The computer screen glared back at me, that cursed headline sitting in bold font:
"Only the Desperate Awaken: A Study of Soul Weapon Manifestation."
I stared at it for a long time.
The mouse hovered over the title like my finger was hovering over a self-destruct button.
What could happen anyway? Let's see it first.
Sigh.
Click.
The article opened with a quote:
"When your soul bleeds, and your will burns brighter than fear itself… that's when your weapon answers."
—Ascendant Soul Wielder, Aiden Rook (Year 4021)
Cool. That sounded… safe? Umm....
I kept reading.
________________________________________
[Excerpt from 'Only the Desperate Awaken' by Professor Glint
Soul Weapons are manifestations of one's deepest will—a crystallization of soul energy when pushed beyond mortal limits.
They are not taught, earned, or forged through practice. They are awakened through:
• A near-death or life-altering experience
• Overwhelming emotional surge (grief, rage, protectiveness, despair, joy)
• Unyielding resolve in the face of absolute powerlessness
• The heart must be free of second thoughts
I reread the last two points and evaluated myself.
"Huuuh…the first two are kinda my daily life now?" I cracked my knuckles.
I know myself best, so I know as a fact 'unyielding resolve' is not my cup of tea... I succumb to failure too easily.
As for 'no second thoughts' that's also not possible for me, who's a fickle minded, overthinking girl.
I scrolled down to continue reading.
Fully awakened Soul Weapons are extremely rare. Less than 1% of Soul Core wielders ever awaken one in full bloom. Most of the people, usually get stuck in the pre-natal stage of awakening.
Weapons can take any shape—swords, chains, bows, fans, even creatures. They reflect their wielder's psyche and instincts.
There are four known stages of Soul Weapon mastery:
1. Pre-natal Soul – The raw first awakening. Shape not fully formed.
2. Soul Embers – The soul weapon fully blooms but is unstable and powerful.
3. Soul Flame – A forged bond, refined with training and synchronization.
4. Soul Eclipse – Mythical. No records of public mastery exist.
The manifestation of a Soul Weapon increases a tamer's bond strength, enhances elf abilities, and can allow soul-fusion attacks, where the weapon channels the elf's energy directly.
________________________________________
Okay. This was huge. I took out my note book and made a summary of what I understood.
"Soooo….the thing is, common people awakens their soul core. A big incident can make them to bring out their inner feelings in the form of Pre-natal Soul which is actually a type of fetus form of Soul weapons…..and unyielding resolve with no second thoughts can finally give birth to Soul weapons and that's the Soul Ember stage…"
Damn. That's a lot of information. It took a lot of my brain data consumption.
But
But.
Ultimately, I have to be on the brink of collapse just to unlock one?
Fantastic. Really looking forward to enjoy the trauma that comes with bonus upgrades.
I kept scrolling.
________________________________________
Historical Awakeners of Xyloria:
1. Aiden Rook – The Meteor Blade
• Weapon: A black meteor-forged sword that grew stronger with every loss.
• Story: Awakened during a military siege when his entire platoon was wiped out. Fought alone for two days.
• Status: Deceased.
2. Maribel Dawn – The Ribbon Dancer
• Weapon: Silk ribbons that became elemental whips.
• Story: Kidnappers broke into her home. Protected her brother at age 12.
• Status: Living.
3. Varn Tusk – Hammer of Hollow Depths
• Weapon: Gravity-infused war hammer.
• Story: Fell into a dungeon ravine and broke both legs. Dragged himself out fighting monsters.
• Status: Missing.
4. Elira Sion – Soul Bow of Starlight
• Weapon: Bow that shot soul energy arrows.
• Story: Elf died in battle. Awakened her weapon in grief.
• Status: Retired.
5. Lyric Mors – The Laughing Fans
• Weapon: Twin fans that cast illusionary duplicates.
• Emotion: Euphoria.
• Story: Reached perfect joy dancing alongside her fire-fox elf in battle.
• Status: Touring performer.
________________________________________
I leaned back in my library seat, hand trembling just a little.
Each of them had suffered. Or burned so brightly they caught fire inside.
In the novel, they may have just served as cool side characters with stylish weapons and epic one-liners. Many readers may have just skimmed through it and didn't know their stories [ I'm talking about myself too].
But now? Now it felt different.
A burning sense of something…something is rising within me as I read through.
Because I knew what kind of world, I'd landed in.
And I also knew background characters didn't get happy endings.
A sudden thought suddenly came to my mind. I opened another tab and typed: "Youngest Soul Weapon Wielder in Ardio"
Many news headlines came up in result.
I clicked on the one that seemed to be the most formal one, Times of Ardio.
Six.
Only six people were recorded out of the God knows how many people living in this country.
I scrolled to see the first result.
"Ivan Ryers – Soul Ember Awakening at age 14."
Of course. Of course it was him.
________________________________________
Ivan Ryers
• School: Elementary Ardio Academy
• Soul Core: Gold, Peak
• Elf Bond: None
• Soul Weapon: Lightning Bastion (dual-blade form, phase-shifting)
• Stage: Soul Ember
• Incident: Awakened during a solo rescue attempt in the Dungeon Calamity of Ardio. Trapped under rubble, fought an A-class rift beast during a thunderstorm. Witnesses reported a lightning surge that cleaved the beast in half.
"Damn….the author gave him a thick plot. Hmm. Very thick."
And – Of course, he got the glowing dual swords and a thunderstorm awakening. I bet he got his own bgm too.
A Soul Weapon... I wanted one.
Not for glory.
For survival.
To protect.
To fight back.
But not if it meant reliving everything.
Not if it cost me everything again.
I clicked back to the previous tab. I scrolled back down to the case of Lyric Mors.
Joy.
She awakened through joy.
It was possible? Even just a chance?
The thought cracked something inside me—a hairline fracture in the concrete wall I'd poured around hope.
Maybe I didn't need an incident like Lane 5 again. Maybe I didn't need to scream in a collapsing world.
Maybe—
No. Who was I kidding?
I couldn't dance. I couldn't even breathe right most days.
I didn't have an elf. I didn't have joy. I had fear soaked in dried-up grief and office burnout.
Still…
What would my weapon even be?
A rusted clock hand? A broken mug?
A paper-cutter from some corporate hell?
Or would it come from now?
From the split-second scream of "I want to live" inside a novel?
A blade? A shield? A scream?
What if my soul didn't want to fight?
________________________________________
I want a Soul Weapon.
The thought came uninvited, but it stayed. Loud. Hungry.
I wanted one so badly my chest ached.
To protect my family.
To prove I existed in this world.
But not at the cost of my sanity.
"If despair is the price," I whispered to the laptop, "I don't want it."
I shoved the chair back, heart thudding against my ribs.
I needed to move. To clear my head.
Not think about glowing swords or Ivan's brooding glare.
I was halfway through closing the pc. I crossed the current tab and then the image of Ivan came up in the next open tab.
"Oh my~ he's handsome, right?"
A voice, syrupy and smug, directly behind my ear.
I jumped so hard I nearly yeeted my chair into the next row.
"Silvia!!!" I hissed, heart skipping a beat. "Don't sneak up on me like that! I have trauma reflexes!"
She blinked innocently. "What? I saw you ogling Ivan Ryers's profile like he was a pastry you couldn't afford."
"I was researching," I snapped. "Very seriously. For academic purposes."
Silvia leaned over the screen. "Sure. And next you'll tell me his abs were also for academic analysis?"
"Where is it visible??," I muttered zooming on the picture given in the site. "Look! Where?!"
"But brainrot," she said, mock-wise, "you knew they were there."
I pressed F4 in self-defense. "This is bullying."
"Call it what it is—community support?"
"What the hell are you talking huh? Weed?", I groaned and grabbed my bag. "Let's go before you traumatize me into awakening a Soul Weapon."
Silvia looped her arm through mine as we walked out of the library.
"Oh please. If anyone's manifesting a soul weapon, it's me," she said proudly. "I've had to deal with you all week."
I gave her a sideways look. "And what would your soul weapon be? A megaphone?"
She smirked. "No. A fan. To blow away the haters. And dramatically fix my hair during battles."
"I take it back. You deserve the weapon. And a spotlight."
She winked. "I'll let you borrow it when you catch up to my fabulous level."
We stepped out into the courtyard, the clouds thinning just a little.
Behind me, the library lights flickered off.
Inside me, something flickered on.