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Naruto tore across the desert on a rusted old bicycle, a cloud of sand billowing behind him. He swerved past a merchant caravan, narrowly avoiding a collision, his blonde hair whipping in the wind.
A figure zipped by in a blur.
"Trouble…"
Whoosh! The figure doubled back and appeared beside him again.
"Just wanted to ask…"
The merchants in the caravan stared, their faces covered in black lines, as Naruto kept circling them on his bicycle like a particularly annoying sandstorm. In moments, they were caked in dust.
"Where… the hell… am I?" Naruto panted, gripping the handlebars like his life depended on it.
Boom!
He crashed into a dune, flipping over the handlebars and landing face-first in the sand. He groaned. "Damn thing doesn't even have brakes!"
"Ughhh…" A muffled voice groaned beneath him.
Naruto scrambled up, brushing sand from his face, only to find a merchant half-buried beneath the wreckage. The man spat out a mouthful of dirt and glared at him.
"This is the Land of Wind," the merchant grumbled. "Shouldn't you know that?"
Naruto frowned, his mind swirling with fragmented memories—Tsunade, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, the Third Hokage, countless faces flashing through his thoughts. A sense of disorientation hit him hard.
"System?" he muttered, his eyes narrowing.
**Ding-dong!**
*Because the host mistakenly entered the Dragon Vein and prematurely accessed the Lost Tower anomaly, the only condition for exiting this timeline is the death of the individual who absorbed the space-time seal. If the host dies within this timeline, the system will forcibly return him to his predetermined point in history. However, prolonged memory exposure has led to temporary cognitive confusion.*
Naruto shook his head violently. "How long has it been since I fought the Akatsuki?"
**Ding-dong! One hour.**
He exhaled in relief. "Alright then."
With a quick nod to the still-dust-covered merchant, Naruto hopped back on his bike and shot off into the distance.
The traveler sighed, pointing lazily in the direction of Konoha, bidding farewell to the insane blonde.
---
Elsewhere, Kiba Inuzuka wiped a hand across his face, already irritated.
"I got this!" He snarled, snapping Akamaru's claw in midair.
"Now, Akamaru!" Kiba shouted.
"Woof!" Akamaru leaped into the air.
"Hah! Cheap tricks!" Sound Ninja sneered, his speed surging under the influence of his curse mark. He rocketed toward Kiba, fist clenched.
Boom!
The punch connected, sending Kiba skidding back, blood spewing from his mouth. He gritted his teeth, locking onto his enemy. "Gotcha!"
Akamaru twisted in midair, performing an impossible spin.
Then he pissed.
Golden arcs of liquid sprayed down onto Sound Ninja's head.
Sound Ninja froze. His eye twitched. "…You little sh—"
"Are you insane?!" he screamed, violently shaking off the filth. "You're actually using piss as a weapon?!"
Kiba smirked. "Now, Akamaru!"
Akamaru landed on Kiba's back, fur standing on end. "Inuzuka Style: Man-Beast Transformation—Two-Headed Wolf!"
A massive, jet-black two-headed wolf materialized where Kiba and Akamaru had stood. Drool dripped from one of its jaws.
"Oi! Akamaru, stop drooling!" the other head scolded.
Akamaru turned his snout and spat a wad of saliva onto the other head.
"BASTARD!"
Sound Ninja looked on in absolute disgust. "You two are the dumbest mutts I've ever seen."
"Let's see if you're still laughing after this!" Kiba growled. The wolf spun at insane speeds. "Fang Over Fang!"
The spinning beast drilled straight through Sound Ninja's chest, slicing him in half. Blood splattered the sand.
Kiba skidded to a halt, panting. "How's that? Fang Over Fang is so fast, even my own vision can't keep up with it! That's how—"
He stopped, then suddenly retched to the side. "—how stupidly fast it is…"
A gurgle from behind him made his stomach drop.
Sound Ninja's two halves wriggled and reattached. His skin hardened, forming an armor-like carapace.
"Hmph," he smirked. "We wanted to separate anyway."
"You two… can split?!" Kiba gawked.
"Damn it," he muttered. "One more time! We'll tear 'em both up! Fang Over Fang!"
The two-headed wolf spun again, a howling blur of destruction.
Sound Ninja clapped his hands together. "Summoning Jutsu! Rashomon!"
Boom! A massive demonic gate erupted from the ground, standing between them.
Kiba slammed into it.
Boom!
A gaping hole tore through Rashomon, but before Kiba could react, Sound Ninja and his clone vaulted over the gate, diving toward him.
In a flash, the transformation dispersed, leaving Kiba and Akamaru vulnerable.
"Akamaru!"
Akamaru spun midair, delivering a ferocious kick. The impact sent Sound Ninja soaring backward.
Kiba blinked. "Wait… you kicked him?"
Akamaru barked.
"…What?"
"Woof!"
Kiba rubbed his temples. "You want me to translate?"
Akamaru nodded, then turned to the enemy. "Woof woof!"
Kiba sighed. "He says: 'You two dumbasses. How dare you attack my personal poop scooper!'"
"WHO THE HELL IS YOUR POOP SCOOPER?!" Kiba exploded.
Akamaru barked again.
Kiba groaned. "Fine… He also says: 'I'll show you bastards the power of the King of Dogs!'"
Sound Ninja lunged toward Akamaru in rage. "Damn you, you filthy mutt!"
Akamaru let out an earth-shaking roar.
His body expanded, growing larger than before. His white fur darkened into a deep obsidian. A third head sprouted from his shoulders.
A hellhound.
With one swipe of his paw, Sound Ninja was sent flying.
The left and right heads opened their jaws. One spat out searing flames, the other a freezing gust of wind.
Sound Ninja's body ignited and froze simultaneously. His screams echoed across the battlefield before his ashes scattered in the wind.
His partner, still hiding, panicked. "No… no way…!"
With a last-ditch effort, he activated his bloodline ability, merging into Akamaru's flesh. "You can't stop me! Once I'm inside your body, I'll destroy you from within!"
Akamaru stared.
His third head grinned.
"Hellfire."
Black flames erupted from Akamaru's body.
Screams of agony filled the air. The parasite within him burned away into nothingness.
Akamaru exhaled.
Kiba, still stunned, whispered, "The villain… really did die because he talked too much."
Akamaru panted. "Damn right."
Kiba flinched. Then his eyes bulged. "YOU CAN TALK?!"
Akamaru wagged his tail. "Took you long enough to notice, dumbass."
----
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