Cherreads

Flirt first, Panic later

Scene: Liam's apartment, again. Because apparently, it's now the community center.

***

Kaelani is pacing in oversized socks and a hoodie that says "Emotionally Unavailable But Trying." Vicky247Lovely is curled up on the couch with popcorn, ready for the drama. Luelle lounges nearby, scrolling calmly on her phone like she's waiting for the world to implode, but nicely.

Kaelani:

"I can't believe he asked me to a banquet. A whole banquet. With linens and cutlery I don't understand. Why would Xavier do this to me?"

Vicky:

"Because you once described his dimples as 'illegal in six countries' and he probably felt that in the universe."

Kaelani:

"I say things! I don't mean them!"

Luelle: (not looking up)

"You wrote it in your diary. With a glitter pen."

Vicky: (dramatically tossing popcorn in her mouth)

"Let's review the facts. Man flirts. You flirt back by throwing a breadstick at him. Now you're shocked he thinks you're banquet-worthy?"

Kaelani:

"It was a playful breadstick!"

Luelle: (calmly)

"It hit his forehead and you yelled 'DODGE THIS, EMOTIONS.'"

Kaelani: (groaning)

"I am not fit for formal dining. What if I panic and say 'you too' when someone says 'enjoy the salad'?!"

Vicky:

"Sweetheart, you once accidentally proposed to a waiter because he complimented your earrings. This is not your lowest moment."

Kaelani:

"Why didn't Liam warn me this would happen?! I thought cousins were supposed to be harmless!"

Luelle: (still scrolling)

"Liam's upstairs doing online CPR recertification. And probably praying for noise-canceling walls."

Vicky:

"You know what this is, right? This is your main character arc. The chaotic best friend finally getting invited to the ball by the emotionally stable golden retriever."

Kaelani:

"I am not Cinderella. I am the rat that turned into the horse."

Vicky:

"Oh honey, you're not the rat. You're the sparkle-powered tornado that steals the show halfway through Act One."

Kaelani:

"If I trip in heels, I'm suing."

Vicky:

"Please do. I need new material. 'Banquet Blunder: A Love Story' is going to write itself."

Luelle: (finally looking up)

"If you survive this banquet, you officially earn the right to roast him at your wedding. That's the prize."

Kaelani: (pauses)

"Wait—who said anything about weddings?!"

Vicky: (grinning like the devil on Wi-Fi)

"You did. Last month. In a sleep-deprived voice memo titled 'Reasons I'd Let Xavier Hold My Purse.'"

Kaelani: (screaming into a couch pillow)

"Liam is never getting his throw blanket back."

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