After settling into the town, Gregory and Devon led Ruby to a small, stone building on the edge of the village. A wooden sign that read Check-In swung lazily in the breeze, its faded letters barely visible. Ruby hesitated at the entrance, her unease only deepening. The building was old, made of rough stone that seemed weathered by centuries, with cracks running along the surface like veins. The inside flickered with candlelight, casting long shadows that made the place feel strangely oppressive despite its small size.
"Don't worry," Devin said in his calm, Obama-like voice, which Ruby had started to realize never seemed to change. "This is just a routine check-up for all new arrivals. We call it a 'Distoria check-up.' You're not the only one, trust me."
Devon leaned casually against the doorframe, giving Ruby a grin that was far too casual for the situation. "It's like your initiation. Everyone goes through it."
Ruby nodded, still hesitant, and stepped inside. The room was simple, with mismatched wooden chairs scattered across the stone floor. A large stone fireplace crackled in one corner, its flames casting strange, jittering shadows on the walls. There was a wooden table off to one side, cluttered with odd trinkets and papers, and an old iron chandelier hung from the ceiling, dripping wax from half-melted candles. Despite its humble setup, the room felt... unsettling, like something wasn't quite right beneath the surface.
At the center of the room, sitting with his legs crossed on a well-worn leather chair, was a man in a beige suit. It wasn't just any beige, though—there was something about the way the suit was designed, like it had been meticulously chosen for color theory. The soft, neutral tones of his suit made his slicked-back hair and cocky smirk stand out even more. His tie was a sharp crimson, contrasting perfectly with the rest of his outfit, creating a visual rhythm that drew the eye right to him. Ruby couldn't quite place why, but it felt like he was wearing the suit just to get people's attention.
"Hey, there!" the man said, his voice smooth and playful as he tossed aside the magazine he'd been flipping through. He stood up, straightening his jacket, and extended a hand with a grin. "Saul Goodman. And you are?"
Ruby blinked, shaking his hand cautiously. "Ruby… Rose. Uh, I'm new here."
Saul smirked, his sharp eyes glinting. "Welcome to the club, Ruby. Don't worry, you'll figure it all out. I've been around long enough to know the ropes, so if you need advice, I'm your guy." He winked, his confidence almost unnerving.
Ruby looked around the room, trying to get a grip on her surroundings. "So, what exactly is this check-up?"
Saul chuckled, adjusting his crimson tie. "It's a formality, really. They just wanna make sure you're adjusting, that you haven't completely lost your mind from all the... well, you know." He waved his hand around, indicating the bizarre world outside. "It can be a lot to handle, especially for someone new."
Before Ruby could respond, the door creaked open again, and she turned to see someone else enter the room. A woman, striking in her appearance, stepped inside with deliberate, almost predatory grace. Her hair was a deep, vibrant red, cascading down her back in smooth waves. Her eyes were bright yellow, sharp and piercing, with an intensity that made Ruby uneasy. The way she moved, with such quiet confidence, sent a chill down Ruby's spine.
Saul's grin widened as he saw her. "Ah, there she is. Come here, Makima."
Ruby stiffened as the woman—Makima—walked right up to Saul, her expression calm, almost calculating. Without a word, she cupped Saul's face in her hands and leaned in, kissing him deeply. Ruby's eyes widened in shock, her stomach twisting with discomfort as she watched the unexpected display. The kiss wasn't quick—it was slow, deliberate, and left Ruby feeling like an outsider intruding on something she wanted no part of.
Saul pulled away from the kiss, his smirk even more smug than before. "Well, that's one way to say hello."
Makima remained silent, her yellow eyes flickering toward Ruby for just a moment, as if assessing her. She turned back to Saul, her expression unreadable. Ruby felt a wave of discomfort wash over her, trying to shake the image of their kiss from her mind.
"Gross," Ruby muttered under her breath, hoping no one heard her.
After settling into the village, Ruby found herself in a small, stone building labeled Check-In. The place was quiet, almost unsettlingly so, with only the faint crackling of a fireplace in the corner to break the silence. Ruby had been handed a stack of paperwork when she entered, and now, sitting at a wooden table, she was scribbling in answers to the strange questions.
Do you have any unusual powers or abilities?
Have you encountered interdimensional anomalies before?
Rate your resistance to psychological or dream-based attacks.
Ruby sighed, filling in the final boxes before pushing the papers aside. The questions were so odd that she barely knew what to put down. What even was a "psychological attack," and why did it matter if she could resist one?
Done with the forms, Ruby stood and walked down a narrow hallway that led to the Check-Up Room. She hesitated at the door, but then pushed it open, stepping into a surprisingly modern room. Unlike the rest of the village, which seemed like it was stuck in a medieval time warp, this room was brightly lit, with sleek medical equipment, a clean white floor, and monitors quietly humming in the corner.
A man in a white lab coat stood with his back to her, humming to himself as he organized instruments on a tray. He spun around when Ruby entered, his glasses glinting under the fluorescent light. His grin was wide—too wide.
"Ah, you must be ze new arrival!" he said, his German accent thick and cheerful. "I am ze Medic, and I vill be handling your check-up today!"
Ruby raised an eyebrow at the man's exaggerated energy but stepped further into the room. "Uh, okay," she said, glancing around at the equipment. "So, what exactly are you going to check for?"
"Ah, ze usual things!" Medic replied, pulling a clipboard from the counter. "Vital signs, health history, reflexes, all zat good stuff." He motioned for her to sit on the examination table. "Please, make yourself comfortable!"
Ruby hopped up on the table, swinging her legs nervously. The room felt sterile and strange, but it didn't seem like anything too out of the ordinary.
Medic began by checking her pulse, wrapping a blood pressure cuff around her arm with a surprising amount of precision. "Now, just relax," he said, inflating the cuff and listening carefully as the pressure built. "Everything seems normal! Good, good."
He moved on to other basic tests—checking her eyes with a small flashlight, asking her to breathe deeply while he listened to her lungs with a stethoscope. Ruby was a little surprised at how professional he was being, given his eccentric behavior earlier.
"Any history of medical conditions I should know about?" Medic asked, jotting down notes on his clipboard.
"Not really," Ruby replied. "I've been in fights, but nothing serious. Just the usual scrapes and bruises."
"Excellent!" Medic said with a grin. "No major injuries. Reflexes next!" He grabbed a small rubber mallet and gently tapped her knee, watching as her leg kicked out reflexively. "Perfect reflexes. You're in very good health."
Ruby relaxed a little as the check-up proceeded. Despite his odd manner, Medic seemed competent. She let out a breath of relief as he put down the mallet and returned to his clipboard, making a few more notes.
But then Medic glanced up, his grin widening in that unnerving way again. "Now, ve must do ze final check. I need to scan for any traces of Freddy Krueger's influence."
Ruby blinked. "Uh... Freddy Krueger? Who's that?"
Medic froze for a moment, his eyes widening in surprise. "Ah! You do not know ze Freddy Krueger?" He let out a small chuckle. "Vell, let me explain." He set down the clipboard and stood in front of her, his tone shifting to something more serious.
"Freddy Krueger is... how do I put zis... a being of nightmares. He has ze power to invade people's dreams and turn them into nightmares. If he gains control, he can harm you even in your sleep."
Ruby frowned, confusion crossing her face. "Wait, so… he attacks people while they're dreaming? Like some kind of monster?"
"Exactly!" Medic exclaimed, nodding. "He is very dangerous, and his influence can spread like a disease if not carefully monitored. Zat is why I must check to make sure you are clean."
Ruby blinked, the explanation leaving her with more questions than answers. But she nodded, trying to wrap her head around it. "So... you're saying I might have some kind of... dream energy?"
Medic grabbed a handheld scanner from the counter, the device glowing faintly with a soft green light. "It is possible, but unlikely. Ve are safe from Freddy Krueger here in Obama Land, but ze energy can sometimes linger on new arrivals."
He waved the scanner over her head and across her body, the device emitting quiet beeps as it worked. Ruby held her breath, unsure what to expect. After a few tense moments, the scanner clicked off, and Medic gave her a satisfied nod.
"Clean! No traces of Freddy's influence," he said with a relieved smile. "You are in perfect health, my dear."
Ruby sighed in relief and hopped off the table. "Well, that's a good thing, right?"
"Ja, very good!" Medic said, clapping his hands together. "If you had been infected, ve would have had to take more... drastic measures."
Ruby wasn't sure she wanted to know what those measures were, but she was glad she didn't have to find out. "Thanks, I guess," she muttered, heading toward the door. "So… I'm good to go now?"
"Of course, of course! You are in top condition," Medic said, giving her a cheery wave. "But remember, if you experience any strange symptoms—like headaches or odd dreams—come see me immediately!"
Ruby gave him a half-smile, still processing the whole "Freddy Krueger" thing as she stepped out of the room. As odd as everything was, at least she had her check-up behind her.