The Fifth Kazekage? Uzumaki Naruto?
My son???
What Naruto just said was as outrageous as if Jiraiya had burst through the door shouting that he and Orochimaru were married and had a son.
It was an outrage wrapped in madness, dipped in disbelief, and served with a side of what-the-hell.
Seeing his father's dazed expression, Naruto figured he didn't get it, so he kindly clarified:
"Yeah, that's right."
"I'm the Fifth Kazekage."
Naruto placed his hands on his hips, striking a proud pose like he'd just conquered the world.
Minato's facial features almost crumpled together like a crumpled paper ball.
Look at Naruto—he's what, fifteen or sixteen?
Why does it feel like the world outside has turned completely upside down?
"Okay, forget all that for now."
"The important thing is sealing the tailed beast."
Naruto didn't care about his father's existential crisis. As soon as he finished speaking, his consciousness withdrew from the sealed space, leaving Minato swaying in the wind like a broken kite.
"Minato!"
"Put your hand here."
Kurama extended his paw toward Minato for a fist bump—yes, a literal fist bump—to transfer his chakra and initiate the sealing technique.
He was eager to deal with that stinky raccoon.
Just thinking about having something new to entertain himself with made Kurama's mouth curl into a smug grin.
"Uh… okay."
Minato stood there for a moment, clearly debating whether or not to just give up on thinking altogether. In the end, he raised his hand and bumped fists with Kurama, utterly dead inside.
There was too little information to assess the war situation outside. He'd have to see things for himself first.
At the moment of the fist bump, Minato's chakra merged with Kurama's massive body.
—
In the outside world—
Shukaku had already retreated into Gaara's body, shivering in his sealed space.
It was afraid. Terrified, even. Not just of being beaten to death on the spot, but also that the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki might come up with some twisted idea to seal it into his own body.
Nothing good could possibly come out of this situation.
"There are many roads—let's begin."
"I'm ready."
Gaara had regained consciousness and cheerfully pulled out a mechanical body that looked exactly like himself.
In his other hand, he held a fist-sized chakra core.
Scorpion, who was standing nearby, couldn't help but look on with envy.
This was second-generation Mechanicus tech—way ahead of the first-generation body replacement technique he himself had used.
It looked like a machine, but through specialized chakra components, it could experience all five senses.
And it still retained most human emotions.
"Put that thing away first!"
Naruto was almost scared half to death.
What's going on with this Mechanicus kid?! Now you're talking about mechanical ascension?
What's next? Forcing me, the bishop, to go full cyborg too?!
Nope. Not happening!
This kid needs a girlfriend. ASAP.
We need to set him straight before he falls in love with a robot.
I mean, he was a bachelor in the original story…
But this? This is a whole new level of messed up!
"Naruto…"
"What in the world is going on?"
Minato sensed Kurama's chakra surrounding Naruto, and he could clearly detect the situation outside.
Wait a minute… this red-haired kid...
He should be the One-Tailed Jinchuriki of the Sand Village.
But…
Judging from how close he seems to be with Naruto, it doesn't look like the two villages are at war.
Then why seal Shukaku?
Minato was officially confused.
He had never felt so clueless in his life.
Maybe Naruto and this Gaara kid are good friends?
Maybe Shukaku's seal came loose, and Naruto asked for help resealing it?
That would make sense.
…Or at least, it did—until Gaara took out a kunai and started waving it in front of his neck, like he was trying to figure out the least painful way to stab himself.
"There are many roads, let's get started."
"So do I just… kill myself?"
Minato: ???
Excuse me!?
What the actual hell is going on!?
Is the Sand Village handing out tailed beasts to mentally unstable teenagers now!?
Minato couldn't help but feel like reality had taken a permanent vacation.
Even Naruto looked like he'd aged five years just from watching this scene.
Damn it.
Can't you guys just live a normal life!?
With a long, tired sigh, Naruto took out the Totem of Immortality, stood in front of Gaara, and mentally spoke to his father.
"Dad, let's begin."
"Just remove the seal from Gaara and place it into me."
Minato still didn't fully understand what was happening, but he was willing to trust his son.
Besides, sealing the One-Tail was child's play compared to what he'd done in the past.
Using Kurama's chakra, he carefully moved Naruto's body and began to form the first hand seal.
But then—
Wait a minute!!
Something didn't add up!
What did Naruto just say!?
He wants to seal the One-Tail into himself!?
Minato had assumed Naruto just wanted help resealing the beast into its current host.
That would've been fine.
But this?
What is this kid thinking!?
You're already the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki!
If you seal another tailed beast, you could literally explode!!
Not to mention, stealing another village's tailed beast like this is practically a declaration of war!
People like Chiyo and Ebizo from the Sand Village would go absolutely ballistic!
No. Absolutely not.
There's no way Minato was going to let his son make a suicidal mistake like this.
"Naruto."
"Please, listen to me."
"This is too dangerous…"
"If a Jinchuriki seals two tailed beasts, they'll die."
Minato stopped what he was doing and gently tried to dissuade his son from this insane idea.
Naruto pursed his lips, struggling to explain to his old man just how absurdly durable he was now.
It's just Shukaku.
With his current body?
He could probably seal the Ten-Tails in his gut and still walk away without a scratch.
As Naruto considered how to phrase this, Kurama beat him to it.
"Naruto, don't listen to this guy!"
"I must see that stinky raccoon locked up in here today!"
Kurama was fuming.
They had Shukaku on the ropes, and Minato wanted to just stop now!?
Seriously!?
But Minato, not knowing the full picture, immediately assumed Kurama was trying to manipulate Naruto.
After all, if both tailed beasts were sealed together, Kurama might try to use the One-Tail's presence to break free…
And his son could end up dead.
"Kurama! Who are you to make decisions for Naruto!?"
"I'm his father!"
Kurama paused, then a mischievous grin slowly spread across his face.
"Oh?"
"I've watched Naruto grow up!"
"Minato—I'm his guardian!"