"It'll just have to do." A wet, slimy, yet familiar hand stroked my sweating forehead.
My eyes, blurry though they were, saw the blood. And the wreckage of a hand now propping me against his chest.
Was it Edward?
It must've been. Who else would go this far to save me.
And even though it hurt, something hard passed my lips. I tried to swallow but choked; what I assume was bread too hard to go down.
I felt his fingers. And bit down anyway. Because I couldn't hold my jaw anymore. Because I was burning.
There weren't words between us. He just continued to feed me. Was it because he felt guilty?
I know now. It wasn't just guilt swallowing him.
Love, too, kills. Because I was dying. Because he couldn't save me. And desperation—
Makes sacrifice a hasty decision.
***
He began speaking; his tears falling and his hands shaking…
"I don't know what they've done to you, Ethan! You're not getting any better. You're not getting better and I don't know what to do! W-what—do I do? What can I do?!" His voice shuddered against me.
I remained quiet, leaning into his chest. I, too, knew next to nothing; I couldn't say even if I wanted to. I was going to die. There was no recourse left to me.
"Di—Uh, Ethan, what did they do to you in there? Can you—tell me? I'm scared! They're scaring me! They're in pain. Maimed even! And we'll be next! We'll be next!" Sobbing. And the feeling of tears against me—
"Shhh! they'll hear you!" Edward trembled, but blearily, I could only listen.
"I don't want to die—!"
"We're not gonna die, I told you! Stop saying that. Just stop that now! We'll think of something. There's something, I'm sure! Don't talk about that anymore, you'll scare everyone—"
"What do you mean everyone?! We're the only ones left! We're gonna be next! I don't wanna end up like them! They're dead! They're dead and not coming back!
"Everyday. They taunt us everyday! A dead body dragged from here and they laugh! Devils, the lot of them! I wanna kill them! Make them bleed!" A raging wave. A ferocious storm.
" I'm gonna die…We're all gonna die in here…but how come they're not fighting…"
And the forlorn whisper that followed. "No one knows we're here…No one's going to find us. We're not gonna be saved…"
"I know. I know, okay? I'm scared, too! But what's the point of worrying about that now?! We have to believe, okay? We have to…" But he, too, was shaking. "My father will save us. He'll come."
The silent cry. And the painful, lonely rage—
What was that? The buzzing in my ears—!
My body, it began vibrating. And I felt the earth roll. What was this inside me? What was—
The shadow that fell over me.
"Oy. Get up." A rough hand. And my body abruptly ripped away from Edward's clutching arms. "You must be special, boy. Doc says there was a reaction last time. He wants you again."
A scuffle. And I felt the urgent tugging. "You can't! He''s not ready! Please! Please, I beg of you. Just take me instead—!"
A sharp pivot. And Edward's painful groan.
"Don't touch me, filth! Just shut your mouth and thank your incompatible body!" A strike. And Edward's hand collapsed against me.
"Oho? What's this look? You wanna kill me?" A chuckle. "Go ahead. Since Doc isn't interested, he won't care if I kill you right here and now."
A harsh breath. And a heavy, turbid silence.
"Good boy. Just sit there and wait." A cruel kick. "Ah! Is it because you're brothers? I see the two of you share quite the stubborn streak. But rejoice. If he dies, you'll inherit everything, right? I heard about this waste. Isn't it better for you if he dies? I'll be sure to give you his finger for identification purposes later!"
The laughter faded. And I was left dangling from a hard shoulder; his armaments digging into my stomach; my face continuously ramming into his back as he walked.
Disoriented. Dizzy. I felt the world was spinning. But I was still burning. And the buzzing had only grown louder—
My body thunked onto the chair; that wretched smell of disinfenctant and blood permeating all around me.
Again. Again. Again and again and again—
He poked me. Prodded me. Struck me. And sucked the very life out of me.
What was he doing? What was he trying to do? But I didn't care. Truly. Because it wasn't interesting—
Immortality, he told me. Over and over, he told me. The celestials. The saints. He wanted me closer to the Divine.
To be privy to their secrets? He's sacrifice anything! Everything! He'd willingly give up all life—
To be welcomed by the very Heavens, of course someone had to die!
But that someone wouldn't be him.
My arm was taken. And the cuts began.
His syrum had to be perfected, he told me. They still needed to figure out what made some boys susceptible and why others were incompatible…
That wing. They couldn't understand it. It seemed sentient even though the veins were dead.
"However," he said with his flapping lips bursting with spit, "with this syrum, we've finally found it! The way to attach it. The way to assimilate it! We just need a compatible body! You understand, right? You are going to be the first! The first of your kind!"
Manic laughter. And a high pitched scream. That scream, was it me?
"You'll be my most successful creation!" His fist rose. "A Celestial! An Immortal!" Then fell. "No one can stop me. Not even the Heavens!" His voice cracked. "I won't stop. I won't. My daughter's wish…"
But my ears were ringing. And my mouth was foaming. It was too dark! It was too cold and filthy! Help…Help me!
Was I reaching—
Certainly, I felt like my roots were stretching but my heart was restrained by my chest and my skin was rubbed raw by iron.
I forgot my name. I forgot the pain. I even forgot my body—
Where was I again?
And, just like that—
I died.