Leaving the coin laundromat, Sasha confidently led the way, following a maid soliciting customers on the main street. We arrived at a 60-pyeong (about 2000 sq ft) maid café near Chuo-dori.
Opening the cutely decorated café door, we were greeted by waitresses in maid outfits, their bright smiles straight out of TV or photos.
"Welcome home, Master!"
"Oh, I've always wanted to hear that line," Sasha said, delighted.
"…"
It's been over two years since I transmigrated into this body, but this was my first time at a maid café. Even digging through Kim Yuseong's memories confirmed he'd never been either. As a scrawny middle schooler hyper-aware of others' gazes, he probably lacked the courage to step into one alone. At most, he'd sneak glances from afar when visiting Akihabara.
Honestly, I wasn't much different. The unfamiliar subculture gave me a visceral discomfort. Without Sasha's insistence, I might've never come here in my life.
As we stood at the entrance, unsure what to do, a maid cleaning a recently vacated table approached and asked me kindly, "Is this your first time at our main branch, Master?"
Intimidated by the café's alien vibe, I answered nervously, "Uh, yeah."
"Then I'll give you a quick rundown. The base entry fee for Machi Asobi☆Maid Akihabara Main Branch is 800 yen. Each table gets a dedicated maid to serve you. You can choose a random maid or nominate one, though nomination incurs an extra fee. Touching the maids is strictly prohibited, as is taking photos inside. If you'd like a Polaroid with your maid, please ask at the counter."
Her rapid-fire explanation was flawless, not a single word slurred—a sign of seasoned expertise.
The black-haired maid then led us to a sunny window-side table. "Here's the nomination list and the menu. When you're ready to order, ring the bell on the table to call a maid. Enjoy your time, Master."
Utterly professional. Despite her frilly miniskirt maid outfit, her perfect explanation and demeanor screamed work ethic.
As I marveled internally, Sasha, chin propped on her hand, was curiously scanning the nomination list—a thin folder filled with profile photos of the café's maids.
"Can I pick whoever I want?" she asked.
Since she was footing the bill, I shrugged. "Do whatever."
I flipped open the menu to order something. "…Expensive."
The prices on the first page made me blurt it out. The menu listed common items like omurice and pancakes, but the prices were absurdly high. Even with service included, 1500 yen for omurice? Was it made with golden eggs?
As the son of a diner family, I couldn't accept it, but skipping food after coming this far felt awkward. I ordered an omurice and an orange juice—2000 yen total, nearly half my weekly allowance. With the entry fee, it was no small sum. If I were paying, I'd be choking.
"I'm done picking. What about you?" Sasha asked.
"Whatever's fine."
"Then I'll get the same."
To Sasha, who'd casually handed over a million yen as payment earlier, this amount was clearly trivial. She studied the nomination list intently, then gracefully rang the table's bell. Her elegance practically screamed "high-class upbringing"—refined in a way different from, say, the student council president.
"Yes~ Did you call, Master?" The black-haired maid returned, her voice warm.
Sasha pointed to a photo on the nomination list. "Please call Hyoneko, the cat maid."
"Yes~ Understood~"
Cat maid? I doubted my ears, but the maid nodded, took the nomination list, and turned to me. "Have you decided on your food or drinks, Master?"
"Uh, two omurices and two orange juices."
"Yes~ Understood~"
Never losing her smile, the black-haired maid briskly headed to the kitchen. Only after she disappeared could I relax into my chair. Ordering felt exhausting.
An hour ago, I was brawling with burly Russian machos on the street, and now I'm sweating in a maid café for the first time. Anyone hearing this would think I was joking.
As we waited, Sasha, curiously scanning the café, suddenly asked, "First time at a maid café?"
"Yeah."
"Really? I thought Japanese people came here all the time."
"That's a stereotype. Normal people don't… probably."
I glanced around. Surprisingly, there were nearby salarymen and groups of women, suggesting maid cafés weren't just for otaku.
Soon, the maid Sasha nominated approached, carrying a tray with two orange juices. Spotting her, Sasha smiled and crossed her model-like legs.
"Hello, Master! Thank you for nominating me today, nya! I'm Hyoneko, the famous cat maid of Machi Asobi☆Maid, nya!"
The short-haired brunette maid, sporting cat-ear headbands, beamed naturally.
"…"
The cringe hit like a temporal distortion. I thought I'd adjusted to otaku culture, but this was too much—like throwing a middle school math student into a college-level problem.
As I gripped my thighs, resisting the urge to flee, Sasha nodded calmly. "What can we ask a nominated maid to do?"
Hyoneko waved her hands animatedly. "First, I can draw on your food when it arrives, nya! Or we can play board games together, nya! Lastly, it's a bit pricey, but if you request a song, I can sing live on stage, nya!"
"Sing?" Sasha's eyes lit up at the last part.
Pulling a stack of blue bills from her handbag, she placed it on the table. "How much to have her sing for 30 minutes?"
"W-Wait, I'll check with the manager—er, please wait, nya!" Startled by the cash, Hyoneko forgot her cat persona and scurried off.
Sasha sipped her orange juice and smirked devilishly. "Now it's getting fun."
Is she a demon?
Hyoneko's impromptu live performance began. A familiar anime song echoed through the café. Sasha, recognizing it, hummed along.
Since Hyoneko was busy singing, the black-haired maid from earlier served our omurice in her place. "Your omurice is here, Master."
"Oh."
Despite my gripes about the 1500-yen price, it looked surprisingly legit, with a generous portion for an adult male. I probably wouldn't need to order more.
"Shall I cut it for you?"
After getting our nod, the professional maid sliced the omelet atop the rice. The egg parted, cascading over the rice like a waterfall. She then drew a cute cat shape with ketchup.
"Thanks," I said, picking up a spoon.
"Wait, Master. We're not done yet." Stopping me, she made a heart with her hands. "Follow me."
No way.
"Get delicious~ Get delicious~ Moe moe kyun♥"
"…"
Faced with the crisis of a lifetime, my face froze.