Richard watched Summer with mild detachment as she sobbed into her palms. The alien wind howled around them, kicking up green dust. He crouched next to her, voice even. "Summer. Making mistakes isn't wrong. It just means there's a lesson to learn."
Summer sniffled, glaring at him. "You never make mistakes. You're always perfect."
That gave him pause. He stared at the ground, green dust swirling like fog. He couldn't exactly tell her he was a borderline cosmic singularity with reality-bending intelligence, and that perfection was part of the design.
Instead, he sighed. "Don't compare yourself to anyone," he said. "Each one of us is unique. Well, " he gave a faint, crooked smile, "not really when you consider the multiverse. Statistically, there are infinite versions of you, most of them probably garbage."
Summer let out a snort that turned into an exhausted laugh. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "You're the worst therapist ever."
Richard stood, brushing off his coat. "Glad to help."
They turned back toward the ship. But halfway there, the ground quaked. Summer grabbed his arm. "What the—"
An enormous shadow fell over them.
Richard looked up, and up, and up.
A giant foot slammed into the dirt with a deafening boom, nearly knocking them off their feet. Richard's eyes went flat with dread. "Oh. Fuck me."
He slapped his wrist comm. "Jack! Get the ship to our location. Use the emergency repair bot if you have to!"
Jack's voice crackled in his ear. "Are you sure? That's a one-time activation—"
"JUST DO IT!"
Summer shrieked as the ground trembled again. "What the hell is that thing?!"
Richard was already pulling her back, eyes scanning the terrain. "This isn't just some planet," he barked. "It's a radioactive moon. That's not an alien, that's a human. Twenty feet tall."
Summer was hyperventilating. "WHAT?!"
He dragged her behind a rocky outcrop. "Listen. This used to be a normal moon until an asteroid crashed into it. Made it orbit another planet. Released a gas called P-360. You know what that does?"
Summer shook her head wildly. "It's a psychotropic mutagen. Anyone who inhales it goes insane. Not just crazy, Homelander-crazy. And they get powers."
Summer blinked. "Homelander? Like the asshole superhero?"
"Yes, but twenty feet tall. Congratulations, Summer. We're on a moon full of giant superpowered psychos with nothing to lose."
The giant's head turned. Its eyes glowed like twin searchlights. Richard grabbed her arm tightly. "Fuck. He saw us."
Twin laser beams—three feet in diameter—shot from the giant's eyes, carving molten glass into the ground. Richard dove, dragging Summer with him as the beams shredded rocks behind them. He frantically dug through his coat. "Laser gun, laser gun, laser gun—"
Summer spotted something glinting in his pocket. "THIS?"
She yanked it out, aiming shakily. Richard yelled, "DON'T SHOOT THE GIANT! THAT's Not—"
But Summer didn't shoot him. Instead, she fired a portal in front of the lasers. The beams vanished into swirling blue and reappeared god-knows-where. Far away, on a small Earth-like planet, two people were picnicking.
"Ah, it's so peacefu—"
KRSSSSSSHHHHHHH!
The entire planet split in half.
[Back on the moon]
The portal closed. Richard gawked at her. Summer panted. "There! What now?!"
Richard grabbed the portal gun from her, clicked to activate a portal, only for it to fizzle. He looked up to see the giant's eyes flickering with psychic energy.
"Shit. He's intercepting the portal with his mind."
Summer's voice cracked. "WHAT DO WE DO?!"
Richard's eyes darted. His mind raced. Finally, he shoved the portal gun at her. "You want to survive? Get to the ship."
Summer grabbed it with trembling fingers. "What about you?!"
He unclipped the Life Codex chip from his neck. "GO!"
She hesitated. Richard's eyes went cold. "GO NOW!"
She turned and ran, tears flying from her eyes. Richard watched her disappear into the swirling green dust. He swallowed hard. There was a pulse. He grew. Bones stretched. The muscle inflated. His coat ripped at the seams. Richard stood as tall as the giant, eyes level with its glowing gaze. The giant snarled, exposing jagged teeth. Richard cracked his knuckles.
"Let's dance."
They charged. Punches like meteor strikes. Craters formed where they fought. The giant roared, eyes blazing. Richard grunted as the lasers burned his arm. He swung a massive fist and caved in the giant's jaw.
The mutant staggered, spitting teeth. Richard bellowed, "I'm not from here, you dumb roided-up toddler!"
He twisted the giant's arm, snapping it like a tree branch. Summer, far away, fumbled into the ship. Jack's voice rang in her ears. "Welcome back. Where's Richard?"
She sobbed. "Just—fly. Fly to him. NOW."
"Affirmative."
The ship roared to life, jets screaming. Richard, panting, felt the gas eating at the edge of his mind. Kill. Destroy. Conquer. He shook his head. No. He saw the ship approach, engines blazing. He ripped the Life Codex backup from his belt and slammed it into his chest. Instantly, he shrank, the world tilting around him as he fell.
Wind roared in his ears. He hit the ship hard enough to dent the hull. Summer screamed at the controls. Richard rolled onto the floor, gasping.
"GO!"
She pulled the yoke. The ship rocketed up, green dust spiraling behind them. Below them, the giant roared impotently, firing lasers at the sky. They broke the atmosphere, stars blinking into view. Summer sobbed with relief. Richard lay on the floor, arms spread. He looked up at her. "You learned how to drive."
Summer let out a wet laugh, sniffling. "Shut up."