"I used to… Especially with the negative comments and sentiments when a rumour or gossips break out during my earlier career. Over time, I tone it down with more solid quality of work, and then the marriage… Then, the divorce destroyed it all… I guess it's just a matter of time for this anxiety downfall to reprise." Sebastian explained as Violet understood that feeling. Their gazes met as she gave him a sad smile, wanting to encourage him to stay strong instead she found herself thinking back about her baby.
"Sorry, it was probably a jump scare for you…" Violet apologised while rubbing her stomach.
"We had protection on Vi…" He reminded her of their passionate night together as she could not help but continue to smile weakly, struggling to make it feel like there was nothing to worry about.
If only… It's yours… But that would be another set of problems… Violet thought to herself as she closed her eyes.
"Everything will be alright… We are all here to help you get through this." He comforted her as she nodded and opened her teary eyes.
She realised she was staying strong in front of Sam to not worry him, but with Sebastian, she was dangerously vulnerable.
"You did well, too. Very well. You're only going to get better. There's a lot of work for you to do upcoming, and I promise I will be there to help you out, alright?" Violet tried pushing her sadness away with her cracking voice, remembering Sebastian needed her comfort, but it only broke Sebastian's heart more to see her that way.
Her coaxing somehow found its way to convince Sebastian as he hugged her tightly. "It's alright, Vi. It's going to be fine…" Sebastian comforted as Violet forced herself not to break down as she held him tighter.
"Thank you… Thank you for recovering…" Violet smiled, letting him go after a moment as he gently patted her head, trying to ease his heart pain seeing her trying not to care about her feelings, but his instead.
"Must be hard for you to always fit in the vision your agency wants you to?" She questioned as he looked away. Her question did indeed add salt to his open wound.
She held his hands in hers, noticing his grimaces.
"Believe in Sam. I have seen him fighting for his artists before… You just need to do your best." She tried convincing him as he forced himself to nod, noticing she had successfully ignored her own sadness. He knew it would be bad if she carried on, and he certainly did not want her to end up like him.
"Have you been better? Does it still hurt? If you feel like crying, I can always accompany you…" He asked worriedly in a weak voice as she smiled and shook her head.
"I thought of giving up everything over these last few days ago especially last night… I don't know if it's just a passing thought. Maybe postpartum depression or something, I have no idea, but it's all over when you get into trouble. You made me realise just how far I have fought my way to freedom. I would be stupid to just die like that, and most importantly, what's my trouble compared to yours?" She questioned sadly as Sebastian's eyes reddened.
"Vi… Are you…" Sebastian got worried and guilty at the same time, realising how busy he was with Sam that Sam would have felt the same if he knew.
"I'm fine. I'm really fine, but of course, it's a miscarriage. Occasionally, I just couldn't help it with the tears and missing the baby all… But yours is different. If someone keeps harming you, then it gets harder to recover each time…" Violet once again touched a vulnerable side of his wound as he let out a shaky breath.
"She has been pestering me to know your identity. Sam has been trying hard to protect us both. I felt very bad for him and you. I should never drag you both into this… I just…" Sebastian was lost for words as he broke down.
"It will all be over, Sebby… These last few months, do your best to leave a lasting memory. To make it worth your sacrifices for fame all this while…" She passed him a stress ball she had brought in her bag since her last HR job.
It helped her to release her stress at the end of a hectic and tiring day, but now she did not need it much like she did in the past. It was time for it to find a new owner.
"Here, if you ever feel like your anxiety is overwhelming, just grip onto this tightly. I will change it from time to time so that you can kill it." Violet said, which made Sebastian laugh unexpectedly amidst his tears.
"Did you also kill it back then?" He asked while gripping it tightly and releasing it. She nodded.
"Thank you, Vi…" Sebastian said sincerely as he hugged her tightly.
"Promise me you will make good use of the remaining time in the agency to find yourself again?" Violet asked as he nodded.
"Would you do the same? To find the meaning of living for yourself again?" He asked as she nodded. They both shared a comforting smile, knowing that by being at each other's side, that was enough to be each of their refuge.
Before they could continue their conversation, they heard a loud commotion from his front door. He knew it was Janice from her yelling as his dark, gloomy look returned when he quickly dragged Violet into his room and brought in her belongings. Violet was very worried as she held his hand, not wanting to let go.
"I need to talk it out with her at some point." He assured her as he gently patted her hand amidst the banging. He could hear Sam reprimanding Janice as he quickly locked his room and ran to the main door.
"Hey! You're disturbing the peace of the neighbours here!" Sam scolded, but Janice ignored him.
She only stopped wailing when Sebastian opened the door. Sebastian sighed as he waved at Sam and nodded at him to signal that he would handle her.
"You sure?" Sam called out as Sebastian nodded solemnly.
"Are you alright? I saw the…" Janice held his hand only to be flung off by him the moment Sam closed the door.
"How many times have we gone through this? You want to talk? You talk here! Now! What is it you want?! Haven't I made myself clear? Do you want a restraining order to make this clearer?!" Sebastian was extremely angry cause he was getting tired of her temper and harassment.
"I don't want to divorce! I have said many times! Why are you forcing me?!" She retaliated.
"Why are you forcing me to stay when you don't give a damn?! Where were you every night when I was exhausted, wanting to see a glimpse of you or just to hold you to sleep?! What audacity do you have to force me to stay?!" Sebastian yelled at the top of his voice, which made Janice break down in tears on the ground.
"I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry, Seb! Can we get back to how we used to be? I cannot live without you! I'm sorry, Seb!" A long-awaited apology made Sebastian swallow hard on the lump in his throat cause he knew it was too late.
It no longer made him feel anything except pity for her.
Sam and Violet heard them loud and clear. They both felt bad for them both. They both were divorcees themselves, and they were counting their blessings for no such dramas. Sam reached out to the security guards to stand by first, from his experience.
"It's too late… Live a good life, Jan," He said calmly as he blinked away his tears.
"No… I don't want us to end! I want to…" Janice was reaching out for his hand as she stood, only to be interrupted by his sharp words digging into her like a dagger.
"I don't love you anymore, Jan… It's gone… Live your life for yourself from now on." Sebastian said before slamming the door in her face as she banged on the door and made a mess.
Just then, the security guards arrived and brought her away.
Sam was waiting for the lift to head down before opening the door, while Violet was waiting for a knock at the door to open up, as she had no idea if Janice had left. However, both impulsively opened up the door when they heard a smash of glass from Sebastian's house.
"Sebby!" Violet called out urgently as Sam punched in the pin code to Sebastian's door hurriedly. Sam could see Janice's protest during the last moment the lift door closed, and thanked the heavens for his quick-witted actions earlier.
When Sebastian's main door opened up, he found Violet by Sebastian's side as he broke down in front of the smashed glass. Sam closed the door behind him and headed to comfort Sebastian, while Violet could only stay by his side and empathised with his predicament.