"We should totally scout out the numbers," Teddy exclaims, his glasses flashing in the light.
Felix raises an eyebrow. "You mean, find the numbers and then… beat them up for it?"
"Exactly!" Teddy grins. "Well… now that you say it out loud, it does sound a bit immoral." He scratches his head, clearly reconsidering.
"Yup! I know." Felix nods sagely. "That's why I have a plan. To ease our consciences, we'll go after the ones who go after us first."
"But wouldn't that mean their numbers are worse than ours?" Teddy's confusion lingers.
Felix shrugs. "Not unless we lie about it."
"I don't get it?"
Felix points his finger at a giant reptilian man, with jagged teeth and a giant guandao on its back. "For example that guy."
"If he's '1000100' but we announce we're '1000010.' If he thinks he can get away with it he'll take it from ours. But once we beat him up we get his."
Felix taps his head, acting smug. "That way, we'll draw in a bunch of immoral people looking to attack. But since we didn't start the fight, we can take theirs."
"That still sounds immoral." Teddy's brow furrows.
Felix flashes a grin. "But it's a lower level immoral. Trust me as a former intern of Archangel Michael, it's totally within the indulgence range—if you're Catholic, at least."
He shrugs, "And you just need a bit of reframing, we'll be beating people up that would have taken something if they knew they could. We're technically the good guys here."
Teddy shrugs, "Sure! That means I can use my most favored spell."
"Most favored spell?" Felix turns to Shammurath as the crowd around him heats up.
"Yup! Well… it's technically a forbidden spell as well. I can't really say it out loud."
"Hmm… maybe it's forbidden for a reason? And we should probably avoid it?"
"Ok! Well, its not that bad. Its just for me—"
Felix shushes him, "It's happening."
Teddy swivels his head as they both turn to Shammurath.
"Oi! Cunt! Wear some fucking headphones!" A man walks up to Shammurath.
Sham smiles, "Hmm? Is there a problem?"
"Yeah there's a problem! Your loud fucking music."
"Ah, I see." The music turns louder, "Is that alright then?"
"Why you piece of shit." The man punches as Shammurath disappears like smoke. The punch landing against another, before he kicks him into him. This resulted in a pile of shouts as fire exploded beneath them. Smoke exploding beneath them, swallowing everyone as more punches land and more shouts echo.
Teddy nods, "Wow, he's really a pro, isn't he?"
Felix scoffs, "I can totally do better."
"Really? Then why haven't I seen you try?" A voice asks behind them.
The two swivel their heads as Shammurath stands there smiling.
Felix rolls his eyes, "Because I am not as morally corrupt as you?"
"How cute, you still have morals."
"Not everyone threw them away for power. Asshole."
"And yet, you have not caught me?"
"I'm waiting for a warrant."
"A warrant you will not get, I assure you."
Teddy whispers, "Maybe, you could try right now. We did see him make this mess?"
"Yeah, don't fall for it. He's not really here. He is still a trickster."
"Ah, you know me so well."
Another explosion resounds across the hall as the sounds of shouts thunders.
"I suppose that is my cue to leave." He dips into a bow and vanishes. "Let us meet again."
Teddy claps, "Woah, that was smooth."
"Pfft, showoff." Felix scoffs as the scuffle turns into a war, magic spells flying off the wall.
Teddy watches the scenery, as his face goes increasingly pale.
Felix smiles, "So, I guess this is it?'
The ceiling rings, "Due to the current scuffle, AFTERLIFE would like to remind you to please clean up your dead body once you resurrect. Thank you for your cooperation."
"Okay, Teddy. You, I'm gonna start, you ready?"
"Sure." Teddy rolls back up his sleeves and flourishes hsi hand.
Felix shouts, "Oi! Who's number is this? It's '1000005' Anyone!? Anyone!?"
The entire room freezes as eyes suddenly lock unto them.
"It might have been too effective." Teddy whispers.
"Oh yeah, definitely." Felix pulls out a staff as a man charges him down, before said man transforms into a dragon, its maw wide open, fire flickering in its throat.
The pole extends before slamming down, the ground bursting beneath with his impact.
He takes the number and grins, "Hey, I got 1008854."
Teddy ducks as a sword swishes above him, he aims his wand as a powerful blast disintegrates the man into dust. He pouts, "I got 1009975."
The men around them rally as hundreds more charge at them.
Teddy raises his hand and mutters. "ARISE."
A hole tears up beneath him as demonspawn, with blades for teeth, with swords for hands and spit burning through the floor.
"Oh, you're using the 124th Hell Legion?" Felix walks to his side as he picks up another number. "This one's 1007750."
"You know them? I had this discount, so why not."
"Discount where?"
"Amazon." Teddy flicks open another number as a ray of death flashes above him. "This one's 1005555."
"No way, they have that now?"
"Yup, I'm pretty sure the 34th Legion is also on discount."
Felix laughs, "Still expensive though, right?"
"Definitely."
Countless monsters charged from his portal and filled the hall with screams.
"You know what, there's too many of them to check each one." Felix takes out a wand from his pocket, "Summon the numbers of those with ill intent against us."
Meanwhile, Bai Sheng who sat far away from the trouble and just got his number had it suddenly fly from his hand.
He stares at his empty hand and back at the line and sighed.
The two of them stare at the collection of numbers and back at the.
Felix halfs the pile, "We find the smallest, then compare."
"Got it." Teddy grins as he pulls out a '1000006'
"Wait, seriously? What kind of greedy bastard would even steal for a single pl-"
A roar erupts from behind the scuffle as a large demonic hand surges from the battle, swatting away the legions and men. Horn larger than his head, Gold scattered throughout its skin. Green eyes staring at them in anger.
"Is that Mammon?" Teddy asks as he gulps.
Felix nods, "Yup."
"I think he's the greedy bastard." Teddy turns to Felix.
Felix was already running. "Don't just stand there! Run!"
Teddy starts sprinting as a roar erupted, "FELIX! You stole from me again!"
Felix felt the anger off of Mammon, anger that would have made Satan proud.
"You stole from him?"
"I couldn't help it! Asmodeus asked me to do it."
"That's… hardcore."
"Right? It was pretty funny, until he found out." Felix ducks as golden swords whizz past them. "Then he declared vendetta against me."
Teddy clicks his heel as a broom appears beneath him.
Felix follows, a cloud bringing him up with him as they race to the service counter.
He weaves between the golden swords appearing above him as Mammon screeches in rage, a gate of gold appearing above him. "Felix Calloway. This is where you end."
"Ok, that's new." Felix remarks as they both slam against the counter.
Their faces plant into the glass as the clerk asks, "Hello, how may I help you today?"
Teddy scrambles with the forms as Felix flicks his wand.
A barrier shimmers around them, Mammon's face slamming against the barrier.
"This barrier can't protect you forever, Calloway."
Felix flicks his hair, "Heh, you might think that, but—" The barrier cracks.
He turns to the clerk, "Is there any way we can speed this up. Uhhh, we're government employees, right?"
The crack deepens as Teddy nods furiously, "Yes, yes, we're government employees."
The clerk sighs, "What department are you in?"
"D.E.A.T.H! We work with death."
More gold swords spawns atop them, as Felix furiously nods. "We're both employees."
"Will this be used for D.E.A.T.H. missions?"
Teddy pauses, "Can Tom do that?"
"Tom is a black hole that can destroy a universe, Tom can do whatever the fuck he wants." Swords pierces through the cracks as Felix jumps away. "Eep."
"Then please kindly sign here, here and here. And give this to your receptionist and we'll have it sent and be ready for you by five business days."
Felix grabs Teddy, "That's good! Now! Can we teleport out of here!"
"Uh no?" Teddy moves his head as a sword pierces where it was before.
"Then is there anything you can do against that?"
"It's an ArchDemon Felix, not exactly someone magic is that effective with."
"Anything? Anything? Really?" He jumps as a sword pierces between his legs.
"Oh wait, I still have that forbidden spell."
"Use it." Felix begs.
Then the barriers shatters.
Mammon grabs Felix by the throat.
He growls, hundreds of swords now floating around him all aimed at Felix.
"Oh hey, Mammon. Whats—khhk hkkkhkkk" Felix chokes, "I see, you're still angry."
"Your words have no power here."
Felix gasps for one last time."Anything?"
Teddy looks around, the swords aimed at his own throat. "Ok, Teddy you can do this. It's been a while, but its not like that Magic Association is here. So…"
Felix feels the air in his throat close as Mammon grins.
Before the world was drowned with powerful magic.
Mammon pauses, the hall quietens as Teddy's eyes glow.
And all had understood, a forbidden spell will be uttered.
"Testicular Torsion."