Holli gathered in the infirmary with the three other mages, Mr Loewe, his wife, and Adan. Adan was mostly on standby after giving her patient a poppy tincture. They'd managed to get some poppies in. The three mages were discussing among themselves the best way to keep both Holli and Mr Loewe safe. At least he was quite drugged out; it shouldn't hurt as much, or he wouldn't remember it at least.
The man himself had been nervous but excited. He was pleased with the progress that had been made, and it had fuelled his hope of a complete recovery. Holli was eager to get on with it. She was burning with the curiosity to see if she could, especially now that she knew it was something no one else had accomplished before. At least, that anyone knew of.
"All right, my dear," Dorian said, clapping his hands and coming to stand beside her. "We're going to try this. One hand on Mr Loewe here while you heal, and the other hand in mine."
"What will that do?"
"I'll be using my own magic to hold back any barriers you might create, intended or not. If that doesn't work, then the hope is I'll be placed inside your barrier and will be able to snap you out of it physically. Or maybe jolt you out of it with a bit of lightning."
Holli looked to Solas and Vivienne.
"After some research we've found a few spells we can try to disrupt your magic if need be," Solas told her. "We're confident at least one of them will work."
"More than confident," Vivienne assured.
"Ok. So, can I start?"
"At your leisure," Dorian told her, offering his hand.
Holli took it, holding it down by her side as she stepped closer to Mr Loewe. He was already lying on his stomach so Holli could rest her hand on his back.
The edges of her reality started to blur, narrowing down to that damage she had been sent here to repair, or for most of it, clear away and regrow. And then she sank deeper, to that place where she understood things without needing to think them. Where everything just worked the way she wanted it to. Her breathing was slow and steady, and it felt as if the world – which may have consisted entirely of Mr Loewe right now – breathed with her.
But there was something else on the edges – Dorian, she realised. Don't lose focus.
Dorian watched her work – from the outside it didn't look like much. But he could feel her magic and a deep sense of connection to both her and Mr Loewe. Her magic seemed to have dragged him into this process somehow. There was an uncomfortable sensation as both his breathing and his heartbeat shifted, the pattern changing to match hers. And her patients, it seemed.
He monitored her closely, Solas and Vivienne hovering nearby, ever vigilant. It was uncanny how still Holli was. He'd been part of many a ritual in his time, some rather prolonged, but none invoked this kind of stillness. And while they did require an intense focus, what was etched into Holli's face went well beyond it.
It was rather awe-inducing what she was capable of. Solas had, of course, filled him in on her origins and her lack of magical education before he'd started it. There was many a magister who would no doubt love to get their hands on her. Turn her into a useful puppet to elevate their own status. Rifts and healing miracles at their command.
Despite the poppy tincture the man had been given, the pain was starting to get to him. And the amount of magic pouring off of Holli increased as her focus did. He'd caught the tail end of it at her first attempt, but this was staggering.
Mr Loewe started to feel more of that pain, groans and spasms coming from him. That seemed to trigger something in her as her magic started to create that barrier from last time. It was protecting her from interruption – perhaps she thought they would stop her over her patient's discomfort. The way it happened, it truly did feel as if her magic was acting without her conscious thought. Given how much of her focus was on healing, there was a high chance.
He forced his own power into action, holding that barrier back. Her magic was still going strong, her well of it hardly depleted. Her magic was fighting him, which was going to deplete her faster. This wouldn't do. She shouldn't be wasting her energy on fighting him when her magic should be focused on her patient. Dorian stopped fighting her, instead opting to alter its path a little to include him within it. He felt it wash over him, a warm sort of protection, the kind of cosiness he often found in the library, resting upon the sun-drenched chaise with a good book and a glass of wine.
He was accustomed to magic being something harder, more aggressive. Even its protection came with sharp edges and blunt force. But that was how magisters tended to see magic: a weapon to be utilised. Holli used hers for fun and healing more than anything else. He'd seen her juggle fireballs, make the braziers alight with different coloured flames, and create rainbows in the mist.
Honestly, he liked the way she used it. That wasn't to say he couldn't see the use in the more practical applications, but it was nice to see the whimsy.
His own magical education had consisted of strict adherence to the rules and severe punishments for failing that. And given he'd spent most of his time with people of similar backgrounds and upbringings, their magic had the same sort of force to it. Solas's magic also felt quite different from his experiences – there was a tranquillity and peace to it; it didn't have the same sharp edges. And then there was Vivienne; there was a natural ice to her magic and a sense of superiority that so reminded him of her.
Mr Loewe's groans had escalated to near full wails of agony. Holli wasn't completely drained yet, though.
"Perhaps we should call a stop here," Vivienne suggested. "Before half the castle comes to investigate."
"Shorter bursts of healing might be best for everyone," Adan agreed.
Mr Loewe's recovery after the first bout had been lengthy.
Dorian squeezed Holli's hand. "Holli, it's time to stop now."
He hadn't expected it to work; she had truly sunk down into some kind of trance. But on the off chance it did...
"Break the connection to Mr Loewe," Solas told him.
Dorian took a step back, pulling Holli with him. It did break the contact she had but seemed to cause her problems. Her magic instantly dissipated, and she dropped to the ground, looking disoriented. All right, perhaps that had not been the most gentle way to go about it.
He crouched down in front of her, Vivienne and Solas crowding around while Adan checked over the patient.
"Holli?" Dorian said softly, her glazed eyes meeting his. "So sorry about that, darling. Are you all right?"
She nodded, but she looked a little addled. All that magic with suddenly nowhere to go.
"Let's get you off the floor, hmm?" He stood up, taking her hand with him and pulling her up.
He helped her into a nearby chair. Her blinks were amusingly slow. Solas checked her over and made sure she was suffering from nothing more than mild magical backlash.
"She should be all right in an hour or so," Solas said. "Come and lie down, Holli."
She obediently obeyed, more compliant than they were accustomed to seeing her. While she did tend to do as she was told, oft times there was a bit of an attitude or a look thrown their way.
She climbed onto the bed and lay down, her eyes slipping closed.
"We need a gentler way to do this," Solas said.
Ideally she would be able to heal without slipping into this trance and stop before reaching her limits. There was something about this kind of injury that seemed to draw her deeper. It was something that would take time, experimentation, and research.
-
Holli lingered a couple of metres away from the horse as she watched Cole pat the giant beast. He had a gentle smile on his face as he ran his fingers over the creature's neck. He was slowly becoming more expressive, without looking so wooden. It was nice.
He looked at her then, an expectant look. She shook her head, taking a step back. She wasn't going near the horse.
"Stop being a coward, Holli," Hawke called from where he was saddling his own horse.
Holli shot him a dirty look. She had come out early, much to her own disgust, to try and prepare herself for being near the horses. She had not been the first one here, unfortunately. When she felt a hand close over her own, she turned back to see Cole was now in front of her.
"I'll hold your hand the whole time," he assured her.
She didn't see how that would stop the horse from eating her, or kicking her, or trampling her.
"She's peaceful and mellow," Cole told her.
"Can you hear horse thoughts too?" She asked.
Cole shook his head. "They don't have thoughts like we have thoughts. But she is peace and calm. Horsemaster Dennet said she would be best for us."
Despite holding her hand and clearly wanting her to go and meet the bloody horse, Cole didn't lead or try and persuade. He just waited until she was ready to make that first step towards it. Which she appreciated. He really was sweet. And cute. Squash that down before he got wind of it. She knew he wouldn't make fun of her for it like her friends back home or other classmates who might hear, but still, best not to leave herself exposed like that. And if he asked questions or said something in front of the others, depending on who it was, they would be merciless.
It was stupid to develop a crush on someone who might not even be capable of feeling the same. It was just a crush. It would pass.
With a steadying breath, she took a hesitant step closer to the horse.
"Her name is Sunchaser," Cole told her softly.
"Sunchaser's a cool name," she mumbled.
Holli inched her way closer to the mount, true to his word Cole held her hand the entire time. Even as she was standing right beside Sunchaser, he didn't let go. He did start patting her though, and the horse did seem ok with it. Finally she bit the bullet and reached up with her empty hand to touch the horse. It was harder than she had thought it would be – but then, it was all muscle underneath her fur. She was smooth though, and she didn't flinch or seem annoyed under Holli's touch.
While Holli liked animals, she'd never had much to do with them. She'd never had a pet of her own; with her home, it just wasn't a good idea. She did pat Yvette's cat sometimes when she was there, but that was it.
"Do you think we'll be all right, riding together?"
Neither one of them had much – any – experience on a horse.
"I think so, on Sunchaser. And Cassandra gave me a lesson yesterday. I still remember."
Yesterday? Must have been while she was in the infirmary with the mages.
"Thanks for riding with me, Cole," she said.
The thought of not being on it alone really did help.
"As long as you need me to," he told her.
Ugh, her stomach actually flipped. How embarrassing. She could feel her cheeks getting warm as well. He said sweeter things without meaning to than her boyfriend had ever managed.
She quickly looked back at the horse, focusing on the hand doing the patting.
"Should I try and climb up or just wait until it's time to go?" Holli asked.
"You decide."
Holli let out a breath. "Guess I should do it now, while there's only Hawke to see me make a dick of myself."
Ugh, but Hawke was such a smart arse.
"Do you want me to get on first?" Cole asked.
"Yes please," she mumbled, embarrassed at the admission.
Cole let go of her hand and effortlessly climbed up onto Sunchaser. Christ, he was graceful, but it was something she had noticed with him and Sera both. Incredibly smooth movements and super nimble. Especially in battle.
"Do you want to sit behind me or in front of me?" He asked, looking down at her.
Jesus, he looked a long way up. She wasn't afraid of heights, but being high up on a creature who could decide to throw her off or bolt at any minute was a different story entirely.
There was a pommel on the front of the saddle she could hold onto; she imagined if she sat on the back, she would be holding him in a death grip the entire time. That probably wouldn't be comfortable for him, and she got the feeling he would be too nice to say so.
"Front", she replied.
One of the stablehands – a boy about their age – brought over a stool she could use to climb on. Trying to get on the front definitely made it more awkward to get up. But she managed to settle in front of him, holding onto the pommel. It was high up. And to hold the reins, Cole had to have his arms either side of her. Maybe the front hadn't been a good idea. Being this close to him, being pressed against him, she could smell him; it was nice, leather and something else, something totally unidentifiable to her but pleasant.
They were up so high, and she could feel the movements of the horse – her breathing, her tail flicking. It all reminded her they weren't safe.
She closed her eyes and tried to breathe the anxiety away. Cole was here; he had the reins. He wouldn't let anything happen to them.
"We're going to walk now," Cole told her, and she nodded.
She felt him move, and Sunchaser started walking, just a casual pace. It had still sort of startled Holli, and she gripped the pommel on the saddle with her hands, and her legs tightened around the horse.
"Relax, Holli; the horse can feel your anxiety," Hawke said, watching from his perch on the stable gate.
He didn't sound like he was trying to be a jerk, more like he was trying to soothe or encourage.
"Telling someone to relax doesn't actually help them relax," she shot back, harsher than she'd intended. "Sorry," she tacked on. She wasn't trying to be bitchy. "I think there might be something wrong with the saddle. It's not very comfortable."
Hawke laughed. "It's something you have to adjust to. Probably doesn't help that there's two of you in it."
"Sorry, Cole. If it's too uncomfortable for you-"
"It isn't."
She shifted so she could look back at him, but whether he was just being nice or truly meant it, she couldn't tell. Either way, she was grateful. She didn't want to be up here on her own.