>>Clio
Recalling the whole thing got my heart heavy.
"The thing is, my father wanted to do business with some shady people. He didn't know they were shady and that was his biggest mistake." I answered softly, "But Dad lost a lot of money when the business didn't go right and they came to get me."
I felt lightheaded.
"It was all a mess, in order to scare my parents they shot my brother but ended up killing him and to save me, my father could only think of me taking his place." The tears were welling up in my eyes and I could feel the tension in the center of my forehead and nose.
"And since then my mother's health just kept declining." I let out a shaky breath while the tears streamed down my cheeks,
There was a look of wrath on his face, "He wanted a little child?"
I shrugged, I had no words to answer that question, "I really don't know why…" I shook my head. To this day I haven't understood why he made that demand.
"He obviously wanted to groom you-" He clenched his jaw, "Worse, there could be worse intentions."
He moved his stool closer to me, "What was his name?" I could feel the anger seething out of him.
My vision blurred and I gulped, trying to lubricate my throat, "I don't know," I choked up, "I don't remember…" I let out a shaky breath, "I don't…"
His expression softened as he kept his eyes on me.
"I would ask you more about the bullies but," He kept his eyes on me, my tears just kept falling, so he moved his hand to place it softly on my cheek, "What you've given me is enough," He moved his thumb to wipe one side of my cheek and then placed his other hand on my other cheek to wipe it clean too.
But my tears wouldn't stop.
I hadn't cried about this stuff since we left City A.
"I only told you this, so that you know why I'm doing this." I placed my hands on top of his, "Please, if possible, can you make sure Zhou-Lin doesn't cause trouble?" My voice was shaking, "I'm really scared, something might go wrong,"
He frowned, "Didn't I say I could protect you?"
"I don't want to cause anyone trouble." I shook my head as more tears fell.
"What if I feel like it's no trouble for me." He asked softly.
"Still," I shook my head, "No," I sniffled, "I just want my peace…" I hiccuped but couldn't stop the tears even though I tried.
"Hey…" He leaned in closer to me, "I told you I'd protect you, didn't I?" I looked at him, his view a bit foggy, "I will see through it,"
I sniffled.
"Come on," He kissed my cheek out of the blue, "Stop crying,"
????
I couldn't process it amongst all those negative emotions but I was startled.
My tears didn't stop though. They were the accumulated stress I've felt over the years. I've never told my story in detail to anyone and now that I have opened up, I feel a little bit relieved but also scared.
My shoulders felt less heavy but my heart hurt. And so the tears continued. What will happen now that my secret is out?
Matthew watched me, then moved and kissed my cheek, right at the place where the tear was rolling down.
!!!
My eyes went wide but I didn't move.
He then moved up and kissed the corner of my eyes.
It caught all of my attention and he paused to look at me. Then kissed my forehead as he kept my face cupped in his hands.
There was a very protective feeling that emanated from his kisses.
I blinked the tears away as my mouth went slightly agape but I kept my eyes on him. We looked at each other and I found my heart catching speed again. Confusion still lingered in my mind even though I knew full well what was happening.
But why was it happening? I didn't know, And why wasn't I pushing him away? I didn't know that either.
My hand trembled as I slid it toward his wrist and so did my pupils as I stared into his dark abyss-like eyes. He then leaned in, his lips coming close to mine. But before he smacked them on mine, he paused, a mere millimeter away.
I could feel his breath and the skin of his brush against my lips.
It sent shivers down my spine. My gaze dropped and I looked at his lips and I found that my breathing was a bit heavier. I gulped, then looked back at his eyes.
There was a moment of tension where he watched to see if I would push him away or pull myself away. When I didn't, he moved.
His lips came onto mine as a tender gesture. I closed my eyes the moment he moved his mouth. My heartbeat palpitated. I could taste the saltiness of my own tears, but it didn't matter. Why? Because I seemed to find some sort of comfort in him.
His touch was like a whisper against my skin, fingers tracing a delicate path from my cheek to the nape of my neck. A spark of electricity lingered in his caress, and when his thumb brushed away the last tear, there was an intimacy in the way his thumb continued to caress my cheek, a reassurance
The kiss was soft and unhurried at first as if testing the waters. It was slow, I felt the way his lips moved and it was easy to follow before it deepened but it didn't get wild or rough. Every movement of his lips was igniting a symphony of emotions, leaving an imprint on my heart.
I could taste the subtle sweetness of his breath, feel the warmth of his mouth melding with mine. His hand, once wiping away tears, now moved, fingers threading through strands of hair with a gentle insistence.
There was a delicate vulnerability in his touch, and with each tender press, it felt like he was mending the cracks in my heart. A warmth spread from the epicenter of the kiss, radiating through every fiber of my being.
A subtle longing crept in, a desire for the moment to stretch into eternity.
I had never kissed anyone before Matthew, so I don't know if this is how it's supposed to feel but nonetheless I loved the feeling. It just seemed so warm it made me tremble.
But before there could be any rough urgency in the act, Matthew pulled away softly. Our lips parted and I opened my eyes as I let the air in my lungs. Then I exhaled the air and our eyes met again.
He was close, his eyes were focused on me and that made me nervous.
There was an ocean of emotions erupting inside of me but amidst the sea of emotions, there was an undeniable sense of peace
But why?
Why do I feel better with his touch?
"Feeling better?"
!!!!?
His words broke me out of my trance and I looked away shyly, "Yes," I said softly.
"You can have the guest room, it's the same one you used before," He said ever so softly, his voice tickling the strings of my heart, "You must be tired, you should go to sleep."
"Mmm," I couldn't look at him straight as my face burned red. And I hopped off the stool and speed walked out of there, running up the stairs and going straight to the guest room where I jumped on the bed and slipped under the covers.
As if hiding myself from the world.
I should try and go to sleep!
I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.
Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!! Don't think about it!!
But I failed, my heartbeat wouldn't slow down and the kiss was all I could think about the whole night.
I brought my fingers to my lips, gently touching them, reminiscing the act.
I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss, especially because I never knew a kiss could make me feel safe.
…
But it's not just about the kiss, is it? It's about the person too.
Isn't it?
~~Author's Bullshit
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