Chapter 61: "Deeper Than Skin"
The drawer made a soft click as she slid it open.
It felt automatic now — like muscle memory. Her fingers reached inside without hesitation. She didn't even have to look. The cool metal kissed her skin like an old secret, familiar and frightening.
Zariah sat back on the floor, legs curled against the tub. The bathroom light buzzed faintly above her, flickering once like it, too, was tired of fighting.
She held the blade in her hand, resting it in her palm like a weight. Not heavy. But it felt heavy — because she knew what it could do. What it had already done.
What it might do next.
Her hands were trembling. Not from fear — from exhaustion.
She pulled her sleeve back slowly. The bandage was soaked again. The cut from the night before hadn't healed, not really. But she didn't care. She peeled it off, exposing the torn skin beneath.
She stared at it.
Then she stared at her reflection in the metal.
"Why am I still here?" she whispered.
No one answered.
Not even herself.
For a long moment, she just held the blade against her skin, not pressing, just feeling the cold edge. She remembered Jasmine's face. The tears. The panic.
She also remembered the girl who shoved her. The voices in the hall. The laughter. The whispers.
She remembered waking up that morning and wishing she hadn't.
She remembered what it felt like last time — the dizzy, quiet, almost peaceful moment before everything went dark.
She brought the blade to her wrist.
And this time, she pressed.
Hard.
The sting was sharp. Deeper than last time.
Warm blood spilled down her arm, fast.
Her vision blurred almost instantly. Her hands slipped, the blade clattering to the tile floor. Her head tilted back against the cabinet, breathing shallow, lips trembling.
Her heart pounded in her ears. Then slowed.
Then slowed again.
This is it, she thought.
Finally, it's quiet.
But just then — her phone vibrated.
A single buzz. Then another. Then three.
She blinked. Her head lolled to the side. The screen glowed with Jasmine's name.
Jasmine: You home?
Jasmine: You didn't answer earlier. Please say something.
Jasmine: Zariah?
Zariah stared at the screen through the haze. Her fingers twitched.
The screen lit again.
Jasmine: I'm coming over.
Zariah tried to move. Tried to call out. But her voice was gone. Her strength had left her with the blood.
The last thing she saw before everything faded was the faint light under the bathroom door…
…and the sound of someone banging on it, calling her name.