Seeing that Thanos was receptive, Saiki Kusuo began detailing the situation. "Supergiant, for instance," he started, gesturing subtly. "On the surface, she appears utterly respectful towards you. In reality, she's constantly cursing you as 'Purple Sweet Potato' and 'Useless' inside her head."
Thanos: "..."
Supergiant paled instantly. "W-wait! Don't talk nonsense!" Seeing Thanos's gaze turn unfriendly, she launched into a tearful triple denial. "I'm not! I didn't! Master, you have to believe me!"
However, Saiki seemed intent on sealing her fate. "I possess telepathic abilities," he stated coolly. "Therefore, I know your current thoughts revolve around how to silence me immediately, while simultaneously figuring out how to deceive this 'useless Purple Sweet Potato'."
Her innermost thoughts exposed, Supergiant looked as though she might faint from sheer terror.
Saiki then turned his attention to the other members of the Black Order. The husband-and-wife duo, Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight, instinctively took a nervous step back together, their guilt palpable.
"These two," Saiki announced, "frequently use 'conquest missions' as a pretext to delegate the tasks you assign them to their underlings. They then proceed to use the mission's operational funds to take personal honeymoons."
Corvus Glaive / Proxima Midnight: "..."
"And..." Saiki's gaze shifted to Cull Obsidian. "...you constantly invoke your Master's name while engaging in rape, pillage, and plunder—committing every evil imaginable."
Cull Obsidian: "..."
Only Ebony Maw remained. He swallowed nervously, bracing himself for judgment. But Saiki's gaze swept right past him, completely ignoring his existence.
Saiki turned back to Thanos. "And then there are all the others out there, committing crimes, plotting to dominate worlds, even entire galaxies. Do you truly believe sacrificing your life for the sake of these scumbags is worthwhile? Instead of dying disgraced, burdened by infamy, wouldn't it be far better to achieve a glorious end as a true hero?"
Ebony Maw, incensed at being overlooked, suddenly piped up indignantly, "Why did you skip over me?! Are you looking down on me, you stinking brat?!"
Regrettably for him, no one paid him the slightest attention.
Thanos seemed to find merit in Saiki's words. He asked humbly, a startling contrast to his usual demeanor, "Then... how does one become a hero who achieves such a glorious end?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Saiki replied, stating it as if it were simple fact. "By cracking down hard on all those who perpetrate evil throughout the universe. Possessing the Infinity Stones makes you virtually omnipotent. Eliminating cosmic threats would satisfy your stated goal of population reduction and simultaneously establish you as a universally revered hero."
Hearing this, Thanos visibly wavered, his resolve softening. Saiki pressed on, addressing the Titan's final, unspoken reservation. "Every individual life holds value. You should afford yourself a measure of that same value—be more selfish. You have no need to make deals with her," Saiki said significantly, "no need to remain her puppet."
Though neither spoke her name, both knew exactly who "her" referred to.
By now, the Avengers had noticed the quiet conversation between Saiki and Thanos. They cautiously began to close in, forming a wary perimeter. Despite having witnessed Thanos's devastating power firsthand, they steeled themselves, ready to fight to the death for the sake of humanity.
Thanos looked at the approaching heroes—his 'defeated foes'—and let out a long sigh, a sigh tinged with resignation but also, perhaps, a hint of relief. "Perhaps you are right," he conceded, turning back to Saiki. "Perhaps I should endeavor to be a hero who sacrifices himself generously for the greater good, rather than a villain cursed and hunted by all."
With that, the Avengers watched in stunned disbelief as Thanos—the Mad Titan who had just moments ago laid waste to their world and decimated their ranks—simply turned, signaled his remaining forces, and began to withdraw... He was just... leaving?!!
The Avengers stared, utterly bewildered. "???"
Thanos's own minions were equally confused, but none dared voice any objection, falling into formation obediently behind their master. Only Supergiant, still reeling from Saiki's earlier exposé, couldn't help but ask tentatively, "Master... we have come so far... are we really abandoning our course now?"
Thanos paused at the threshold of his ship, turning back to give Supergiant a cryptic, unreadable half-smile. The look sent shivers of terror down her spine. "Of course," Thanos replied smoothly. "I find I have no desire to sacrifice my life for the sake of someone who secretly insults me as 'Purple Sweet Potato' and calls me 'Useless'."
Supergiant: "..." (Internal Panic: He knows! The boss knows I badmouthed him! How can I get out of his service before he decides to settle accounts?!!)
"Oh, one more thing," Thanos added, seemingly remembering something just as he was about to board his vessel. He turned and walked back towards Saiki.
Anticipating Thanos's intention, Saiki instinctively took a step back, but Thanos stopped him with a raised hand. "Since you have chosen to interfere so decisively," the Titan said, his voice resonating with gravity, "you might as well see the good deed through to the end. You know she was my first love. Men... often find the allure of their first love difficult to resist. So," Thanos met Saiki's gaze, "if you truly wish to ensure I do not trouble this Earth again... deal with her for me."
As he spoke, Thanos reached out and pressed a single, glowing Infinity Stone into Saiki's hand. Then, without another word, he turned, boarded his ship, and departed Earth with his remaining forces.
The immediate crisis was averted. A collective sigh of relief swept across the battlefield as smiles—weary but genuine—broke out among the survivors.
Doctor Strange approached Saiki, clapping him firmly on the shoulder. "You did it, Saiki," he said, his voice filled with sincere admiration. "My faith in you was not misplaced."
Now that this mess is resolved, Saiki thought immediately, relief washing over him, I should return the Time Stone to... He looked towards Strange. The created Time Stone, amplified by the Power Stone, was proving more trouble than it was worth. Its power was volatile, difficult to control, constantly threatening to cause temporal rifts if his concentration lapsed for even a second. All the annoying troubles he'd faced in the parallel world stemmed from it. He needed to give it back.
But as the thought formed, he felt a deep, internal resistance. It was too late. The stones he possessed, including the Time Stone Kusuke had created, seemed to be integrating themselves, fusing irrevocably with his very being.
Strange seemed to sense Saiki's internal struggle and chuckled. "Haha, Saiki. Give it up. I suspect it's destined to be with you for good now."
Evening settled over the city. Saiki Kusuo returned home, finally seeing his mother, Saiki Kurumi, for the first time since his unexpected temporal displacement. If it weren't for his established persona—and the fact that an eighteen-year-old throwing himself into his mother's arms sobbing might seem inappropriate—he probably would have done just that.
Kurumi hadn't been feeling well that day and had rested since breakfast, blissfully unaware of the cosmic battle and repeated apocalypses unfolding just outside her door.
Saiki Kuniharu, his father, however, had apparently witnessed everything. He immediately began gesturing wildly, eager to recount the day's events to his wife, undoubtedly planning to embellish his own 'heroic' role during the civilian evacuations. A single warning glare from Saiki silenced him instantly. Kuniharu subsided, sulking quietly as he ate his dinner. Saiki preferred not to burden his mother with such stressful news; although she'd inevitably hear about it from outside sources eventually, he wanted to shield her from worry as much as possible.
As dinner began, Banner and Peter Parker arrived together, having been discharged from whatever post-battle check-ups they required. The massive task of rebuilding the Avengers initiative was being handled by Nick Fury and Tony Stark, leaving them with little immediate responsibility.
Banner ate heartily, showering Kurumi with effusive compliments on her cooking, much to her delight and Kuniharu's simmering, chopstick-snapping jealousy. Peter, compared to Banner, looked a bit worse for wear, sporting several scrapes on his face and hands. Prompted by a subtle glance from Saiki, he explained to a concerned Kurumi that he'd injured himself falling while playing soccer. Kurumi immediately fussed over him, placing the large chicken drumstick originally intended for her husband onto Peter's plate instead. Kuniharu audibly snapped his chopsticks in half.
After dinner, Banner and Kuniharu settled onto the sofa to watch the news reports, providing a running commentary on the coverage. Peter, feeling awkward about constantly freeloading meals, volunteered to help Kurumi with the dishes. Saiki leaned against the balcony railing, gazing out at the city below. Scarred by the day's events, yet already buzzing with resilient, vibrant life.
The scene was surprisingly... heartwarming. Thinking back on everything that had happened since his arrival in New York, Saiki felt a complex wave of emotion wash over him.
Suddenly, Peter's voice drifted up from downstairs. "Kusuo! Come down quickly! Dessert is ready!"
"Coming!" Saiki called back, shaking off his reverie. He turned from the balcony and headed downstairs.
Troublesome people always seem to find their way into his life, he mused. But perhaps... perhaps a life like this isn't so bad after all.
The End.
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...
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Death:Like hell it is!