The day of our picnic date arrived; happiness is visible in the eyes. The laughter that echoed in our house. The excitement from each other's actions is noticeable, no hint of hesitation.
It has been four consecutive days, when that dreams occur. Leaving me stuck, not able to move forward. The same lingering feelings after I woke up. Making everything feels so real.
Scaring me, as I slowly forgot which are my reality
We check everything Mom's prepare, certain that everything's well-packed. I walk Infront of the whole-body mirror in our living room. I spin, three hundred sixty degrees. Checking my outfit for the day's agenda.
I wore a white fitted-spaghetti top, revealing my slimmed shoulder. Partnered with a long black skirt with high thigh slit, showing a glimpse of my porcelain long legs. My blond wavy hair that reaches my waist. With a white silver flat sandal.
I saw my parents behind me in the mirror. I turn my back to face them. Dad was showering mom with kisses. I immediately run and jump on them, ruining their momentum. They hurriedly hold me, afraid that I might fall down.
"Amara!" My mother exclaimed in a warning voice, telling me to stop.
I laugh with her reaction. I saw Anna and brother Alex behind.
They were smiling from ear to ear, excited just as I am. We walk together in our car. When we hop in, Mom turns her head, checking us. I am glad to be gifted with such family. I was blessed to receive such gift from Him.
I felt the overwhelming ecstasy, I wish everything would stay like this, forever.
"I see, my Princess are really excited, huh" I look at Mom in the rear-view mirror and smiled widely. She shifted her eyes to Anna who was reading her book. She was sitting between me and Alex.
"Are you comfortable there, baby?" She asked. Anna answer with a simple nod and stick her face back in between the books she was reading.
I was enjoying the outside scenery. When a teasing voice wreaked the perfect moment. I turn my head and frown in him.
"How was the feeling of being outside after being grounded for four days" He asked with a smirk in his face. Sorry but I mastered the art of mockery. I answered him with a smiled "How's the feeling after being rejected?" I asked in playful tune, turning the table.
"Tsk" He flicked his tongue as he tucked his head back, showing a sign of discourtesy. I can't help but smirk in the time of victory.
*Mentally dancing
I stick my eyes in the outside view. After an hour, we have arrived at our destination and the moment, my foot landed in the ground. I immediately took a pictures. Yes, plural. I will make sure to capture everything.
I nodded my head, supporting my desire, and run towards the entrance and the moment I entered. A beautiful field welcome my eyes. There's a lot of bubble all over place and children running and playing around.
I took my phone and capture its beauty.
"Hey! help us out" I look at brother. They just entered so I walk back to help them with our things.
Dad chooses the place under a big tree. Mom prepares the blanket while Anna and I were taking the food out. I look at her face, she was seriously fixing our food.
After preparing everything. I sit next to Anna; we look at each other and smile. She leans on me, and we watch this magnificent view Infront.
"Do you like it?" I asked
I felt Brother sitting behind my back, so I lean towards him.
"Yeah, this is amazing"
A shuttered sounds took our attention and when we look at where it came from. Dad is holding a camera; we smiled so he took another shot. We even ask a couple of teenagers to take us some family picture.
"It's been a while since we have a family bonding like this" Mom said happily.
She was right. Ever since Alex attend college it becomes harder for us to be complete. Dad has been really busy because of works and Mom taking good care of Anna.
As for me, I spend more time with my friends.
"Amara, there's a vendor just before the entrance, right?" I look at Anna
"Wanna look around?" She smiled and nodded excitedly.
We tell Mom and Dad before going there. Alex looks around alone.
There's a lot of people here. The smell of food is tempting me. It smells better than Mom's food but of course that's a secret. Anna held my hand and pull me on the right corner.
"Twisted potato" we said in unison, made us look at each other. I giggle, she turns back her gazed and I smiled while looking at her, she was watching the woman excitedly as she makes the twisted potato.
"We'll take two" I said.
While waiting for our order, I saw Alex walking towards us with tree cups of fries. He gives us the other two. He buys another twisted potato and pays everything. While walking a souvenir shop caught my eyes.
"Let's look at that shop"
I am looking at their items. There's a lot of things to choose, it's harder than I thought. Which one should I buy? hmm.
I took a bracelet with an ocean like colors. It's so beautiful, I think Kaye will love this. I choose the pink for Marylle and Yellow for leah. While waiting at the counter, I roamed my eyes to find Brother Alex and Anna.
I saw brother surrounded by girls, but I can't see Anna.
"Four sixty, Ma'am" I smiled at the cashier and pay. I didn't bother to take my change as I immediately look at every corner of the shop. When I failed to see her, I immediately approach Alex.
"Where's Anna" I asked.
He looks at me, confused. before looking around. When he didn't see her, we walk outside the store.
"Anna?!"
We are shouting her name desperately. This place is too far from our home and frankly it's my first time too. I don't think Anna would know any better than me.
"ANNA?!" I shouted.
When I look Infront, I finally saw her at the side of the road buying a cotton candy. I felt a sense of relief, I wouldn't know what to do if we failed to find her.
"There she is Brother" We walked towards her and just when we're about to reach her. A little kid run in the middle of the road to get her balloon after it flew. A ten-wheeler truck is too fast to stop in time.
People started to scream. We look at each other before running towards Anna. I run as fast as I could.
My body froze and my skin turn pale. I started shivering when I saw Anna run to save the girl. After the truck hit her, Brother Alex started to shout as he goes near the body.
I can't hear anything…
It's my fault…
If I didn't ask them to go in the store…
If I look at her instead of looking at those damn thing…
If only…
The moment I reach them. A pain strikes my very core, stopping every air in my body. She was soaking in her own blood, lying in Alex arm. Her face isn't recognizable. Alex started shouting, asking for help. While I stood there, unable to process the circumstances. My body was cold, and my sight are blurring. Slowly eaten by darkness.
***
I hear a buzzing sound and voices lurking around.
But
I can't open my eyes.
What happened?
Anna
That's right she was hit by a truck I need to take her to the hospital.
"ANNA!"
Ï felt an armed wrapped around me. I push his body a little, brother Alex eyes are swollen. I look around again and that's when I realize we are at the hospital. I started crying loud and hard.
"A-A-Ale-x, A-Anna w-where is s-she" I asked with my trembling voice. He answered me with a hug but that wasn't enough.
I need to know….
It was my fault
"It was my fault, if I didn't ask you to go in the store. If- If I didn't t-take my eyes off of her. If-if I look at h-her p-properly. If I"
"It wasn't anyone fault, okay? It's not your fault" He cupped my face and make me look at his eyes.
"Mom and Dad is still waiting at the emergency room. Anna is brave, strong, and healthy. She will be okay. Let's trust her, okay? okay?" We hug each other. I can't stop crying.
I push him a little and look at his eyes.
"C-Can we w-wait for her too?" He nodded immediately and guided me to stand while slowly going near the ER. Mom's cry is started echoing. I started crying too.
"M-Mom, D-Dad"
Mom still crying while Dad hugs her. When we reach them, we hug each other and cry harder.
An hour had passed but no Doctors came out. No one has the power to talk; everyone is in deep sorrow. Dad was putting a front, trying to be braved for our family. Mom's is about to collapse, crying out loud. Alex is on the floor, sitting with his hand pressed together and eyes shutly closed.
I prayed, begging and pleasing. To save the light of our home, asking to not let our happiness go. Earlier, I was expressing my love from this family and now, I caused an accident that almost destroyed our foundation.
God, creator of everything. I have committed multiple sin in my life. I've never prayed this hard before. Please, let her see the beauty of this world. If you really need someone, take me instead. Please, don't take her away too early.
My parents aren't ready yet. She was our baby…
Just take me instead….
After four hours the Doctor finally come out of the room. He took his mask before looking at us.
"Mrs and Mr, your daughter is a fighter. After two cardiac arrest she still survived. We can't say when she will wake up but as of now, she is no longer in danger."
"Thank, God" Mom said and started crying again.
Despite the successful operation. Anna is still in the ICU for monitoring. Mom and I stayed in the hospital to watch over her. Alex is the one going back and forth in the house. While Dad is forced to go to work, but he goes straight here after.
Our family is in awe of collapsing.
Right now, only Mom and I are here. We are sitting in the chair in front of the ICU. I look at her, she is not crying anymore but no expression is visible since that day. I hold her hand
"Mom, I'm sorry. If I didn't ask them to go to the store this wouldn't happen."
She finally looks at me. She squeezed my hand and kiss it.
I can no longer stop it. My tears started to fall again. I hug her and she hugged me back.
"Sorry, Mommy this is all my fault"
She cares my back with her trembling hands and plants small kisses on the top of my head
"No, princess it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself, I am your mother and all of you are my responsibility. This is all my fault because I let this happened"
Her voice is trembling and yet it was so sweet. I hug her tightly and feel her warmth. Her hands are giving me comfort and reassurance. Her embrace is making me feel better. But the truth is I know how much she was hurt.
She still worries about me when her heart is deeply wounded. It makes me wants to blame myself more. For the past few days we spent in the hospital, my mother's smile totally vanishes into the thin air.
As I slowly become comfortable in the warmth of her embrace. I felt the darkness totally consuming my conscience.
How I wish it was me and not my baby sister…
WHEN I opened my eyes. I was shocked to see that I was in a room. Did Dad put me in bed? but this isn't my room. The structure is way different from our house. I stood up and look around.
I just realize that I am now wearing different clothes. It was a chemise, when did I ever own one? I stood up only to feel intense headache. I hold my head as a buzzing sound echoed in my ears with voices that filled with pain and misery, images come rushing like an open faucet.
"Amara?! princess? what's happening? open your eyes, baby pls"
"Mommy can no longer take another pain. pls my baby. p-p-pl-please o-open y-your e-eyes"
The image of my body wrapped in a tight embrace. Her body was shaking; her face is a messed. She was crying, shouting, and constantly begging for me....
For me to wake up....
"Mommy!" how can.... how can I wake up. Did I die? why? they were crying, she was crying... I have to ease her pain... I have to wipe her tears... I h-h-have to... She needs me...
"ARGHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Your wish is to be granted; your voice is heard. To live is to die, her life in exchange of yours. There is no such thing as free in this world, accept it and do not cry, my child "
As my body accepted the flow of pain that crept inside me like a vein of thorns. My chest tightens, my body shivered. A surge of fear consumed me whole. I saw myself trapped inside a dark room without a door nor a window, giving no hope for escape.
I am alone.... I'm so lonely...
Mommy... Daddy... Brother Alex... Anna...
An hour passed and the clock never stop. With no energy left I force to stand, wipe my tears. I decided to go outside, and I saw multiple doors. I walk following the hallway and found a stairs.
When I walk my way down, I've seen a lot of people there. They all look at me with shock and confused visible in their eyes. Why are they looking at me like that?
"Aurea, what are you doing here with only your chemise."
Aurea?
That voice, it sounds exactly like the girl in my dreams. I turn my head to look at her. I was surprised, unable to utter a single word. A girl walking in my direction, wearing a blue gown with her long-silvered hair drop down, reaching bellow her buttocks.
A perfect small face like a princess in some sort of fairy tale.
She took my hands and pull me back to the room where I was sleeping. Upon entering, she hurriedly took a long dress, it was a simple white dress with a hint of yellow shades.
"Hey, who are you calling Aurea?" I asked while she was fixing the back of my dress.
After doing it, she faced me and look at me intently with her ocean blue eyes. She was so beautiful like a tulips flower who doesn't need to strive to impress anyone. It doesn't struggle to be different from a rose.
It was a quote; I saw on the internet….
Ah, right…
"Who is Aurea?" She frowned upon hearing my questions. Her eyes didn't hide her emotion; she was confused and upset.
She sighs before answering me.
"You, you are Aurea and what are you saying right now? You have to fix yourself because we have a lot of works to do"
works?
Slowly, realization was inevitable. I look around me, everything is unfamiliar. If what I saw earlier was true, then I was dead. Did I got reincarnated? I look at my hands to see my skin pale as a paper. My fingers are too slim
"Do you have a mirror?" I ask her calmly. She guided me on the room, Infront of the room where we are. I touch my face and brush my hair.
My used to be mid-length wavy blond hair, I inherited to my father. It was gone; there is no traces of my original face. I now have a wavy raven hair that reaches my knee, it was soft and healthy. a white porcelain skin that glimmer under the lights. An hourglass body, that I am sure, I don't have
A beauty beyond my own imagination.
What the hell happening?! it's not just a typical reincarnation. Did I enter someone's body??