Daily Meme
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Kaminari snapped his fingers. A bolt of electricity shot forward. It cracked against Orca's tongue. His whole body tensed, muscles locking up for a split second.
That was my cue.
I Quickstepped in, swung the bat, and aimed right for his goddamn throat. The impact was solid—his head snapped back. He stumbled a step. First real reaction I gotten out of him.
I swung again. This time, he caught it. His grip crushed the wood like cheap straw.
"Shit."
His other arm shot out. I ducked, barely missing the backhand. Inasa threw another gust, pushing him off balance for a split second. Todoroki launched a second wave of fire, forcing him to turn his head.
I pulled a move straight out of my ass. I grabbed Kirishima and threw him.
Kirishima didn't even question it. His hardened fist crashed into Orca's side like a damn missile. Orca staggered, just a little. Enough for Bakugo to blast him again, for Kaminari to zap him one more time, for Izuku to shoot forward and slam a kick into his knee.
I was already moving, my bat bent. "You ready to tap out yet, Free Willy?"
Orca exhaled. Another sonic wave. This one was worse. The sheer force knocked us all back. My ears rang. Vision blurred for a second. I hit the ground hard, rolling before scrambling back up.
He stepped forward. Fast. His hand closed around my neck before I could dodge.
Oh. This was bad.
He lifted me. My feet left the ground.
"Think fast, brat," he said.
Yeah, okay, cool. Too bad I was fresh out of ideas. I grabbed his wrist, tried to kick, tried to do anything, but his grip was too strong. My throat burned. I couldn't breathe.
[WARNING: CRITICAL DAMAGE IMMINENT DUMBASS.]
Yeah, no shit.
The others were moving—Bakugo was already charging, explosions primed, but he wasn't going to make it in time.
Screw it. If I was going down, I was going down swinging.
I let go of his wrist and jabbed two fingers into his eyes.
He grunted, grip loosening slightly. I took the opportunity to slam my forehead into his nose.
He let go.
I dropped, gasping.
I Quickstepped back before he could grab me again. My throat ached. I ignored it.
[NEW QUEST OBJECTIVE: DON'T GET CHOKED TO DEATH.]
Yeah, I figured.
I wiped my mouth. My hand came back red.
Before we could go another round, Mera's voice cut through the mess. "All victims have been saved. Second stage is completed."
Gang Orca eased up, stepping closer. "Shit, brat. Sorry, I used excessive force."
I cracked a grin. "Nah, you're good. Sorry for the shit talk. I get a bit of a bastard in battles."
He let out a low chuckle. "Well, I pity villains."
I stretched my arms, rolling my shoulders. "Yeah, they've got it rough."
The system pinged.
[NEW QUEST COMPLETE: TALKING SHIT AND SURVIVING.] [REWARD: +2 CHARISMA, +1 ENDURANCE.]
Damn right.
FINAL REWARD SUMMARY:
Base XP Earned: +2,280 XP
New Skills & Passives:
"Pinpoint Rebound Strike" (Redirect incoming projectiles with increased speed & force with precise targeting.)
"Last Second Save" (Small chance to auto-dodge an attack when caught off-guard.)
"Momentum Shift" (Convert dodged attacks into temporary strength buffs.)
New System Features:
"Crafting Room" (Now you can build stupid shit at your convenience.)
Reputation Boosts:
Recognized by Pro Heroes & Exam Officials
We all moved to the center, gathering in front of a giant screen. The ranking board flickered to life, listing our points from the rescue phase.
The ranking board flickered, names scrolling into place. I scanned the list, and there it was—my name at the very top.
Ryuu Midoriya– 99 Points
I grinned. Damn right.
Right below me was Yaoyorozu with 94 points—no surprise there. She had handled the logistics, medical support, and quick-strategy work like a damn pro. After her, the numbers started dipping.
Izuku – 79 Points (Solid effort, but he wasn't leading the charge.)
Bakugo – 71 Points (He got the job done, but teamwork isn't in his vocabulary.)
Todoroki/Inasa – 68 Points (The fact that they almost fought dropped them hard.)
Class 1-A's Average – 80 Points (Because they were working under me, and I make people better, obviously.)
The numbers didn't lie. Class 1-A had outperformed most of the other schools thanks to our efficiency, coordination, and general lack of dumbassery. Meanwhile, the weaker teams had scrambled like headless chickens, hoping their quirks would carry them.
Mera, the eternal corpse-in-a-suit, didn't even react to the rankings. He just sighed. "Alright, let's move on."
Gang Orca stepped forward, arms crossed, looking between us like he was deciding whether to approve or deck us all. "Not bad."
I arched a brow. "Not bad? I would say we crushed it."
His eye twitched. "Careful, kid. I could've gone harder."
I smirked. "So could I."
Bakugo snorted in the background. "Tch. You two gonna kiss next?"
Orca ignored him, glancing toward the ranking board. "You," he pointed at Yaoyorozu, "had an efficient plan. You adapted, supported, and ensured the mission succeeded. Good work."
Yaoyorozu straightened, looking like she had just been knighted. "Thank you, sir."
Then he turned to me.
"And you," he said.
I tilted my head. "Yes, Papa?"
Kaminari choked on air. Jiro smacked my arm.
Orca sighed long and deep, like he was questioning his career choices. "You took charge well. Kept people moving, assigned them roles based on strengths, and handled obstacles without panic."
I gave him finger guns. "That's what I do."
He ignored it. "However."
I frowned. "However?"
He folded his arms. "Your tactics were effective, but your mouth is dangerous."
I gasped. "Are you saying my trash talk isn't heroic?"
"You spent an entire fight calling me 'Free Willy' and making questionable jokes about my mother."
"Oh, c'mon, that was quality content."
"I have never, in my entire career, considered punching a child until today."
"You're welcome."
Yaoyorozu covered her face. Sero was dying of laughter. Even Mera, who was supposed to be the responsible adult here, was fighting a smirk.
Gang Orca rubbed his temples. "...Regardless. You were the most composed and heroic one on that battlefield, so I won't take points away."
"Damn right."
He grunted. "But watch your mouth, kid. You won't always be fighting villains who laugh at your jokes."
I smirked. "That's why I make sure my punches hit just as hard."
Orca didn't argue. He just shook his head. "Hmph. Just don't die."
Mera stepped in again, still looking like he wanted to walk into traffic. "With that, the Provisional Hero License Exam comes to an end."
The screen flickered one more time.
FINAL RESULT: PASSED.
I rolled my shoulders, taking in the moment.
[PROVISIONAL HERO LICENSE ACQUIRED]
[NEW TITLE UNLOCKED: Certified Dumbass With Legal Authority]
[NOTE: Government regrets this decision.]
Shut the fuck up man.
The committee started handing out the results. A neat little paper that summarized our performance, what we did well, what we did wrong, and, in my case, a gentle reminder that roasting a pro hero and his mother wasn't exactly encouraged in the hero community.
"Final Score: 99. Deduction Reason: Insulting a human being and his mother."
Meh. Worth it.
I glanced at Bakugo's paper. 71. He scowled at it like it personally owed him money.
"What the fuck did they dock me for?"
Kirishima peeked. "Uh… 'reckless endangerment, failure to coordinate, and aggressive demeanor'?"
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Tch. Bullshit."
"They're not wrong," Jiro muttered.
Bakugo turned, about to bark something back, but Mera clapped his hands together—probably the most energy he'd put into anything all day.
"Now that you have your results, listen up."
Half the room was already zoning out. Mera didn't seem to care.
"You are now eligible to intervene in real-world emergencies."
People perked up. Even Bakugo stopped glaring at his paper.
"This means that in cases where there is immediate danger, you are authorized to act. However, any abuse of this privilege will result in immediate license suspension and further disciplinary action."
I leaned toward Kaminari. "So if I punch a villain outside of a crisis, what happens?"
"You get your ass arrested," Yaoyorozu answered before Kaminari could.
I hummed. "Sounds about right."
Mera droned on. Something about responsibility, upholding public trust, how we were the new generation of heroes, yadda yadda. I half-listened, mostly because I was more interested in watching how everyone was reacting.
Mineta looked like he was going to start crying. Uraraka gripped her paper like it was a golden ticket. Iida was nodding along, clearly treating this like a sacred moment. Todoroki… yeah, I had no clue what was going on in his head.
Mera finally finished his speech with a sigh, like even he was bored of his own words. "That concludes the Provisional Hero License Exam. You're dismissed."
No one moved at first. Then people started muttering. Some were excited, some just relieved it was over.
I stuffed my paper into my pocket and stretched. "So, what's next? Lunch? Nap? Beating the shit out of Bakugo for fun?"
Bakugo cracked his knuckles. "Try it, dipshit."
"You would like that too much."
Kaminari snickered. "So, we're heroes now. Feels weird."
"You were always a hero in our hearts, Kaminari," Mina said dramatically, pretending to wipe a tear.
"Aw, really?"
"No."
The group started moving toward the exit. People from the other schools were still hanging around, some congratulating each other, others complaining about their scores.
"Yo, Midoriya!"
I turned. Inasa was jogging up, still looking vaguely annoyed.
"Good job out there," he said.
I raised a brow. "That sounded painful."
"It was."
I snorted. "Well, at least you got over your weird grudge for five minutes. Progress."
He crossed his arms. "I still don't like him."
I glanced at Todoroki. "You hear that? He still doesn't like you."
Todoroki blinked. "Okay."
Inasa looked like he wanted to throw something. I patted his shoulder. "Baby steps, man."
--
You bit into the story.
So spicy. So layered.
Cheese. Angst. Comedy.
But you didn't drop a Stone.
Now your burrito unrolls mid-bite.
All your feelings spill onto your keyboard.
"Should've voted," it whispers.
"Then you'd have napkins."
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