Summary:
Run super fast and don't look back!
"I'm so glad you're safe!" Moon hugged her children. "I'm also terribly disappointed by you deciding to join us. We didn't even explicitly tell you not to come!" She was sure she got around the children's desire to disobey her.
"Well for one, we were trying to help Tom get back home, the moment we noticed the portals were down we realized something funny was going on." Steven justified. "And two, even without that, we would've come to Mewni again eventually. It's still our former home."
"Not to mention we got done handling the homeworld threat, so there was no way we were going to back away from this." Star added.
"Honestly I thought that alone would have motivated you to take a break for once." Eclispa deadpanned.
"Well I tried to get Steven to back away, but he's too kindheartedly stubborn for that." Star rubbed her brother's head.
"You would have done the same." He laughed as he rubbed his sister's hair into a mess. "So, what do we actually know about the Solarian Warriors? Marco was lucky enough to buy us until whenever that rooster crows."
"Yeah, and with our luck, that's only going to be an hour at best." Kelly muttered.
"Solarian Warriors were a work in progress event Solaria made to fight monsters." Garnet said from the wall, constantly adjusting their glasses. "Armor that can withstand mountain destroying blows, swords that can kill all they so much as nick, and warriors fueled with an invincible and maddening magic that will drive them to do anything as long as they're motivated."
"They were the peak of my mother's will to kill off all Monsters." Eclipsa continued on. "Solaria wasn't as good at magic as the rest of the queens, but like Skywane, she was gifted with the creation of magical artifacts and devices. When I took over the throne the first time, one of my first orders was to scatter as much of her work to the depth of the abyss to never return from, so that no one could even come close to replicating the damage she inflicted onto Mewni ever again."
"What I don't understand is how." Moon spoke. "She doesn't have anyone with magic to create the solarian transformation."
"And the device Solaria made that allowed it was sealed away in Rose's armory." Pearl added on. "And that place is a fortress that was locked up so tightly no one, no matter how desperate, would be able to access it."
"...The what in the where now?" Steven's eyes widened in shock and horror.
"Solaria wanted her work to carry on into the future as much as possible, so she crafted an artifact to duplicate the success she had with Mina." Eclipsa kept going. "When I got my hands on it, I gave it to Rose for safe keeping."
"No….no….no NO NO NO NO!" Steven's eyes filled up with tears as he feel to the ground. "I….I gave it to him."
"What are you talking about Steven?" Jana asked her soon.
"Omnitraxus….when the Red Eye came to earth, he was there when I was needed to take the laser light cannon…he let me take it in exchange for something else in the armory." Steven cried as Moon did her best to comfort her son in a hug.
"… Yikes." Amethyst muttered.
"What is it with past mistakes coming to haunt us lately!?" Star shouted with exasperation. "Who in their right minds causes this many-" Everyone older than twenty coughed at the same time. "Right, sorry."
"It doesn't matter how Mina created her army, what matters is that she's terrorizing innocent Monsters and Mewmans alike." River announced. "What we need are weaknesses."
"They have none." Garnet Told them bluntly. "The spell that empowers them can only be broken by the will of the one they follow."
"And since they've all pledged loyalty to Mina, who pledged loyalty to Solaria…" Kelly growled.
"We essentially need a dead person who was likely even more fanatic to talk her out of it …" Marco muttered. "Steven, I know Lars was in a bit of an existential crisis, but do you think if we found Solaria's bones you could…"
"...There's no body." Eclipsa spoke up. "She wanted to be cremated and scattered across as many monster villages as possible, a sort of last threat." Moon truly underestimated just how messed up her family's history truly was.
"What about that spell the witch gang said you launched?" Amethyst asked. "The No name thing?"
"If I cast it more than once a day, Mewni is gone, along with everyone still living here." Eclipsa said dreadfully.
"What about Globgor?" Jana spoke up. "He's the prince of darkness, surely he can put up a figh…"
"He's been stabbed." Pearl answered. "As it is, he can barely move, and his state will only continue to get worse until he dies."
"Not if I can help it." River announced. "I know these woods like the back of my hand! I can sneak Globgor pass the guards and into the Magic Sanctuary for healing."
"And how many more …" Steven asked quietly. "How many people has she stabbed?"
"… Q-fly." Ponyhead spoke up, having been mostly silent. "It's in the triple digits …" She said solemnly.
"We've managed to keep most of our wounded and the rest of the citizens secured at Ludo's castle, but it's being surrounded just like we are." Moon explained further.
"We can't fight them, we can't run from them …" Star muttered. "What can we do?"
"Lock them in a cage … that was the plan from the start." Moon answered with tears of her own. "You kids aren't responsible for what our people have done … you shouldn't be dragged into this."
"You shouldn't be suffering for these mistakes either!" Steven cried as he squeezed her harder. "No one deserves to suffer like this … no one … why … why..?"
"Shh…it's alright sweetie…you don't have to be strong around me." She cooed her son. "We're all together now…I know that's not much…"
"No mom." Star joined in on the hug. "It's what I want more than anything in the universe."
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Rhombulus chomped down on an apple. "This is pretty good." He noted. "You grow these yourself?"
"Actually, yes, thank you for noticing." Ludo was a surprisingly great conversationalist. He was never able to tell before with the short little man being so loud and obnoxious. "In the wild, I got pretty desperate for any kind of food, so when fish was in short supply, I resorted to growing my own crops."
"You treat them well." The man told him. "You're pretty talented when it comes to anything except stealing Star's wand."
"Fair enough. My options were surprisingly very open when I stopped focusing all my rage on one teenager."
"Hello!" The lizard known as Rasticore shouted. "Giant knights attacking the castle!" He pointed at the surrounding army.
"Oh right … just a sec." Rhombulus cracked his back, raising his hand … before enveloping the entire castle in Crystal. "Done."
"Did you just freeze everyone inside?" Rasticore looked at him skeptically
"Correction, I froze everyone outside." He corrected the lizard man. "Ultimate unbreakable barrier only I can get through. And even if they do, Steven really helped me learn about myself … along with Hekapoo learning we apparently haven't tapped into our full powers." The woman could now even jump through the realm of magic when she really tried.
"Yes, who would've guessed my greatest enemies would end up being some of my best allies?" Ludo chuckled as he bit into his apple. "One moment, you're dead set on ruling the universe and making your mortal enemies pay for their mockery, the next you're planting a garden while rebuilding your childhood home with them."
"Yeah, super crazy." Rhombulus agreed. "And the man you thought of as a brother went crazy after being hit with too much stress … I just hope he'll learn after a few years in his prison."
"That has to suck." Ludo sighed. "Families shouldn't fight themselves … You should work on their love … l can't tell you just how difficult it is for my siblings to get along with my parents."
"Your folks are here?" He asked.
"They're on vacation." The kappa shrugged. "Dennis hands me their post cards every now and then."
"That's more than Glosseryck ever gave me." Rhobulous rolled his one eye. "Always talking about being disappointed despite never telling us anything, he never even thanked me for giving him that head crystal he always wears."
"Geeze, that's gotta suck." The man nodded. "Maybe you need to spend some time in the void with him? That always cheers me up when I'm confused on what to do in life."
"Alone in a dimension of vast nothingness with nothing but my asshole dad…sounds like a recurring nightmare I can't get away from." Rhomblulous laughed as more and more of those dang Solaraians came, using those swords they always carried to bang at the crystal. "Hah, this ought to be fun to watch. Like looking at a baby playing with a toy ham-"
creak….creak….crack
The swords began chipping away at his crystal....they were capable of breaking his crystals… "OH SHIT, this is serious!" Rhombulus screamed as he focused all his energy at freezing the hands away from their weapons. "Put everyone in a dungeon or something, I'm going to fight these guys hard enough to start leveling the playing field."
"On it!" Ludo nodded as he hopped aboard a giant spider and headed inside.
"Are you actually capable of fighting these things?!" Rasticore shouted with panic. "I was a kid when these things first came, they seemed pretty unbeatable back then!"
"They may be the pinnacle of magical warfare …" He raised his hands. "But I'm the embodiment of it." Bring it on you old timers.
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River grabbed the wounded Globgor, hoisting him onto his back. "Girls, help strap him down, I don't want to rustle him too much, and I'll need my hands in case things get dangerous."
"On it." Jana nodded as Ponyhead brought out tons of gause. "Ugh, that's one nasty scar, on the plus side, pretty sure Eclipsa will appreciate it once you're all healed up. I know I would."
"Thanks for the comfort … never going to be able … to flex again though." The man laughed hollowly. "I can't see it … how far has the thing spread?"
"Not that far dude...just covering the entire right side of your pecs, abbs, legs…pretty much the entire right side in general." Ponyhead unsubtly broke the terrible news.
"Then it seems my heart remains unscathed." The man had the strength to joke, even in these trying times. "I can't thank you enough for… helping us through this hopeless situation."
"No need for thanks, you're a fellow dad doing everything he can to protect his family, that alone is worth helping out." River nodded jovially as he hoisted him up. "I won't let your baby girl grow up without her father when she just got him back."
"Oh…my darkest star…..I finally got the chance to see her crawl around….for just a brief second before everything went to hell…again." Glogor smiled in pain. "I just hope Star's taking good care of her … when we couldn't."
"Wait, but isn't B-" Jana nudged Ponyhead right in the snout before she could finish. Best to not have the man's mind filled with worry and doubt when death was this close. "Yeah, they're staying with Earth's Turds family, they have this baby that the little hellion can't separate themselves from."
"Not even…out of diapers…and she's already making friends outside her species…she's already better than me." Globgor coughed in pain.
"There there, save your breath." River chided, kicking down a fake wall. "We'll get you to a spot where you can heal those wounds right up." They went down the dark tunnel. "Keep quiet, we don't know if they'll be able to hear us." He told the girls.
"Right, right, right…don't want to alert the giant crazy metal men trying to dissect and brutalize everything with a face right now." Pony whispered in panic. "Oh corn, oh corn, oh corn, everyone's about to die and there's still so much I needed to do! I never finalized my plans to spread Saint O's party lifestyle across dimensions and have one built in each universe! So many girls like me will never know what it's like to truly party without restraint!"
"Don't worry Pony, on the off chance we survive, I'll help you spread it to earth. And on the off chance we die, the underworld." Jana reassured her. "I'm pretty confident I can bargain with enough eldritch beings into giving us a comfrey afterlife.
"Oh come on." They quieted down as they heard a soldier complain. "How much longer do we have to wait? I wanna kill some monsters."
"You heard Mina, you have to wait until the rooster caws."
"But I wanna beat them up now …" Well it seemed they were more childish when they weren't wearing their armor.
"Well you could try beating up Mina and Jasper if you think you have a shot at it." The group went silent for a bit.
"A few more hours never bothered anyone."
"Scary or not, idiots with power are still idiots." Jana whispered.
"Hey, who are you calling an idiot?"
"I didn't say anything."
"You're the only girl here though … is someone hiding?"
"Okay girls, now it's time for a quick crash course lesson in camouflage." River gathered as much mud as possible and drowned themselves in it. "If you fail the lesson, we all die. No pressure."
"Ugh…I almost want to go back to the crazy purple headed psycho." Pony Head grumbled as they placed leaves over them. Things weren't exactly looking the brightest, but he had faith his family would come up with something. They always did.
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Steven sighed. "It's over …" He gave up talking to these psychos a long time ago, but they couldn't outfight them, and any universe they put these guys in, they'd somehow bust out eventually with their immortality. "You wanna know the worst part?"
"What, that this is the culmination of so many bad mistakes, both old and new?" Star sarcastically said.
"No, we could've had the Diamonds help us this time, since they all can destroy and counter magic easily." He countered. "But yeah, your point seems more valid than mine."
"Well, the Diamond's aren't exactly…friendly with us, just you." Kelly reminded him. "And if you did ask for help, they'd probably take it as a sign to stick by your side twenty-four seven."
"My comfort and personal space seems like a small price to pay to prevent omnicide." Steven groaned as he laid down on the ground. "I wanted to save Beach Creek and I doomed Mewni because I gave Mina the key to succeeding... I'm sorry guys …"
"Hey, it's like your mom said, it's not your fault." Kelly reassured him with a hug.
"Yeah … technically it's a bit of everyone's fault in some way, shape, and form." Marco tried to make him feel better. "We're all just as guilty."
"How are you guilty?" Star pointed out. "You're human, you wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for us barging into your life."
"I put Mina in the Neverzone and gave her over a thousand years of time to plan out her next action."
"Oh yeah, that really sucks, like she wasn't unbeatable already." Kelly snorted. "I was there when you went to grab that cannon, I could've tried to caution you about making shady deals with ominous space people.
"Believe it or not, Chad was the rational one that day." Steven remembered. Too bad the guy still really, really sucked.
"And we all know how guilty I am." Star grumbled. "I practically worshiped Mina like a god, I followed her blind and ignorant hatred of monsters for so long, and I only put everyone in danger when I tried to help her on that first day with the dumpster donuts."
"You kid's are way too hard on yourselves." Mom came up to him and Star and placed her hands on their shoulders. "I certainly did more than my fair share of damage. I let my stubbornness and hatred of Monster's only fuel Mina's rhetoric, and I did nothing to stop her even when she showed signs of delusion and insanity."
"And I really, really thought about killing her when I had the chance back in my day." Eclipsa raised her hand up guiltily. "But even if I disagreed with her, she was the last remnant of my mother that I had…and I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"So yeah, we all feel guilty and bad, but let's not forget to blame the real villain here Steven." Star looked at him. "Mina's still a crazy psycho and Omni's a hypocritical moron. They'd probably still do something terrible with or without you."
Everyone turned their heads as the chicken crow was heard. Their time was up. "She's coming." Marco announced as they head thumping against the wall, with it becoming more and more violent with each second. "We really don't have a plan now, do we?"
"No tricks up our sleeves, no backdoors, no hidden bunkers to hide out in." Mom wiped away a tear as everyone began huddling up. "This is it … I'm sorry for everything."
"I'm sorry it escalated when we finally got peace …" Star sighed, giving Mom a hug.
"I'm sorry for not taking my responsibilities more seriously…if I had, maybe there would've been a chance at avoiding all of this." Eclipsa hung her head low.
"Hey, this is probably our last few seconds alive, let's not be sad during it." Kelly grabbed his hand and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm glad I get to be here with the the people I love."
"... I guess this is it." The boy stood up. "If we're going down, we're doing it together." He took a step forward … and fell through the ground, now covered in mud. "How did I even mess up accepting death?"
"Huh.." Marco stirred as he looked upward, noting the big red circle above them closing up. "A portal, but all the portals.."
"Are controlled by me." Everyone turned to see Heckapoo waving at them with Meteora in her arms.
"Hekapoo?" Steven asked. "I thought the Commision was behind-"
"Wait just a moment." They turned to Eclipsa, staring with wide eyes. "I trusted Star to keep her safe … then Mina came in and everything was hectic … what happened in between them and there!?"
"Ah … Heckapoo is a surprisingly great babysitter?" Star lamely defended.
"Anyways, this whole thing is Omni's doing." Heckapoo carried on like she didn't hear the conversation, tickling Meteora as she did. "Me and Rhombulous locked him up, but Mina broke him out. Seeing as how things have gone to shit, I've been hiding out here." She pointed to… a large lake of mud.
"Huh, thought for sure your standards were higher than that." Marco muttered
"Just a sec." She walked over, looking at the ground. "Hey Ted, they're with me." The mud rumbled, before a door popped out of the ground, a tall man guarding it with a look of absolute intensity. "Welcome to the Tavern at the End of the Multiverse! You're welcome."
"The Multiverse has an end?" Kelly asked with bafflement.
"In the words of the guardian, everything with a beginning has an end." Steven recounted with an eyeroll.
"See, the diamond gets it." Heckapoo snorted. "A place for all walks of life to get away from magical crises and power hungry rulers…so about half of you are going to get dirty looks just fyi."
"Right off course. Just what we expected." Star rolled her eyes as they entered an elevator, going down and down until they entered a bar.
"There's the tavern, some tables, a pool table, and an arcade." Hekapoo listed off. "Oh, and the void of eternal nothingness." She gestured to a black wall.
A guy sighed as he stared at the wall. "My wife died to Mewmans … goodbye cruel world." He muttered, before jumping into itas he screamed.
"….Okay, I don't normally do this, but I don't want to be sober now." Mom sighed as she walked towards the bar.
"Care for a game of drunken Pool then?" Eclipsa asked.
"How are you so calm right now?" Mom asked.
"Right now is a Tuesday of the disaster known as my life." The Queen rolled her eyes. "I just learned to find positives … like you actually."
"Me?" Mom looked at the queen of darkness with confusion.
"Yes, to be honest I half expected you to be behind this rebellion because you don't trust me."
"That would imply that I'm so callous and ignorant that I'd gladly allow a genocidal maniac to harm my people and children over a grudge." Mom said, sounding offended. "No respecting or loving parent would ever do that to their family."
Steven sighed. "So, what do you guys wanna do while we try to live with the fact Mina's still going?"
"Finding the closest thing to getting drunk Mom will let me have." Star rolled her eyes.
"In a couple of dimensions, hot wings and soda have the same effect." Kelly suggested.
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The hot wings and soda weren't working, they just made Star's mouth really hot and fizzy as she drowned herself in ice cold milk. "Ahh! Why did we have to order the volcanic special!?"
"Eh, once you eat seven Carolina reapers in a row, anything else is just mild at best." Marco shrugged as he casually plopped the wings in his mouth.
"And after you try Mabel's candy dip … nothing is ever the same with sweets." Steven stared off into the distance as he took a sip of soda. "I swear, the amount of sugar she eats in one go is inhuman."
"This is ironic coming from you two." Marco rolled his eyes. "Considering your part gem, your diet might actually be irrelevant to your health as long as you can eat something and take in sunlight."
"He did go a full three days without eating in the neverzone when supplies were getting low and still was able to knock a tree down." Kelly reminisced as she shoved several wings covered in chili, sour cream, onions, and pretty much anything you'd find in a fridge right in her mouth.
"Is this what our lives have come to?" Star looked up into the sky. "Four kids who have saved entire planets and dimensions are now forced to hide at the edge of existence while we wait for Mewni to get totally creamed?"
"Well we don't have to wait here." Kelly said. "It's only Mewni that's quarantine, we can-"
"They have Omni." Steven brought up. "Who broke Rhombulus's crystal by bringing in another him … who's the say he can't do the same for Hekapoo?"
"Yep, a real no win situation." Heckapoo said as she listened from the background, drinking a five foot bottle of something Star desperately wished she could consume. "I honestly thought Rhombulous was the evil sibling this whole time. This is blindsiding me like you wouldn't believe."
Star gazed down at her drink, watching the soda ripple. Nothing was getting fixed, and the people in charge were either idiots or evil. "... Fuck magic."
There was a notable silence made clear as everyone stared at her. "Star, you can't possibly think .." Mom tried to say.
"No Mom, I mean it. I HATE magic!"
"Yeah, magic's the worst!" A monster next to her shouted.
"Just think about it for five seconds! Magic screwed up our entire family!" Star kept going. "Solaria, Festiva, Eclipsa, Rhina, in some way or form, everyone Butterfly's biggest mistakes are because magic was involved!"
"Yeah, the Butterflies are … the … worst …" A female monster trailed off, the entire bar just staring at them now.
"Magic doesn't save lives, it destroys them, just like it's destroying Mewni." Star huffed out.
"Star, we both know magic is not the problem, it's just a tool." Steven defended. "Prejudice is the problem."
"A tool that allows ignorant assholes to live forever and have the raw power to never let their horrible ideas die out as long as they live." She countered. "Magic is terrible and so are the people that use it." Star gripped her hands. "I just…I wish I could destroy it!
"Star! We're family because of magic!" Steven stopped her. "We met most of our friends because of magic! You can't just ruin it because a few people are using it wrong!" He pointed an accusatory finger at her. "How would that make you any different than Toffee!?"
Before she could find some kind of rebuttal, a cup of pudding was placed in front of her. "Compliments from the gentleman at the end of the bar."
They all glanced down at … a waving Glossaryck … great. "I need to go somewhere. Anyone else coming?"
"I'm gonna hang back." Marco told her. "About ninety percent of the bar hates Butterflies and you just shouted out your family name … oh, one guy's grabbing a chainsaw, fun." He said the last part sarcastically as he cracked his neck.
"I'll help him. I need to vent some stress after everything that happened." Kelly took out her sword and kissed her brother. "Don't be gone too long, sweetie."
"I won't." Steven blushed as he turned to her. "You know the last thing you need is to be alone with one magic jerk, so I'm coming too."
"I know." She trudged on with Steven to the blue jerk. "So, sitting here while the multiverse ends?"
"You're being dramatic … this cluster of universe has a good millenia or ten left."
"Oh good, glad that I learned that tidbit." Star grumbled. "What do you want, Glosseryck? Last thing I want is a lecture while the multiverse collapses."
"No, I'm here to do what I always do." He shrugged. "Guide and help the queens when needed."
"And let me guess." She rolled her eyes. "I'm 'in the wrong' with wanting to destroy magic?"
"Oh no, quite the opposite really. I'm here to tell you that you'll succeed." Glossaryck nodded.
"Succeed?" Steven looked skeptical. "Succeed at what?"
"Destroying magic. That's what this whole journey has been leading towards." Glossaryck answered.
"Wait, wait , what?!" Star gasped. "Slow down, you just unpacked a lot there."
"Okay." The blue man shrugged. "Des … troy … ing … mag-"
"Oh forget it, I'm going in!" Star ranted as she took one of Glossaryck's eyeballs and expanded it to where it was bigger and and wider than his body. "Hop in, Bro, this is going to get bumpy."
"Wait Star, this is a terrible ideaaaaa-" He shouted as the two of them fell into an infinite rainbow fueled nightmare of instant regret.