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Memorize - Episode 42
042 Make an Offer
I had intended to casually bring it up over drinks if the opportunity arose today. Also, since Han-byeol was likely to part ways anyway, I thought it wouldn't matter if I spoke my true feelings to some extent. If I had known this would happen, I shouldn't have spoken like that in front of the cabin. I felt belated regret, but our hearts had changed all the same.
"When you ask 'why'... it's a bit difficult to answer."
"Is it... difficult to tell me?"
Looking at Han-byeol, who put particular emphasis on the word "me," I shook my head. That wasn't what I meant.
"That's not what I mean. Do you remember the conversation we had in front of the cabin steps before?"
"...Yes."
"I... um... I've been able to think a lot during these three months. Seeing the world of the Hollow Plane, my thoughts have changed to some extent. Anyway, I won't join any clan, not just the Golden Lion Clan."
Although I trailed off a bit at the end, Han-byeol was indeed clever. She seemed to chew on my words for a moment, then looked at me with surprised eyes. It seemed she had grasped my intention as her mind worked.
"Then. Are you thinking of establishing a new clan?"
"Something like that. I'm thinking about establishing a clan. The others didn't receive invitations to join the Golden Lion Clan. That's part of it, but I originally wanted to gather and act together with the kids."
"I also..."
As soon as my words ended, Han-byeol, who was about to say something reflexively, closed her mouth again. I felt her breath become slightly rough. A conflicted expression appeared on Han-byeol's face. Biting her lips repeatedly, she finally opened her mouth in a voice higher than usual, as if she had made some decision.
"I feel the same way. Comparing before and after entering the Hollow Plane, I've experienced many changes in my thoughts. You were amazing during the Trial of Passage. Even after entering the User Academy, you proved your uniqueness, different from others. I know better than anyone that you have ability. But..."
But. This was the signal that what she wanted to tell me was about to start. I listened attentively to her words with a somber face.
"The world of the Hollow Plane is too vast and extensive. So much so that it wouldn't be strange for anything to happen anywhere. It's not a space where one person's ability can do everything, like during the Trial of Passage. Then you might say, it's not just you alone, there are three others."
I was about to say exactly that, but I closed my mouth and nodded. Han-byeol looked at me intently with her cold face that had already recovered, and continued speaking.
"I don't want to say whether to do it or not. I'm not trying to speak negatively either. But... I still feel. Even if you say no, you're inevitably carrying it alone. Within the Hollow Plane, it's too dangerous for a group to depend on one person."
Han-byeol doesn't underestimate the abilities of those three. Rather, she was pointing out my attitude in relation to the attitude of those three. Ultimately, this meant that you can't do anything alone. And her words had a point. However, there was one thing she overlooked.
She took a deep breath as if she had said all she wanted to say. I organized my thoughts for a moment, partly to give her time to catch her breath. Then I slowly opened my mouth.
"Han-byeol, you have a strong single-minded tendency."
"...?"
"It's good to think rationally. But you tend to go in one direction too much."
"What are you suddenly saying?"
"I'm saying don't carelessly judge me and the kids by your own standards and criteria."
Hearing my chilly voice for the first time, Han-byeol seemed surprised and hastily closed her mouth. I stared at her with a cold gaze. Her lips trembled slightly at my tone, which she had never heard before, and I felt a bit sorry. However, since I had already decided to treat her as a user, I would say what needed to be said.
"I'm sorry about that. But I thought you and I were similar. Always rational..."
"Similar, you say. You might think so, but for me. Especially joining a clan, I don't think it can be seen as a rational choice. Especially if it's the Golden Lion Clan."
"...Why? Then are you saying my words were wrong?"
"Is right and wrong important? Whatever choice you make, there are pros and cons, and isn't it a rational choice to weigh them and make the best choice considering yourself and the surrounding situation?"
Kim Han-byeol made a rational choice looking at the present. I made a rational choice looking at the past and future. Despite this simple principle, Han-byeol's face became confused. For the first time, I felt a tightness in my chest looking at her. We were not understanding each other right now.
"The Golden Lion Clan is the best large clan in the Northern Continent. This is an open secret, but... they've already established a foundation and are preparing to march towards the Steel Mountains. From the start, it's bound to be different from starting with nothing. I really can't understand what advantages there are in the path you're trying to take."
"Who guarantees that the march to the Steel Mountains will be successful? They said they'd recommend you for an executive position, but have you thought about what that means? No. More than that, do you really think the users in the clan you're trying to join are trustworthy people?"
I shot back at her with a somewhat sarcastic tone. Nevertheless, Han-byeol listened silently. A moment of silence passed between us, and I felt a cold current forming. Just as I was about to continue speaking after a brief pause, she opened her mouth first.
"Then are you saying you're a trustworthy person?"
"..."
One word. Just one word. With her single word, the subtle cold current between us changed into a chilling silence that settled between her and me. The only sound was our breathing. Numerous expressions appeared on her face. Anger. Sadness. Regret and all sorts of negative emotions. It was the most diverse emotional expression I had seen since meeting her.
I quietly opened my mouth. However, the words that followed contained an undisguisable emotion of disappointment in her.
"Back then, you said to me, 'Why are you doing this, oppa?' If I were to answer that again now. I..."
I...
"I wanted to be a shield for you all then. I wanted to give trust and receive trust. By nature, I don't easily trust people. So I've thought about going alone too. But. As you said, I clearly knew that I couldn't do anything alone. I couldn't ignore that fact."
I take a breath. And immediately continue speaking.
"So once I made that decision, I thought I wanted to at least choose the people I start with. People who trust me. And people I can trust. It's supposed to be a clan, after all. In creating a clan... I wanted at least one or two people who felt like family."
Throughout my speech, Han-byeol's eyes shook violently. Her lips moved slightly as if she wanted to say something. However, the huge information center building was already coming into our view.
In the past, she and I had been at a crossroads. At that time, she followed my choice. And now, she and I were again left with the same two paths. I had already chosen my direction, and she had not yet chosen.
I calmly climb the stairs. And grab the handle of the front door. Han-byeol still hadn't moved at all. As I gently apply force to the door, this time it opens smoothly without a creaking sound. And I slowly step inside.
And I didn't hear Han-byeol following.
Ahn Hyun and the kids were already in the midst of a drinking party. The conversation I had planned to have that day never happened. Watching them laugh and giggle, I inwardly sighed. I felt a bit spiteful thinking these guys would never understand my feelings even if they died. Carefree bastards.
Still, I didn't particularly show it outwardly. Perhaps days like this would never come again. From tomorrow, the path I and the kids would take was a thorny road that could never be considered comfortable. I would push and push them to the point where they might think the User Academy was heaven in comparison.
The drinking party ended successfully(?). Ahn Hyun and Yoo-jung got excited together and eventually lost their senses. Fortunately, since Sol was awake, we were able to carry them back to the dormitory one by one. After roughly throwing Ahn Hyun into a corner, I also lay down and fell into thought.
Now that I had come to the Hollow Plane and my thoughts had changed, there was so much to do immediately. First, after receiving the mission reward points tomorrow, leaving Barbara immediately was the top priority. While thinking about various plans, I eventually drifted off to sleep.
And the next day. The long-awaited morning dawned.
To be honest, the graduation and discharge ceremony was quite boring. Although they said many things, in summary, it was all about how we had worked hard so far and they hoped for a lot of activity in the Northern Continent in the future.
『You have completed the User Academy in Barbara, the major city of the Northern Continent. As a mission reward, 4 ability score points are added.』
After the graduation ceremony ended and we received the reward points, the circumstances of the users clearly diverged. Users who received offers and those who didn't. Users who received offers went into the midst of clan members who came to welcome them, while the rest were just left sucking their thumbs.
Even if not a major city, there should be clans they could join if they went down to general cities or small cities. Seeing them still lingering around even after the graduation ceremony ended, I felt a bit sorry for them. Although it wasn't my concern.
First, I wanted to run to the warehouse and receive the items I had purchased with GP, but that was thwarted as the kids immediately flocked to me. Ahn Hyun, Lee Yoo-jung, and Ahn Sol. As the four of us, including me, gathered, I could feel people who looked like clan scouts watching us. Although I had already politely declined all offers, it seemed they still had lingering attachments.
Ahn Hyun had shown enough potential to make clans drool, but his light was overshadowed by me, Woo Jeong-min, and Seon Yu-un. Yoo-jung's performance was also above average. Both had received numerous offers from mid-sized clans, but they said they rejected them all because of me.
To be honest, if we're talking about treasures, Sol was the greatest treasure. Brilliance Priest. The ultimate priest job and a representative of female users who would stand alongside the Princess of Execution and the Shadow Queen. Even if she didn't get this job, her initial ability scores of 75 magic power points and 100 luck points were tremendous merits.
But Sol unexpectedly didn't receive much attention. According to Ahn Hyun, she seemed to be struggling quite a bit with controlling her magic power. It was understandable, as it would be strange for a user who was still practically a beginner to control intermediate-level magic power. Probably as time passes and she becomes more accustomed, her true value will become more apparent.
The Golden Lion Clan scout was looking at the users with an incredulous face. I learned after the graduation ceremony that the clan had made offers to a total of 5 new users this time. However, only 2 out of those 5 users accepted the offer.
"I'm sorry. I have companions I've been acting with until now. I have no intention of joining alone and leaving the kids behind."
After eloquently turning away the scout who came to invite me to join for the last time, Ahn Hyun and the kids were feeling quite sorry towards me. They seemed to believe my words at face value. While this misunderstanding wasn't bad, it felt uncomfortable, so it seemed better to tell the truth when the opportunity arose.
As we stepped out of the academy's main gate, the outside was bustling with new users and existing users. We could see emblems of various clans, with the Golden Lion Clan members at the forefront.
Then one scene caught my eye, and the protagonist of that scene was Lee Ji-young. She seemed to have joined a somewhat reputable clan and was looking at users who hadn't received offers with an arrogant face. Standing with her arm linked with an instructor and putting on airs, I inwardly thought she was really showing off. I was curious how her face would change six months later, but for now, I turned my steps away.
Suddenly, I thought Kim Han-byeol must be somewhere here. Because I had been feeling one gaze poking at my face for a while. When I turned my head in the direction the gaze was coming from, sure enough, I could see her endlessly staring at me and my companions. However, I didn't want to entangle myself with her anymore. Judging by the fact that her being a Jewel Mage hadn't spread yet, it seemed she had decided to keep it a secret within the clan for the time being.
The kids were all following behind me with faces full of expectation. Just as I was about to leave this place quickly, I had to pause my steps at a voice calling me. When I turned my head, I saw Woo Jeong-min and his companions. Judging by Woo Jeong-min's first greeting of "So you didn't join either," I could guess who the other two who rejected the Golden Lion Clan's offer were. (Of course, I had roughly guessed already.)
While exchanging greetings briefly, Woo Jeong-min suggested if I had any thoughts of acting together for the time being. Honestly, it was a bit tempting. I thought it would be easier on my mind to take advantage of the opportunity and cleanly sweep them away before they gathered strength as the Red Fang Clan. However, before I could answer, Won Hye-su from Woo Jeong-min's group and Lee Yoo-jung from my group showed disgust towards each other, causing the conversation to fizzle out.
Won Hye-su still seemed unable to let go of her feelings towards me, occasionally glancing at me. I understand her feelings. But it's one thing to be understanding once or twice, and it's another to keep acting like this, so I wasn't looking at her favorably either. I'll let it slide for now, but I made up my mind to thoroughly correct her behavior sometime. With that, I said a brief farewell to them.
When I suddenly looked back, the kids were staring at me blankly as I had stopped walking. They too must have rejected offers from decent clans and blindly followed me. Although they hadn't shed the attitude of chicks following their mother, I felt a desire to trust them to some extent.
To do that, the first priority was to tell them the plans for the future.
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