"How could Yukinoshita possibly be that kind of woman?"
Hikigaya quickly distanced himself from Hoshino Ai.
"I already told you, she was clearly joking with you."
"Fufufu, Hikigaya-kun~ Let me tell you something. When two girls are really close, it's not that strange for them to share their man, you know? Maybe Yukino actually wants to share you."
"No way! Yukinoshita would never do something like that!"
Hikigaya's voice was firm and resolute.
"Hikigaya-kun~"
Ai gave him a longing look, her voice dripping with sugar.
"Don't tell me… you really don't feel even a little tempted? What if both Yukino and I… stayed with you for the night?"
"Huh?! N-No! Of course not!"
His eyes darted away, and he replied with all the seriousness he could muster.
"Hoshino-san, I'd appreciate it if you stopped messing with me."
"Fufufu, but I could hear your heart skip a beat~"
"You have great hearing, huh."
Ai kept closing in, and Hikigaya kept backing away, feeling utterly trapped.
Come on, Yukinoshita…
Where are you?!
You said you were going to the bathroom, how could it take this long!?
You didn't fall in or something, did you!?
Just as Hikigaya was inwardly despairing, his phone rang.
"I—I need to take this."
"Sure," Ai replied, finally giving him some space.
Hikigaya let out a huge sigh of relief as he quickly checked the screen.
It was Yukinoshita.
"Who is it?" Ai asked curiously.
"It's… Yukinoshita."
"Yukino?"
Ai blinked in surprise. "Then why do you look like you're about to cry? Hurry and answer it."
Hikigaya sighed and picked up the call. If Yukino were here in person, he might have been happy to see her—but getting a call from her right now filled him with dread. Something felt off.
"Hello, Yukinoshita?"
"H-Hello, Hikigaya-kun~"
"You're done, right? I'm here with Hoshino-san, we're at—"
Just as he was about to tell her their location, Yukino cut him off.
"Hikigaya-kun, wait. Y-You guys keep walking around a bit, okay? I… I might take a little longer."
"Eh?"
Sensing something strange in her voice, Hikigaya grew concerned.
"Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?"
"Mm… it's that time of the month…" Yukino's voice was full of embarrassment.
"That time of the month…?"
"You idiot, Hikigaya-kun! I mean that thing all girls go through every month!" Yukino pouted over the phone.
"Oh."
A few seconds later, Hikigaya's face turned beet red as the realization hit him.
"What's up?" Ai peeked over, curious. "Is Yukino okay?"
Hey, hey, hey—don't lean in so close! Our bodies are touching!
"Ai-chan, it's just… I started my period today, so I probably won't be able to walk around the mall with you like I'd planned," Yukino said apologetically. "You'll have to make do with my boyfriend for a while."
"Oh, I see."
"Sorry…"
"No worries, no worries," Ai said, grinning uncontrollably. "Are you feeling alright? Do you want me and Hikigaya-kun to come to you?"
"I just need to rest a little… mm, but after you finish shopping, could you bring me some pads?" Yukino asked, a bit bashful.
"No problem. I'll have Hikigaya-kun pick out a pack for you," Ai giggled.
"Hikigaya-kun's going to choose them…?"
"Wearing pads picked by your boyfriend must make the cramps feel a little better, right?" Ai teased, grinning at Yukino's shy reply.
"Uuugh… okay then. Hikigaya-kun, I'm… I'm counting on you," Yukino said, flustered.
"Eh…?"
Hikigaya, who'd hoped to blend into the background, now looked like he was facing a firing squad.
But he had no choice.
"…Right. Got it."
"Oh, and there's one more important thing," Yukino added before he could hang up.
Hikigaya: "What is it?"
"Please make sure to take good care of… Ai. While I'm not there, listen to whatever she says," Yukino said seriously.
"Huh?!"
Hikigaya's eyes widened in disbelief.
"You—"
"Yukino, how can that be?" Ai cut in before Hikigaya could argue. "He's your boyfriend. I can't just take that kind of privilege…"
"It's fine. I trust you, Ai," Yukino said warmly. "If it's you… I don't mind."
"Hold on!"
Hikigaya finally couldn't take it anymore.
"Yukinoshita, I'm your boyfriend, you know! You're seriously just handing me over to Hoshino-san like that?!"
"Is there a problem?"
"Star Idol Hoshino-san, she—" Hikigaya glanced over at Ai's radiant smile. "What if she asks something really extreme, something I can't say no to, and I—"
"She won't. I believe in Ai. She's not like that."
"You can't judge a book by its cover, Yukinoshita…"
"Ai would never do that kind of thing. Hikigaya-kun, that's enough. Just be good and stay with Ai, okay? It'd be best if you pretended to be her boyfriend too. That way, people won't recognize her."
"Huh?!"
Hikigaya was speechless.
"Pretend to be her boyfriend—are you insane?!"
"She's an idol, remember? It'd be bad if she got recognized. Hikigaya-kun… please just do it, okay? Hngh… I… it really hurts… Hikigaya-kun…"
"You—ugh, fine. I get it."
Hearing his girlfriend's painful whimpering, Hikigaya sighed and gave in.
"Yukino…" Ai could no longer hold back and said emotionally, "You're amazing. I want to be your best friend. I want us to be soul sisters for life!"
"It feels like I've known you forever, Ai…"
The two girls talked like long-lost sisters, exchanging sweet words for a minute or two.
Hikigaya stood off to the side, scalp tingling with unease.
Finally, they finished their heartfelt moment.
Ai smiled as she handed Hikigaya's phone back.
"Hikigaya-kun, you heard what Yukino said, right? Starting now, I get to be your girlfriend. That means you have to listen to me now, hubby~~"
"Y-You—" That honeyed voice sent shivers down Hikigaya's spine.
"Come on, honey~ Say it. Say 'wifey~'"
"No."
"You're ignoring Yukino's request? Come on~ Say it~"
"…W-Wifey…"
With his face burning red, Hikigaya reluctantly muttered the word.
He was Yukinoshita's boyfriend, and here he was calling another girl "wifey." This felt so wrong.
Meanwhile, neither Hikigaya nor Ai noticed the mature beauty in a kimono quietly watching them from a short distance away.