"Their anger is justified. Unfortunately for them, so were my actions."
Mother had not taken the news well.
That should have come as a surprise to absolutely nobody. Her husband had retreated into his mind with no hint of recovery, and she had taken it upon herself to be his caretaker. Exclusively, it must be said. And why not? The duties of state were handled by Aemon in his position as regent. Maegelle and I were there to handle the duties of raising the children, as we had done for years. And I sat upon the Small Council, there to assist my brother. Everything had been set up to run perfectly well in the absence of the king and the queen.
Her withdrawing from politics to focus on helping the man she loved made perfect sense.
But then Aemon had let his utter foolishness consume him, quickly spiraling into madness until he thought of me as a threat. Or that was my assumption; No part of his actions had been particularly sane. While that was going on, he had all but isolated our parents and kept the Kingsguard from interfering.
Mother had known none of this.
All she knew was that Aemon and I had quarreled, and I had killed him. No context, none of the reasons, only the outcome. And what could I do? Try to explain it? Try to rationalize why yet another of her sons had to die?
No, I held my mother as her crying transitioned to outright sobbing. Her tears soaked the shoulder of my doublet quite thoroughly within the first minutes. Snot from her running nose soon accumulated as well, but I paid it no mind. Not when I was shedding no small number of tears myself.
Grief, though never pleasant, remained a part of life. I could escape it not more than I could escape the light of the sun.
After some minutes, my tears dried. Mother was another story, however, but that was to be expected. Yet another of her sons had died, killed by his brother no less; these tears would flow for quite some time.
Tragically for me, and mayhaps fortunately for my friends who were still keeping me company, the doors opened a few minutes later. The Kingsguard ushered in the new arrivals, consisting of my sisters Daella, Saera, and Viserra. My good-sister Jocelyn, too, was there, and her daughter Rhaenys was with her.
Five souls whose hopes for a beautiful and happy day I was going to crush.
Said five souls did not speak for a moment, instead taking in the scene before them. Their queen weeping, her son comforting her, their king staring blankly at the fire blazing in the hearth, and two members of the Small Council standing by awkwardly.
"Vaegon?" Saera asked. "Did something happen?"
Some might have questioned the middle sister speaking for the group, but I was used to it. She had always been the willful one, always craving to be the center of attention. It was only natural that she would be the one to break the silence.
"I thought it best that you hear this from me," I said softly. For a brief moment, I considered disentangling myself from Mother. Once I realized that would leave her alone, without a shoulder to cry on, I rejected that idea. "Aemon is dead."
"What?" Daella's eyes, already hauntingly large, went wide and watery at the news. Tears were an inevitability at that point, I knew. I sent a meaningful glance at Corlys, but he was already moving. He gathered his wife into an embrace, shielding her from my gaze. But I could still see her diminutive frame begin to shudder.
Saera did… well, not better. There was no such thing as a 'good' reaction to being told your brother was dead. But if nothing else, she did not react as much. Though she still found herself wrapped up in an embrace by her own husband. It was good of my friends to stay by my side, if only to make things a little better for those who needed them.
Though this did leave my littlest sister alone with my brother's widow and daughter before me.
Viserra glanced about, trying to figure out where to go before launching herself at me and burying her face in my doublet. It took little effort to lift her onto the couch and into a tighter embrace, but that left the most affected of the group isolated before me.
"What did you do?" Jocelyn asked. Her features, already dark on account of her Baratheon ancestry, grew more thunderous still. "I swear by the gods old and new, if you had something to do with this…"
"I do," I admitted readily. Trying to hind behind half-truths and equivocations would not serve me now. I took a deep breath, trying to find the words. "He accused me of treason. I denied it. I gave him every opportunity to recant his accusations. He rejected each of them. The trial by combat was this morning."
The words hung in the air for several long moments.
"You mean…"
"I killed Aemon," I told the woman who, until less than an hour ago, had been my good-sister.
"What?"
At my side, Viserra shifted. Stiffened, really. The brother in whose arms she had sought comfort admitted he was responsible for killing his own brother, after all. It was the obvious reaction. Natural, even.
Off to the side, the weeping of the eldest of my little sisters intensified.
"I did it," I admitted. "I am certain that this could have been avoided, but it was not. And now Aemon is dead. For that, I am sorry."
"Sorry? SORRY?" Jocelyn stormed towards me, murder in her eyes. "You murdered my husband, robbed my daughter of her father, your parents of their son, and you think 'sorry' will make it all better?"
"Of course not," I said immediately. "Nothing will make it better. All that is left for me is atonement. Which is why I will be confirming Rhaenys as Princess of Dragonstone the next time the Small Council convenes."
The girl in question looked quite alone in the middle of the room. Her aunts were with their husbands. Her mother was glaring at me from a distance that she could have driven a knife through my throat. Not that she carried one- I had checked more than once. But still, this just meant that none remained by Rhaenys' side, the poor child.
"So you will give my daughter what is her right? How very generous of you," Jocelyn all but spat. "You will forgive me if we take our leave."
"I have no intention of controlling you," I said, gesturing to the door. "You are free to return to your duties, though I must ask you to refrain from leaving court entirely. Rhaenys needs to learn how to rule, after all."
Was it a risk? Mayhaps.
But Rhaenys needed to be molded into a fitting queen. I had spent my life thus far preparing the realm for Aemon's rule. Those plans were flexible enough, with a bit of work. Besides, I had groomed Braxton into a fitting husband for Saera. This was not that much different. Except in scope. And detail. And almost everything else. But I could cope.
"His Grace learned fine without my father sitting at his shoulder," Jocelyn said.
"Father was nearly half again as old as Rhaenys," I pointed out. "And with less to prove to the realm, succeeding my father instead of Maegor. Please, do not let us quarrel over this. Not this soon."
"I make no promises," she all but spat. "Rhaenys, come. We're leaving."
With that, they left. I made a mental note to have the girl assigned to be my cupbearer, but refocused my attention on the people that needed me most. For a while, at least, until the tears started to dry. Or started to come less.
I still had duties that needed fulfilling, after all, in the castle sept.
It was there that I waited. Not for forgiveness, not for a sign from above, but for the final two people who needed to be told. The final two people who would tell me just how foolish I had been. Two more people to tell me that I was beyond redemption.
Well, one person, realistically.
I was staring up at the statue of the Father, praying to Aemon to be judged mercifully, when the lighting within the sept shifted. The cavernous chamber dimmed incrementally as a pair of figures appeared in the doorway. Outside, the sound of bells filtered in, filling the air.
"Maegelle," I greeted the first figure, my voice slightly rough. "Alyssa."
"The bells are ringing across the city, and you had a man waiting for us at the Dragonpit," Alyssa commented. True to her word, she had come immediately after landing. The riding leathers she and Maegelle wore were evidence enough. "Did something happen to Father?"
"Aemon," I corrected tersely, still not entirely comfortable with speaking the truth to someone who had not witnessed my brother's lengthy bout of foolishness. This was not the first time I had to break the news that day. Neither was it the second. At what point did it get easier? Did it ever?
If anything, this was more difficult than the second time.
"Aemon?" Alyssa asked, confusion writ clear across her features. "What did Aemon do?"
"He accused Vaegon of treason," Maegelle answered. "And other things besides."
"What?" Alyssa asked, turning to our sister. "When was this? And how do you know this?"
"I was there when he tried to have Vaegon arrested," she answered. "Last week. He did not succeed."
"The absolute madness!" Alyssa shouted, her words echoing throughout the mostly empty sept. "Aemon tried to have Vaegon arrested, fails, and I am only told this now?"
"He-" I tried to answer, but Alyssa whirled to face me. A withering glare spoiled what were usually cheerful and friendly features as she made it clear she did not wish to hear from me.
"Is this why you disappeared all week? Hiding from our brother?" Alyssa asked. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have done something, could have talked with him! And what does any of this…" her voice trailed off as the realization sank in. Her next words, she spoke softly. "… the bells. The bells are ringing. He's dead."
"Alyssa-"
"Aemon is dead," Alyssa said, voice still soft. Maegelle and I said nothing, letting silence fill the sept. I was still searching for something to say when my oldest sister turned to me, bright eyes focused squarely on mine. "You killed him."
"… trial by combat," I managed to say at last. "It was a trial by combat."
"You killed Aemon," she said again. "In a trial by combat. What madness is this? Why would you demand a trial by combat against your own brother?"
"I thought I could make him yield," I said. "Something to let us both walk away."
"You thought?" she asked. "You tried to see who would flinch first! With valyrian steel! You could have gone for a regular trial! The Small Council is stacked with your friends and allies! Your innocence would have been all but guaranteed!"
"Aemon may have been counting on Vaegon thinking the same," Maegelle offered. "He was the Master of Laws. If anyone could have arranged for a trial to guarantee a guilty verdict, it would have been him. He would have been able to deny Vaegon's advantage."
"But I threatened to demand a trial by combat the first time he accused me," I pointed out. "Unless he thought I was bluffing…"
I did not bother continuing the thought. Mind games, all of it. No wonder Aemon went mad, trying to predict me.
"And at no point did you think to ask me for help," Alyssa observed, still visibly seething. "At no point did you think to ask me, sister to both you and Aemon, for help. To try and de-escalate."
"He stopped accepting help when he sent the city watch after me," I pointed out before Maegelle chimed in.
"Alyssa, he was refusing to visit Mother. He put her under house arrest in all but name, kept her isolated," she explained. "He refused to take the advice of me or the Small Council. No more than he was listening to the captains and the commander of the city watch."
"He what?" Alyssa asked incredulously. "And you did not think to tell me? You did not think this was important? My last two brothers at each other's throats, and you did not tell me?"
"You forget about Aelys," Maegelle pointed out.
"Please, he is your son in all but name," she countered, before returning her attention to me. "But that doesn't change the fact that you, Vaegon, killed our eldest brother."
"I-" my attempt to speak was interrupted yet again by Alyssa.
"And you, Maegelle," she turned to our sister. "How are you not more upset? Whatever happened to no man being more cursed than the kinslayer?"
"He is my husband. He is mine and I am his. I will not abandon him," Maegelle answered as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Alyssa did not immediately answer.
"Are you even listening to me?" she eventually asked. "The both of you. Brother slays brother, and you barely react. It's like you were expecting this."
Once again, silence reigned in the sept.
In a way, Alyssa had been correct. Entirely correct, really. Maegelle and I had both known that this was a possibility. A very likely possibility, ever since Aemon had sent the city watch after me.
"Seven save me, you were expecting this," Alyssa said at last. "This is all too much. I… I need to think on this. The both of you had best do the same. Or pray, or whatever it is you do."
On that note, she turned to leave.
Yeah.
I deserved that.
...
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