how I can help, because I have sat with your friend here for a couple of times, we know each other and we have talked about this for a while, he even asked me for a small job and I looked for him a small job at a curton house, and he told me he was going to save a little to pay for his school fees, and that is why I called him here to ask him for the progress and he is not talking so I don't know how I am going to help him."
Peter looked at me for quite a second and tried to wake me up from my sombre day dreaming."hey friend," he called me out severally tapping my back vigorously, "please let us talk to the principal and know how we are going about this please, Levi please say something, the principal here is ready to talk please say something." I don't know what he wanted me to say when the world on my side had come to its comma, the office was so silent waiting for me to say something but I couldn't, my heart was so heavy for me to lift a voice, my breathing increased rapidly, and my channels of tears became vigorously active.
"Levi, I am a parent and I understand the pressure of paying school fees I understand because I pay schoolfee for my kids and I know how difficult that part of responsibility is especially to you who is just a young boy who such responsibility should not be your burden, and that is why I am asking politely, on us planning a way forward to talk this through and find a solution, their is nothing in this world that lacks solution my dear." Madam Catherine tried to motivate me into talking, her words hit me so powerfully and I felt so great how understanding she was but what was the way forward here aside from me paying my schoolfee immediately or I quit school, as much as I was quiet my mind was looking for a better solution for my problem but I couldn't find any, every way was blocked that I had to keep quiet.
As I froze in my chair I was sweating excessively, my feet gained a kilobyte of a strength that I stood, staggering, my eyes were filled with tears that my visual was so blocked, I couldn't see, "Levi,.....Levi....Levi,.... where are you going,!?" Peter called out trying to hold me, "Levi where are you going!?" "Outside" I whispered as soon as I heard the faint voice of Peter calling me. Both Peter and Madam Catherine watched me as I faded away through the door, Peter wanted to follow me but he wasn't sure where I was going or what I wanted in that moment, so he chose to remain and continued talking to the principal, "so as I was saying....."
I walked myself through the corridors as I tried to dodge the students who were walking towards me, my mind was not focused, everybody looked at me in shock, some tried to laugh at me, others stared at some asked me; 'are you okay,' but I couldn't answer them, my mind said another thing. In that moment life seemed so meaningless, I walked down stairs weakly holding the sides like I was going to fall, I was down in the flowered pathways that I started whispering to myself, the flowers which were smelling so pretty now smelt evil, their beautiful colors now scorched my eyes with their bright petals.
"I want to die!! I want to die!! " It all started in my mind and now I found myself whispering the words loudly, "I want to die!! I want to die!! I want to die!!" "What is he saying?" One of the students whom I met in the pathways asked his colleagues and many more wondered what I was saying to myself, I had become a center of attention in the whole college, students were aligning themselves along the paths looking at me. "Sir are you okay?" One of the security guards at the gates asked me waving his right palm at my face,"sir are you okay," "I want to die!! "
My mind was not in place, I couldn't see where I was going I started my way crossing the road to the other side, saying the very same words, I felt so alone, I saw darkness with nobody in it I felt like everyone had deserted the world and left it for me. "Somebody hold hiiim!!!" MY STORY STILL CONTINUES