"So the village chief, Old Mike, is actually a fallen noble—and he's hiding a sacred relic?"
Yarrow leaned back against the creaking wooden frame of the carriage, sorting through the scraps of information he'd gathered from the others.
Apparently, Old Mike had once held a noble title before falling from grace. He'd retreated into obscurity, choosing to live out his days in the quiet village of Baca. Yet even in exile, he hadn't parted with the treasures he'd accumulated in his former life—including, it seemed, a powerful magical artifact of unknown origin.
Its nature and location were a mystery, but this much was clear: the Goblins knew something. According to the eldest son—the only one who had escaped their recent raid—the Goblins had likely learned of the relic and captured Mike to force its location from him. The son had even offered up a mobile phone as a reward. That alone spoke volumes.
Yarrow glanced up at the carriage ceiling.A sacred relic and a phone? Was Mike another transmigrator? Some kind of Mobile Phone Hero?
He dismissed the thought with a sigh. The son had said the phone had only surfaced a year ago, so probably not.
Still… what kind of relic would someone give away a phone to protect?
His thoughts spiraled until he gave up and let himself sink against the carriage wall.
Beside him, Zen sat quietly, flipping through the pages of a thick paperback. She'd been far more agreeable since developing her strange addiction to human novels. Once, she wouldn't be caught dead riding in a carriage—now she barely noticed it.
She was deeply engrossed in her latest read: The Dragon Hero's World-Destroying Chronicle. Judging by the ominous title and her focused expression, things were escalating quickly in that story.
The carriage eventually slowed to a halt.
They'd arrived at the edge of Blackwater Mountain Forest—a dense and tangled wilderness known for harboring dangerous beasts and, in game terms, a certified high-difficulty dungeon. The sort of place you didn't wander into without backup… or a death wish.
The adventurers disembarked, gearing up and checking supplies.
One of the scouts spoke up as they began their approach along the winding forest path."According to the map, the goblin nest is beneath a hill on the northwest edge of the forest—around ten kilometers out."
A young priestess clutched her staff nervously."Goblins are smart, right? What if they've set up sentries? What if we're already being watched?"
Charles, naturally, jumped at the opportunity to puff himself up.
"Worry not," he said, smoothing back his hair. "I'm practically a crystal-level mage. Should things go south, I'll protect you."
"Really?" she blinked at him, starry-eyed.
Yarrow suppressed a groan. You absolute fraud.
Nearby, a bronze-skinned warrior cracked his knuckles."Hmph. So what if they're smart? They're still just beasts. Can't match real warriors."
"Exactly. Let's get this over with. I'm getting married next week."
"Just goblins, right? What could go wrong?"
Laughter followed. Spirits were high.
Yarrow and Zen brought up the rear. He listened with mild detachment, hands tucked behind his head.
"Why do I feel like I've seen this plot before?" he muttered.
Zen didn't look up. "Because you probably have. You're a walking trope magnet."
He scratched his chin."Someone's definitely about to die."
As if summoned by narrative irony, a scream tore through the forest.
An arrow flew, landing with a thunk in the bronze-skinned warrior's arm.
"Agh! My arm!"
Eyes snapped upward. A goblin—green-skinned, short, and sneering—stood perched on a tree branch, bow drawn for a second shot.
"Enemy attack!"
"The goblins are here!"
The group dissolved into chaos. Steel rang as weapons were drawn. Potions spilled. Someone tripped over their own bag.
From the shadows between the trees, eerie laughter rose. Then came the wave—dozens of goblins, rushing forward with clubs, daggers, and crude machetes, howling as they charged.
"There's too many!"
"The intel was wrong!"
"Get the barrier up—NOW!"
Yarrow exhaled, utterly unsurprised.
"Zen!" he called out. "Incoming!"
Without looking up from her book, she replied:"When requesting aid from this king, remember to add 'Lord Zen,' you peasant."
She snapped the book shut with a dramatic thud.
Crackling arcs of magic shimmered around her. Lightning sparked at her fingertips. Her silver hair lifted as if caught in an invisible wind. The air pulsed with energy, and her golden eyes shifted—deepening to a stormy blue.
As the goblins closed in, Zen raised one hand lazily.
A roar of thunder ripped through the forest, accompanied by a dazzling light that swallowed everything in its path. It was as if the sky itself had descended.
A dragon's cry echoed faintly within the blast.
When the light faded, silence fell.
Charred goblin remains littered the scorched earth. Blackened trees smoked and crackled, their trunks turned to ash.
Within a radius of several hundred meters, nothing remained—only the burnt husks of what had once been a goblin ambush.
Every head slowly turned toward Zen.
She stood at the center of it all, brushing ash off her shoulder.
"...Now, where was I?" she murmured, opening her book again.
Zen flicked her long silver hair over her shoulder, the last flickers of lightning crackling out at her fingertips. The air was still humming from her thunderous display.
Yarrow glanced around at the scorched battlefield, clicking his tongue in appreciation."Damn… that hit harder than I expected."
He reached into his bag and pulled out a packet of biscuits, offering it to her with both hands."Lord Zen is truly unmatched. Please accept this humble tribute."
"Hmph. At least you know how to show respect." Zen snatched the bag with an elegant flick of her wrist, popping a biscuit into her mouth.
She chewed once, then paused.
Wait.
Why does this feel like a reward you'd give a well-behaved pet?
Her golden eyes narrowed.
Yarrow, wisely, pretended not to notice.
Meanwhile, the rest of the adventuring party exchanged glances. Then, without a word, they all subtly repositioned themselves—behind Zen. They now followed at a respectful distance, as if she'd suddenly become their party leader. Which, in every way that mattered, she had.
"Told you we'd steamroll this round." one of them muttered smugly.
Their journey continued through the forest with no further resistance. Not a single goblin showed its face. Before long, they arrived at the entrance to the nest.
A yawning cave mouth loomed ahead, exhaling damp air that reeked of mildew and rot.
"Keep your eyes open," one of the scouts warned. "The terrain inside is a mess—twists, dead ends, drop-offs. Don't stray too far or you'll get lost."
"No goblins guarding the entrance? That's not a good sign..."
"Relax. We've got a dragonkin at the front. Worst case, just follow and shout 'six-six-six!'"
"Yeah, feels good having a big shot carry us. We just stay in the back and grab loot."
Their whispers grew louder, more obnoxious.
Zen's brow twitched."These humans are getting on my nerves."
She muttered darkly, "I knew I should've vaporized them while I had the chance."
Yarrow held up a glowing firefly stone to illuminate the interior as they entered."Let's prioritize the Goblin King, Lord Zen. You can wipe out the peanut gallery later if they survive."
He glanced at a parchment map provided by the Adventurers' Guild."...This layout feels off. Either the map's outdated or deliberately wrong."
"Want to catch a goblin and ask?" Zen offered, her tone hopeful.
"Yeah, that would help. But they've all probably run for the hills after your thunderstorm."
Unbeknownst to them, in a nearby cavern deeper in the nest, a large bat fluttered in, panting and wild-eyed.
"They're coming!" it squeaked. "That white-haired dragonkin is with them!"
A hush fell over the gathered goblins. Heads lowered. Hopes sank.
"Dammit, this isn't how the script goes!" one goblin whined. "We're supposed to slaughter the adventurers and… uh, 'entertain' the captives!"
"Why is there a dragonkin here? That wasn't in the plan!"
"What do we do now? I was promised a blonde human bombshell!"
The roomful of goblins slumped in collective despair.
A burly goblin—bigger, meaner, probably the brains of the bunch—stood up with a grim expression.
"There's only one option, Bobo."
He turned to the breathless bat."You need to lure that dragonkin away. Get her out of the cave, then we'll deal with the others."
"Me? Lure her?! Are you insane? She'll fry me before I flap twice!"
"You don't have to fight her, idiot. Just fly fast. You're the quickest among us—she won't catch you."
"Do it for the tribe. If you survive, we'll give you the fattest human as a reward."
The goblins all turned to Bobo with hopeful eyes.
The bat gulped, looked around at their desperate faces, then gritted his teeth."...Fine. I'll do it."
Back in the corridor, the adventuring team was creeping deeper into the tunnels when something zipped into view.
A massive bat—nearly a meter long—swooped down the passage, wings outstretched like a leathery cape.
Before anyone could react, it shouted:
"Hey! White-haired lizard woman! Did your mom yank you out by the horns when she gave birth—from her ass?"
Then it vanished into the tunnel ahead, its mocking laughter echoing through the stone.
Everyone froze.
Yarrow turned slowly to Zen, whose entire body was twitching with suppressed rage. Sparks were already dancing across her shoulders.
He muttered under his breath:
"...Oh. That thing's dead."
..... patreon Seasay for more chapters, I'd appreciate the support