Driving up the street flanked with purple Jacaranda trees which marks the Capital City of Pretoria on the sweltering summer day was anxiety inducing. Onalerona's mother had begun speaking to her and was seemingly trying to show compassion. She had told her in the morning before they got into her dad's Five Series to drive to the University of Pretoria that she was happy that she had passed and was sorry for her reaction earlier. The high expectatitions she had for her daughter had ovreshadowed the facts- she had passed matric with a BD. Besides, Ona's father's animosity was enough for the both of them.
Pulling up to the university looking for parking, there was a large sign which read, "Welcome First Years!" in bright red letters. Ona had suggested where her parents should park their car to commence with their registration.
"We don't know where to park because we are not supposed to be here! We are supposed to be in the Eastern Cape right now!" snapped her mother.
After her mother's outburst, the energy shifted amongst them- it was clear that her mom was beginning her shift as a disappointed parent, tapping her dad out which switched to showing compassion. Did they think that she wanted this? When she had told anybody who would listen that she was going to study at that purple university in Makhanda? Ona was red hot with embarrassment, shame and guilt. She felt like those eggs children fried on the sidewalk. She had studied so hard, and attended extra lessons so how was this outcome possible?
Ona's dad pulled up to a parking spot nestled by two other vehicles in the shade. which appeared out of nowhere in the stoic manner he did things when he was not pleased. They were punishing her, but there was nothing they could do or say which would make her feel worse than she already did. How dare their perfect African daughter not excel and give them bragging rights amongst their friends? How dare she not hold up the mantle of perfectionism that was thrust upon her- Ona rolled her eyes discretely.
The drive from Johannesburg to Pretoria was just under an hour, however the cool breeze of the airconditioner gave her goosebumps- she did not want to leave and venture into the unknown represented by the car. Especially because her parents were so unpredicatble, in this moment. Having to deal with them and her own disappointment was already exhausting to her. She did not care to acknowledge the hurt simmering in the air, for fear that she might choke on it and spit out words that tasted bitter in her mouth. This was not easy for her so why did they insist on making this about them? She said nothing.