ch – 19
Right in front of my face, that glass screen was gleaming. Its light was revealing certain scenes—scenes unfolding before my eyes. Scenes that my eyes had never even imagined… and yet, here they were, alive in front of me.
Watching them, my hands began to tremble slowly. My throat turned completely dry. Even my pupils began to quiver. It felt as if the faint breaths running through my veins… had abandoned me entirely.
Those images playing on that screen… that phone…
I wanted to erase them both from existence.
I wanted to scream with all the strength left in my veins —
"How could someone do this to me?"
"Why… why me?"
"Who did this to me?"
"This is a lie! This can't be true!"
"This is wrong…!"
"This isn't me."
I've been thrown into a web spun from deception.
The truth… is something else.
But in that video — what was being shown, clearly told a different story.
Without hesitation, I flung the phone away from my hand.
The boy seemed slightly startled by my reaction.
From the look on his face… it almost felt like my misery was entertaining him.
I looked at him.
There was a flicker of anger in my eyes —
But also A disappointment, a confusion, a pain, a bitterness.
I was shocked, overwhelmed… and in a way, a stranger to myself.
His pupils were locked onto me.
Still watching me, he quietly moved a little away — walked a step or two, and sat down on a nearby empty seat.
He placed his belongings on the upper berth.
Crossed one long, slender leg over the other.
Rested his hand under his chin… and kept his gaze fixed on me.
His face was smooth, composed.
A straight nose. Big, striking eyes —
eyes that now looked at me with a strange sort of intensity… almost curiosity.
Then I heard his deep voice —
"Freya, tell me the truth. I just can't believe a girl like you—someone I liked—could do something like this."
I was stunned hearing him —
What is he even saying?
Did he fall and hit his head somewhere on the way this morning?
Is that why he's speaking such nonsense?
He continued —
"Freya… but in the video… it's clearly you.
My heart doesn't want to believe it, but my mind has taken control.
Whoever spread this video—I swear, by tomorrow, I'll turn him into a spider for you."
Another guy nearby asked —
"Spider?"
Looking at him, he replied —
"I'll twist and break his arms and legs."
Then he turned back to me and said —
"But… you…"
Before he could finish that sentence,
I cut him off with a sharp voice:
"Just stop."
The expression on my face clearly said —
I wasn't willing to hear a single word more. Even without him saying a word, I already knew what was going through his mind—
and which words were about to come out of his mouth.
But then…
he said the word "but" slowly, almost gently—
looking at me, with a slight smile playing on his lips.
His expression said everything… and I understood exactly what he meant to say.
Looking at that boy, I spoke in a harsh voice:
"I don't need any help from you.
I didn't do anything wrong. I am not wrong."
I was calm—
but inside that calmness was a terrifying darkness,
a choking silence that had held me so tightly
that I couldn't speak,
couldn't move,
couldn't do anything.
Two girls stood nearby.
One of them stepped toward me—
but stopped a few steps away, holding a juice can in her hand.
She looked at me…
then turned to her friend with a light laugh and said:
"Did you hear? The girl in that video isn't even Freya!"
The second girl nodded.
"Yeah. That girl can't be Freya.
Everyone's just judging her based on that video…
and thinking the worst of her."
For a moment, I felt a jolt—as if maybe they believed me.
But the next words that reached my ears
were like a harsh wind that extinguished the gentle flame of my hope before it could even catch fire.
"But Josefa, you saw it too, didn't you?
The girl whose face was so clearly visible in that video—
that was Freya."
The girl gripping the juice can tightly between her fingers
spoke to the other, who stood a little behind her.
Then…
She looked at me and said,
"Right? Freya?"
I sat there completely still, silent.
Besides those two girls, a few boys were there too,
their eyes fixed on me as well.
They whispered among themselves, smirking quietly,
while the boy with the calm face kept looking at me—
his name was Agustin.
Josefa said, "Maybe someone is using your face trying to ruin your name."
The juice girl replied, "Maybe she's jealous OF HER ."
Both tried to hold back their laughter, but their eyes were full of mockery.
"You're right, Alicja!" Josefa nodded.
"But then again… Alicja,
Who would even be jealous of her?"
She looked directly at me as she said that.
Those words pierced deep into my ears, but had no effect on my heart.
Because what she said… might just be true.
Who would ever be jealous of me?
Why would anyone even consider me better than them in anything?
I couldn't even stand up for my own music.
I couldn't make any true friends.
And I never made my parents feel proud or happy.
I feel like I am a fragile white paper boat,
set afloat with an open heart,
ready to dive into the vast ocean.
But the deep, blue waves of that ocean
changed its course and soaked its paper.
Now that boat has neither a path nor strength—
relying only on its paper frame,
stumbling slowly, hitting stones,
just moving forward without knowing where.
A voice echoed in my ears—
"Maybe you don't know, but you do know that
Alicja doesn't live far from your home either.
Your parents and her mother know each other,
and your mother is good friends with her mother."
"I've heard your parents don't like you much either,
they pay more attention to your siblings than to you."
Their words didn't affect me.
If a cup already full of scratches gets a few more,
what difference does it make?
Because it has already grown used to the marks on itself.
Still, those words weren't only meant for me,
but my family was dragged into it too.
No matter whom my parents love,
who are you to speak such words about my family?
I looked at all of them,
and in a calm yet firm voice said—
"You don't need to say anything about my family here.
If my mother loves someone more than anyone, how do you know ?
how do you get the right to speak such words about someone else's mother?
If it matters at all,
it should only matter to me, not to you.
She is my mother,
and the ones you talk about are my siblings.
Who are you to tell me
who they like and who they don't?"
Then a voice rose—
it was Alicja's—
"Freya, it does matter to me.
Do you know why?
Because whenever your mother comes every day
to tell my mother who knows what about you—
oh! I mean, to badmouth you—
my mother tells me some of those things too.
Hearing your nonsense gives me a pain in my ears.
Those ears, made of delicate skin,
when they hear so much cruelty,
they begin to ache.
My poor ears, don't be sad.
From now on, I won't tell you any useless news."
And then she theatrically stroked her ear.
Everyone inside those four walls started laughing—
everyone except me and that boy.
Even his laughter had completely vanished.
Until now, none of their words had touched me,
but in Alicja's words, there was so much venom
that it shattered the last bit of strength inside me.
I didn't know what to say to them anymore,
how to protect my family from their poison.
No way , I was beginning to believe
that my mother too could speak about me this way to others.
How could I accept that my own mother
would say such things about me to someone?
My eyes fell down, and then a voice came—
"Alicja and Josefa, you shouldn't be saying all this."
It was Agustin's voice.
He looked at them, then at me,
and without a word, got up and walked away.
"Where is he going ?" Josefa asked.
"He's always so in himdelf,
but today, something feels different," Alicja said.
"Let him be. Leave him be."
He came like a swift current of water,
left his mark, and vanished like the wind.
I thought they would leave too,
because... I just assumed he was their leader.
But then, Josefa and Alicja started moving toward me.
Behind them, two boys quickly rushed toward me.
They grabbed my hands firmly.
I suddenly couldn't understand what they were doing.
"Let me go! What are you doing?" I shouted at them, struggling.
But instead of letting me go, they held me even tighter.
I was sitting down, trapped in that position—
held strongly from both sides, unable to move my hands,
my legs trembling slightly but unable to free myself.
Then Alicja and Josefa stepped closer toward me.
I was pleading with them to let me go,
stunned by what they were doing.
But without warning, they covered my mouth with a cloth,
so I couldn't scream or say anything.
We couldn't do this with Agustin around—
but now he was gone.
"What will happen to you now, Freya?"
Alicja and Josefa laughed, along with the three boys.
With a black marker, they started writing on my clothes—
Slut, bitch, googly boobly virgily, meet me at 5 pm, today is ours.
As all this was happening,
all I could do was manage a faint, bitter smile.
This video—whatever is on it—has nothing to do with me.
I did nothing wrong.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I wanted to scream,
but these people neither understood my truth nor my pain.
They wrote those harsh words in big, black letters
across my back,
on my seat,
on everything that was mine.
Then, finally, they let me go.
They took the cloth off my mouth.
But now, what was left to say?
They had done everything they wanted, and I couldn't do anything.
They all laughed, looking at me like this.
Since more people were coming, they started to leave.
Alicja said to me, "You deserved this,"
and then everyone else began to walk away.
Just then, Alicja—who was still standing there—suddenly poured juice on me.
Not much landed on my face, but some splashed onto my hair,
and the rest soaked my clothes.
I didn't say a word.
I didn't know what to say.
I wasn't crying, nor laughing,
neither begging to be let go nor fighting back.
I sat there like a stone.
They left, but even as they walked away,
I could still hear their words ringing in my ears:
"Is she crazy?"
"Why?"
"How can someone stay so calm in such a situation?"
"Just leave her."
"Yeah…"
I sat there for a long time,
silent, motionless,
an intense stillness all around me,
but inside, a storm was raging.
I was in shock—I didn't know.
I was tired—I didn't know.
Was I crazy? I didn't know.
I didn't even know… I didn't even know.
I sat there like a stone,
without saying a word, without hearing a sound—
just sitting there.
I didn't wipe the juice stains,
I didn't clean the desks,
I just sat there.
I wanted to cry,
but even tears had abandoned me.
Laughter had long since left me,
all that was left was this storm inside.
Then, I heard a voice—
"Freya!"
When I looked toward the voice,
there stood a beautiful boy, shivering in the cold.
"Adri "