The dry, packed earth of the training grounds crunched underfoot as Alna and I squared off. Ren and his thoroughly humbled party stood a little distance away, forming a reluctant, dusty semi-circle of spectators. I switched my shield from the surprisingly durable Leaf Shield back to the battered, familiar Small Shield. Had to make this look like the ultimate underdog struggle, after all.
My inventory popped open, and I quickly chugged a couple of the Nourishing Beverages I'd crafted this morning. Technically, they were for fatigue, but the system prompt said they 'quickly nourish,' and frankly, I felt pretty malnourished after the last timeline's diet. Plus, maybe they gave a tiny, imperceptible stat boost? Worth a shot.
Alna's eyes narrowed the moment the second bottle disappeared. "Hey! That's cheating!" she accused, pointing a slender finger (currently devoid of her katana) at me. Her expression was adorable – a pout mixed with indignation, like a cat that just saw its favorite toy moved slightly.
"Relax," I lied smoothly, holding up my injured hand (which was healing nicely thanks to my shield-made potions). "Just drinking some low-grade healing stuff for my hand from… uh… punching a tree last night." It wasn't a complete lie. Just mostly.
"Hmph. Whatever," she mumbled, retrieving her katana with a flourish that was probably supposed to look cool but mostly just made her look impatient. She settled into a low stance, her earlier playful curiosity hardening into focused intent.
"Alright, Shield Hero," she said, gripping the katana with both hands. "Let's see if that talk of yours was just… talk."
"Haa!" With a sharp intake of breath, she exploded forward, a flash of steel aimed straight at my face.
CLANG!
I brought the Small Shield up just in time, the impact jarring my arm up to my shoulder. Gods, she's fast! And strong. The impulse running through the shield was much more than I thought. Blow after blow rained down – quick, precise cuts aimed at my center mass, my legs, even trying to angle around the shield. I twisted, shifted, and absorbed, the familiar 'clangs' echoing across the training ground.
My arms were starting to ache. Even with the low-level strengthening effect from the shield absorbing orange and yellow balloons, her brute force was wearing me down. This couldn't last. I needed to implement the plan.
All this time, I was trying to find an opening, a blind spot to slip behind her. But she was good. Her footwork kept her constantly facing me, and her guard was tight. Pinning her with just my arms? Impossible. She was level 33 for crying out loud, probably built like a miniature brick wall. Using Orange Balloons directly? She'd swat them like flies before they got within five feet.
Just as my arms screamed in protest, I saw it – a fraction of a second as she shifted her weight for a powerful horizontal slash. I closed the distance slightly, then, with a swift, underhand motion, I flicked my wrist.
The dagger, held only by thumb and forefinger, spun end over end towards her face.
It was a terrible throw, intentionally.
Alna's eyes widened in surprise. Her attack faltered for just a moment as instinct took over. CLINK. She deflected the pathetic projectile with her sword, a tiny spark flying as metal met metal.
That fraction of a second was all I needed.
Using the distraction, I surged forward, sidestepping her recovering blade. As her head turned back to me, I was already right beside her, fumbling under my cape.
"Wha—?" She started to turn, her eyes flicking down in confusion. Too late.
My cape, lined with a few dozen of my 'pets' – a collection of particularly enthusiastic Red Balloons – sprang open.
The Red Balloons, brighter and bouncier than their orange cousins, tumbled out. They didn't hesitate. Guided by some primal, shield-hero-adjacent instinct, they immediately latched onto the nearest target.
Alna.
She turned around, sword raising, but the sudden swarm of rubbery, biting monsters was unexpected. She flinched, taken aback.
Before she could regain her composure, I jumped.
Yeah, I jumped at her. Specifically, I launched myself into what could only be described as a very awkward, airborne tackle/hug. My goal was simple: keep her sword arm from getting free and pin her to the ground. Had I not done this, the balloons would have been popped, and my entire, brilliant plan would have deflated faster than one of Alna's soon-to-be-very-annoyed attackers.
It was incredibly embarrassing. Wrestling a cute, strong girl to the ground while being bitten by sentient balloons was not how I envisioned my triumphant return. But hey, results.
THUMP!
I slammed us both to the dusty ground, landing on top of her and pinning her arms down with my shield arm and my body weight. The remaining Red Balloons, sensing their opportunity, swarmed.
"Stop!" Alna shrieked, a mix of surprise and discomfort in her voice.
Then the real fun began. The Red Balloons started biting. And they weren't shy.
"Aargh! Get off!" she cried out as a particularly enthusiastic balloon latched onto her leg.
"You… you little—! Ow! Get off my ass!" Now she was cursing. Cutely, mind you, like a frustrated fairy. The indignity of being defeated by balloons, specifically biting her posterior, seemed to be getting to her.
"You ******* bastard!"
"I won't forgive you!"
"You'll pay for this, Shield Hero! AAAAHH!"
She thrashed beneath me, trying desperately to dislodge the bouncy little terrors. Pinning her was surprisingly difficult; even on the ground, she had surprising strength. But I held firm, the dusty earth pressing into my cheek. The spectators – Ren and his party – were utterly speechless, staring with wide eyes as the fearsome level 33 warrior was being defeated by… this.
"Just admit defeat," I said, panting slightly from the effort of holding her down and trying not to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. "These guys are the strongest in my collection. Some real kickers." I smirked.
"You… you're a villain!" she gasped, squirming. "You even tamed them! Aahh, it bites!"
Looks like she wasn't going to give up based on principle alone. Fine. Time for the slightly less humiliating, slightly more intimidating move.
Keeping her pinned with my body and shield, I used my free hand to grab a handful of her long yellow hair, pulling her head back slightly. Her eyes, wide and watering from the pain and frustration, locked onto mine. With my other hand, I smoothly drew one of the daggers from my pocket and placed the tip lightly against her throat.
The struggling stopped abruptly. The only sounds were the persistent, muffled squish-bite noises of the Red Balloons.
"Listen," I said, my voice low and serious, cutting through the ridiculousness. "I can kill you anytime I want right now. Do you give up?"
She swallowed, her throat bobbing against the steel. The defiance drained from her face, replaced by reluctant acceptance. Her gaze flicked from the dagger, to the biting balloons, to my impassive face.
"Yes," she whispered, the fight leaving her. "Yes, I lost. Please… please get these things off me."
A small, genuine smile finally touched my lips. Victory. Bizarre, embarrassing, and slightly abusive-looking, but victory nonetheless. Time to collect on my extremely specific, completely reasonable bet.
I moved away from her, not exactly gracefully, and whistled sharply. The Red Balloons, bless their little chewy hearts, immediately detached themselves from their impromptu buffet and bounced back towards me. I quickly gathered them up, tucking them back into the slightly stretched confines of my cape. Their little 'munching' sounds faded, replaced by the sudden, awkward silence of the training grounds.
Just like that, with strategically deployed low-level monsters, a well-timed dagger throw distraction, a desperate tackle, and a willingness to wrestle a level 33 swordswoman in front of an audience, I had won an impossible battle. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't heroic, and it certainly wasn't something that would ever make it into a bard's song – unless it was a very, very avant-garde bard specializing in 'humiliating defeats via livestock'.
"Are you alright, Alna?" Ren was instantly at her side, extending a hand with that earnest, slightly bewildered look he often wore when the world deviated from his game-logic expectations. He really was a nice guy, annoyingly so.
Alna pushed herself up, swatting away his hand with a groan. "I'm peachy, thanks for asking, Sword Hero," she grumbled, dusting off her adventurer's outfit with exaggerated vigour. She straightened her light armor, adjusted a stray strand of her long yellow hair that had escaped during the tussle, and glared at her ass – or rather, where a particularly persistent Red Balloon had been attached. Despite the dirt smudges and her obvious annoyance, there was something almost kitten-like about her indignant dusting and frustrated huffing. Cute, in a 'will probably slice you later' kind of way.
Ren then turned to me, his expression shifting. Here it comes, I thought. The lecture. The 'that wasn't how a hero fights' speech. I braced myself, ready to just nod and let the sermon wash over me.
"You're amazing," he said instead, his voice filled with genuine awe.
My mental preparedness screeched to a halt. I blinked at him. "What? Aren't you going to scold me?"
Ren actually looked surprised by my question. "Scold you? Why would I scold you?" He gestured vaguely between me, still holding my shield, and Alna, still brushing dirt off her backside with a pout. "I mean, yes, your methods were… unconventional. And maybe a little bit terrifying when you pulled out that dagger. But you were level five! She's level 33! There wasn't much else you could have done! You used strategy, exploited her blind spots, and weaponized… whatever those things are," he finished, nodding towards my cape with a shudder that suggested he didn't want to know more about the Red Balloons. "Honestly, it was… it was actually really smart. I have to admit, Naofumi. You're strong."
He looked genuinely impressed. Like I'd just solved a complex dungeon puzzle using only a rusty spoon and a philosophical paradox. It was so far removed from the condemnation I expected that it was almost disorienting. Ren, praising me? The guy who couldn't even use a sword without getting zapped?
Around us, the other adventurers, who had been watching the whole bizarre spectacle unfold with varying degrees of shock, confusion, and suppressed laughter, started murmuring amongst themselves.
* "Did you see that? He actually beat her!"
* "With balloons?"
* "And he pinned her! That was… something else."
* "The Shield Hero... is kind of terrifying?"
"Welcome to my party," I stated, offering a small, distinctly humorless smile. It hung awkwardly in the air, much like the stunned silence from Ren and his crew. Alna, still dusting off dirt that shouldn't have been there after just getting knocked down by balloon monsters (seriously, physics?), glared at me.
"I won't admit this," she huffed, pushing a strand of damp hair from her face. "You cheated! Using those… those things!" She gestured vaguely at where the Red Balloons had vanished back into my cape. My 'collection,' as I'd so charmingly put it.
"Cheating?" I echoed, feigning innocence. "Is using the resources available to me, within the rules of combat, 'cheating'? Perhaps you should be more aware of your opponent's capabilities."
She muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like 'monster breeder bastard,' which, honestly, was fair. But the victory was mine. Sort of. It had been messy.
Remembering my earlier thought about staying on her good side, I reached into my pocket. "Here," I said, tossing the high-grade potion she'd left for me last night. "Take this. It should heal those… minor inconveniences."
Alna caught it, looking at the sleek bottle. Her eyes widened slightly, then narrowed back at me, a flicker of genuine annoyance mixed with something I couldn't quite place. "You're giving my own potion back to me after hurting me with balloon bites? Just how sadistic can you be?" she accused, though her voice lacked some of its previous fire.
Right. Maybe the whole 'sadistic monster breeder' thing wasn't the best first impression, even if it was technically how I won. I'd gone too far. She wasn't Myne. She was just… a stranger I'd accidentally traumatized with animated rubber livestock. And I did need her help for three days.
"Alna," I said, my voice softening slightly.
She flinched, clearly expecting another jab. "What happened? Still not satisfied with your… victory?"
"No, it's not that," I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. The fight hadn't hurt my body much, but the sheer awkwardness of pinning her with balloon monsters while holding a dagger to her throat had been emotionally draining. "Look, I... I'm sorry. It wasn't exactly how I wanted to win, but with the level gap, I really felt like I had no other choice."
Her eyes softened. A faint blush bloomed on her cheeks. She looked down, tracing patterns on the potion bottle with her thumb. "It's... it's alright," she mumbled, barely audible. Okay, apology accepted. Note to self: accidental sadism requires immediate follow-up apology.
While she was momentarily distracted, I initiated the party formation via the Shield's menu. A quick mental prompt, a confirmation, and bing. Party formed. Her name and level appeared in my peripheral vision.
Alna Stepnova - Level 42
My internal monologue sputtered. Forty-two?! She said 33 last night! She was lying again! And I beat a level 42 swordsman at level 5 by... by wrestling her and using balloon monsters? That was even more ridiculous than beating Ren.
I suppressed a sigh. If I'd known, maybe I could have unlocked some specific Shield skills that might have helped more directly, rather than having to rely purely on improvisation, tanking, and my reaction speed, which I'd inadvertently put on full display. That reaction speed was one of the few physical benefits that had stuck from my previous... existence. Revealing it now felt like showing my only card too early.
Alna was following me now, quietly. We were heading towards the town gates. Her expression was still a mix of annoyance and begrudging acceptance, maybe a hint of curiosity about where we were going. She clearly wasn't thrilled, but a deal was a deal.
"Alna," I said, needing to confirm something for the next step of my plan.
"Yes?" she answered instantly, snapping to attention like a disciplined soldier, though she was far from it.
"Since you're quite skilled in swordsmanship and... well, you seem competent," (a huge compliment coming from me at this point), "and you move like someone used to open spaces, I presume you can ride horses?" My previous interactions hadn't suggested nobility, but riding was a necessary skill for anyone seriously adventuring outside big cities.
She looked momentarily surprised by the question. "Sorry to disappoint your noble assumptions," she said, a slight smirk playing on her lips. "I'm not a noble. I don't have a family, actually." Her expression flickered with something unreadable for a split second before she smoothed it over. "But yes, I know how to ride a horse."
Good. That saved me the hassle of teaching someone or finding a riding instructor. "Can you arrange two horses for us, then? One is also fine if you're fine riding with me on the same horse." I added the last part mostly as a test, or maybe just to see her reaction. Riding double with a near-stranger, especially after our unique 'duel,' felt like a sitcom plot point.
She visibly wrinkled her nose at the suggestion of sharing. Cute. "Definitely two," she stated firmly. "But... why do you need horses? Where are we going?"
Now she was asking questions? After agreeing to my frankly insane terms? "I want to go somewhere," I replied, keeping it vague. No need to reveal my destination just yet. It wasn't exactly a tourist spot.
"Where?" she pressed, stopping in her tracks and putting her hands on her hips. Ah, the pushback begins.
My patience, already thin from the morning's events, stretched tighter. "I will tell you on the way. Firstly, do what I told you." My tone was flat, leaving no room for argument. We had a deal. My rules for three days.
"Huh," she sighed, looking exasperated, but she dropped her hands. "Okay, fine. For how long will you need them?"
"One week," I decided. Better to have them available than need them and not have them. "How much will it cost?" I expected her to name a price or ask for funds.
Instead, she just grinned, that same adventurous, slightly predatory grin from the training grounds returning. "Leave it to me," she said with a wink.
Okay, that was… unexpected. And maybe a little charming. And slightly concerning. What was she going to do? Charm the stable master? Pickpocket him? I decided not to ask. Ignorance is bliss, especially when dealing with Level 42 adventurers who sleep in trees.
"How much time will it take you to bring them?" I asked, needing a timeframe.
She tapped a finger on her chin, thinking. "Hmm. Procuring two decent riding horses and bringing them to the gate... At least half an hour," she said after a moment.
"Meet me at the bridge then," I instructed, pointing towards the stone bridge just past the town gates. It was a good, easily identifiable landmark.
"Alright, Shield Hero," she said, turning to go. As she walked away, she glanced back over her shoulder, a playful look in her eyes. "I'm glad I refused to become your slave, otherwise you would've worked me to the bone!"
I just gave a small, dry smirk in response. She wasn't wrong. For three days, she would be working to the bone. But it would be mutually beneficial. Hopefully.
With our bizarre, temporary partnership sealed and a meeting place set, we parted ways. She headed into town, presumably towards the stables, while I had a few more things to check off my list before we embarked on the next phase of Naofumi's Excellent Adventure: Electric Boogaloo. Phase One: Escape the Capital and Acquire Rapi and Filo ASAP. Everything else was just noise.