The cohort stood in silence, gazing at the graveyard of swords—each blade jutting from the earth like a mournful epitaph. Emotions rippled through them like silent waves in a black sea. Effie's expression was especially grave, sorrow draped over her like a funeral shroud. Understandable, considering the violent fate that had befallen the cultists—regardless of their crimes.
Kai stood beside her, eyes distant, filled with that quiet ache of someone wondering if things could have gone differently. Sunny, on the other hand, looked like he was contemplating dinner options. Empathy, it seemed, wasn't on the menu today.
And then there was Klaus.
With a grin far too cheerful for the situation, Klaus planted a shovel into the ground with the flourish of a knight drawing a holy blade. He spun it in his hands like it was Excalibur itself.
Effie blinked at him, squinting.
"…What is that?"
Klaus beamed, patting the shovel like an old friend.
"This, my dear companions, is the Omnitool—my most precious memory forged into liquid metal. It can take any shape, but I've always liked it best as a humble shovel."
He began digging with the enthusiasm of someone gardening tulips instead of preparing a mass grave. The others stared at him. Sunny, ever the voice of sardonic reason, let out a baffled sigh.
"Gods above... just how many people have you buried to make a shovel your most treasured memory?"
Klaus shrugged and began levitating the corpses, flinging them into the pit with all the reverence of a man tossing laundry into a basket.
"Eh, numbers are for accountants. What's important is that Omnitool is perfection. It can be anything. For example, like shovel and... Shovel?"
Effie gave him a long, exhausted look, rubbing her temples as if warding off a migraine summoned by sheer idiocy.
"…So you only ever use it as a shovel?! Gods above…"
Klaus avoided her glare, suddenly very interested in the dirt. He covered his face with one hand, mumbling:
"Anyway, that's done. Let's go, shall we?"
Kai's eyes, however, kept flicking back—drawn not to the grave, but to something else. Specifically, to what remained of Serka, her half-devoured body pinned to the pillar like a grotesque marionette.
"Klaus," he said slowly, voice low, "why… why that? You could have just killed her. Quick. Clean. Why do all… that?"
The others paused, all looking at him now. The air was still, save for the wind rustling the torn banners above. Children rescued from the temple were nestled safely within Hemera's warm embrace, their bruised and broken bodies healed.
Klaus's eyes sharpened, his usual clownish demeanor slipping for a moment. He looked almost wise… disturbingly so.
"When I fought her," he said in a measured, solemn tone, "the voices in my head grew wild—chaotic. They screamed. It was like a furnace in my soul, blazing with hunger and rage. A divine fire demanding retribution."
Effie narrowed her eyes. "What melodramatic bullshit are you—"
He held up a hand dramatically. "Wait, let me finish. As she neared death, they roared even louder. Screaming 'Finish her!' and all that. I—I couldn't resist. I thought it was some ancient entity guiding my hand..."
He paused, then grinned brightly.
"Turns out it was just my stomach. I was really, really hungry."
Effie made a sound between a gasp and a scream, then immediately grabbed Kai by the shoulders and began shaking him violently.
"Tell me he's lying! Tell me! Please, Kai! This idiot is insane!"
Kai groaned, flopping like a ragdoll in her grip.
"I wish he was... but no. He's telling the truth. As horrifying as that is."
Klaus, now thoroughly pleased with himself, ruffled Effie's hair like a proud older brother announcing his science fair victory.
"Oh, and after I devoured her, the voices went wild. And when I nailed her to the pillar, they erupted with applause. I swear, I heard them shout—'FATALITY! KLAUS WINS! FLAWLESS VICTORY!'"
Effie stared at him as if witnessing a car crash in slow motion. A vein twitched near her eye. Somewhere in her soul, a prayer was said—Dear gods, please delete this schizophrenic bastard from universe!
Klaus shrugged, already whistling a jaunty tune, casually skipping ahead like none of it mattered.
____
At dawn, the Sanctuary's tranquil silence was broken by the arrival of an unusual procession.
From the heavens descended a tall figure clad in flowing silk, his face charming, soft and beautiful. He landed with the ease of a falling leaf, his boots barely making a sound on the dew-kissed grass.
Moments later, the ground trembled slightly as an enormous four-armed demon climbed from beneath the floating island, his imposing figure casting a long shadow under the morning sun. But even that peculiar sight paled in comparison to what came next.
A majestic phoenix soared through the sky, its wings trailing embers like ribbons of molten gold. With a graceful thud, the mythical bird landed, its fiery feathers causing the air itself to shimmer. On its back were several children, who slid down with wide eyes and thrilled laughter.
Hemera gave her wings a mighty shake, igniting the air in a dazzling spray of sparks before dissolving into ethereal light—returning to Klaus's spirit sea like a dream melting into dawn.
Klaus, meanwhile, was standing nearby, gnawing his nail with the expression of a man tormented by envy. His gaze was fixed upon Effie—who was, in a scene that defied all reason, perched atop Sunny's broad shoulders, gleefully swinging her legs and gripping his horns like reins.
"Gee-up! Faster!" she cried, as if she were riding a particularly grumpy steed.
Sunny grimaced, teeth grinding audibly. "Can you— stop swinging your damn legs? I am not a horse, you gremlin!"
His complaint was met with indifference. Effie only swung harder, prompting Sunny to sigh with the weariness of a man regretting every life choice that had led to this moment. With two of his four arms, he caught her legs to restrain the wild kicking—no easy task, given the absurd strength packed into that scrawny frame.
"Ow! My bruises!" Effie whined theatrically, her voice cracking as she made a pitiful face. "Oh no… Uncle Demon, please don't hit me again! I'll be good, I promise! I'll recover faster next time, really… don't be mad…"
Klaus raised a hand to his mouth, eyes widening in mock horror.
"Oh my," he whispered, voice trembling with theatrical shock. "What have I witnessed…? Certified pedophile…"
Gasps erupted from the Sanctuary's residents. Their eyes flicked from the bruises mottling the girl's limbs to Sunny's increasingly horrified face.
That did it. Sunny let out a howl of indignant fury as Effie and Klaus both collapsed into helpless laughter, the girl nearly falling from his shoulders as tears streamed down her face.
When the giggling subsided, Effie glanced at the tall menhirs in the heart of the Sanctuary, her expression sobering. She lingered in silence, then muttered under her breath, just loud enough for the cohort to hear:
"…So, let me get this straight. The entire Nightmare was corrupted by the Demon of Desire, and to conquer it, we have to free her… with the help of a mad Transcendent sorcerer who wants to spit in the face of the gods, start a war with the four Chain Lords, and then personally murder them all? And this sorcerer—Noctis—is the same guy who sent you to the Temple of the Chalice? That's who we're trusting?"
Klaus nodded nonchalantly, yawning as he bit into a roasted skewer of meat.
"More or less. He's also my teacher. Best guy you'll find in the entire Kingdom of Hope… and he'll make sure to remind you of that at every opportunity. A charlatan, yes. But a reliable one."
Sunny scowled, spitting with disdain.
"Reliable? That smug bastard conned us again!"
Klaus blinked, unimpressed. He shook his head with exaggerated disappointment.
"Do any of you know the first thing about politics? It's never that simple. Noctis could've crushed that entire sect with a flick of his finger, sure—but if he did, the other Chain Lords would've caught on that he's gathering the knives. Then they'd jump him before he was ready. He'd die. We'd die. Everyone dies. Happy?"
He waved the skewer like a conductor's baton, punctuating each word with a bite. "Peace treaties, power balances, plausible deniability—all that boring stuff matters. If he breaks the rules, they can too. Then it's a chain reaction. Kaboom. So no, we weren't really swindled. Just… strategically misled."
Sunny and Kai opened their mouths… then slowly closed them again.
Kai eventually spoke, his voice uncertain.
"…So you knew all that from the start?"
Klaus rolled his eyes and muttered into his food.
"Uneducated bums. kekekekehahhhaha... wubba lubba dub dub, huh?..."