Ren watched Shoto's eyes dance as he knelt in front of her and inspected her wrists. The lights of the city outside her windows shimmered in his eyes with more intensity as he swallowed hard, his hands holding onto her arms as though they were a lifeline. He blinked his mismatched eyes as he took in the sight of burn marks across Ren's skin, along her fragile wrists…wherever he had touched her, whenever his quirk unwillingly activated… The sight sent a jolt of revulsion through him, not at Ren, but at himself.
"I did that?" His voice came out sounding much more afraid than he thought it would. "I hurt you?" Taking her hands out of his grip, Ren slid off the plush sofa to sit in front of him, her big grey eyes looking lost and understanding at the same time. She took his face in her hands but he found it difficult to look at her.
"It doesn't hurt," Ren said softly, "and you didn't do it on purpose. It's just a…side effect of sex." She lifted her hand to push his hair away from his eyes so they could look at each other properly but it was clear Shoto was not listening.
In his mind, he was back in his childhood home, looking down at his mother's arms as she held him after protecting him from a brutal training session with his father. The thought of it, the parallel between his past and his present, was too horrifying to ignore.
He felt sick, disgusted with himself for inflicting the same pain he had sworn to protect others from. How could he have been so blind to what he was doing? Caught up in the human heat of sex with the girl of his dreams to the point that he couldn't control his quirk, the one thing he had trained to do his entire life…was he weak? Was he a failure? The anger at himself, his hatred of his father, the sickening idea that he could be anything like him, was taking over his brain.
"We have to stop." Shoto stood up suddenly, abandoning Ren on the floor.
"Wh-what?" Ren's arms were still raised as he had pulled himself away from her so quickly she could barely register what had just happened. She lowered her arms slowly, the movement causing the delicate gold bracelet on her wrist to catch the light. "What do you mean?"
"We have to stop sleeping together." There was no room for argument in his tone. Something dark passed across Ren's face when he finally looked down to her, sat against the sofa, on the living room rug where they had first given in to one another.
Unwillingly, her eyes began to glisten, she felt cold and alone as he stared down at her like he didn't know her at all. Shoto shifted to someone who wasn't recognisable to her, not the sweet, beautiful boy next door she was clearly falling in love with, he looked like a stranger, someone who didn't want to know her.
For a girl so used to being on TV screens, where nothing was real and no one was honest, for the one person she trusted most in the world to withdraw from her like this, to push her away like this, it felt like everything before had been false. Was it so easy for him to just switch off his feelings for her? Was it so easy to give up their physical connection, something she thought meant so much to them both? Was it so fucking easy for him to reject her?
"But it's not…so predictable," she said slowly, "it happens even when we're not-"
"So we stop everything."
With a single sentence all of Ren's capacity for reasoning seemed to leave her. She was not someone who responded well to limitations or rules, her autonomy was something she prized above all else as she had spent her entire life running away from the limitations that came with her family name. And now the single person she thought understood that, understood her, was pushing her away, punishing her for something that wasn't even her fault. Taking something away that both of them begged each other for every single night.
A million different possible actions ran through her mind; she considered taking off her dress and daring him not to fuck her. She thought about just leaving the apartment, leaving him with the ridiculous things he was suggesting. Leaving him completely, giving him what he wanted which was clearly not her. All stupid, ridiculous, completely irrational responses that her brain was telling her were the right actions to take. She could see the train crash coming, the hopeless relationship of two very broken people unable to communicate with each other, unable to understand each other. If she could just break through her own fear of abandonment, she could save this.
"So, what, you're just never going to touch me again? You want to go back to being friends?" She asked scathingly, because she was nineteen and did not exist in a fairy tale. The fear of rejection was too much to allow her to be vulnerable.
And even though it felt like they were on opposite ends of the country, the two teenagers were both in the same predicament; the pain of the past, the fear stirred up by insecurities, left them unable to be honest with each other.
Shoto could not understand why she could not understand him; he took her anger as a sign of how uncaring she was over his feelings. His defences went up immediately. "Is sex really that important to you?" The demeaning look in his eye made Ren scoff and call out his hypocrisy.
"Why are you acting like I'm the only one who likes it?" She asked, standing to her full height, walking over to him with a sickened smile. "Ren, do the thing," she repeated his words to him mockingly. "Can you take it? I want to watch you fucking take it-"
"Stop it-"
"Why are you pushing me away?!"
"Because I'm hurting you!"
"This, THIS is hurting me, not your quirk," she tried to keep herself together as her voice broke. "Was I so fucking stupid to think we felt the same way?" Ren asked as tears fell like glitter from her eyes. "Do you know what it's like being with something so emotionally unavailable?" She asked him, but bringing up yet another way he was letting her down only made him look away in shame. "You can be right next to me and still feel a million miles away," she sniffed, "sex feels like the only time I have all of you." Did he not understand how important their physical connection was? Didn't it transcend something human for him to, felt otherworldly like magic? Maybe that was just a difference between men and women Ren had never thought of before. "These scars are proof that there are moments that I get all of you, that you let me in, that you can let go around me-"
"I can't keep losing control-"
"But I want you to!" She cried, wiping her eyes hurriedly and shaking her head like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Was I so stupid to think that you felt it too?" Ren asked herself.
"It's exactly because I feel the same way that I lose control," Shoto said sincerely. Their eyes met for the first time in a while, the hurt, the love, the anger and rejection evident in his mismatched gaze. "It's because I feel so close to you that this happens, that I've tricked myself into thinking it's okay. But I cannot keep doing it-"
"Why not-?"
"Because you don't hurt the people you're supposed to care about. The people you're supposed to protect," he said seriously, his voice low, his hair falling away from his brow as he bowed his head in shame. "That's not okay."
And suddenly, Ren saw the little boy she had first met, could hear the fear and vulnerability in his voice. The rare, real display of emotion from Shoto was the perspective she needed to truly understand what was going on in his head. Her heart broke as she realised what he was saying.
"Hey," she said as tears fell relentlessly down her face, she took his face in her hands, "hey!" She forced him to look her in the eye. "You're right. That's not okay," she said gently, "but you are nothing like him." She kissed the corner of his mouth and said firmly: "this is not the same." Ren shook her head at him as he began to speak again, his lower lip trembled.
"But I hurt you. I made you suffer. The villain burned you because of me. I've failed you-"
"No," Ren would not allow the monologue of self-hate continue, not when it came from someone so goodhearted, so well natured and caring. "None of that is true," she reassured him, placing her forehead against his. Ren closed her eyes and breathed him in.
"I'm just trying to keep you safe," he whispered.
"I know."
"I think," he cleared his throat, knowing Ren, knowing he was about to say something that could ruin them, "I think you should move back home." He watched her move away from him as the colour drained from her face.
Ren put a hand to her throat, Shoto assumed her burn was causing her discomfort but he did not know that Ren suddenly felt something very strange happening in her jugular vein. Her form was giving way to something less solid, her quirk was threatening to show itself in response to the emotional turmoil she was feeling. Her blood was turning thinner, she could feel herself about to turn as invisible as he was making her feel. She breathed in deeply to calm herself down, concentrated on remaining solid, not that she had any fucking idea how to do that.
"I understand," she started slowly, taking a deep breath, "why you are reluctant to touch me. I get that, I can work with that," Ren accepted. "But you cannot ask me to go back to the loneliest fucking place in existence," she begged him. "You cannot put the fence back between us, not when it took us nineteen years to get here. I will tighten security around the apartment," she pleaded, "change the locks tonight, get an updated alarm system, put in multiple panic buttons. I will move!Just don't put me behind the fucking fence again." He watched all the fight of her go out. This poor girl, having faced a villain, an angry painful burn evident on her neck, was now fighting for the one thing she couldn't bear to lose and all of it was because of him.
Shoto thought about the fence; broken and old, even when they were young, covered in plants from either family's garden, fighting for space. He remembered staring at it in the dark at night, from his bedroom window, once they had said their goodbyes after a day spent in the sun together. He thought about how he associated that view with all the barriers that existed between them. The pressure of their families, the weight of the legacies on top of both of them, the expectations and the limitations. He thought about how he had stared at it when she left to study, how he hated that it reminded him of how he ached for her all the time. Even he couldn't go back to that.
"Okay," he said hoarsely, "don't go to your family home," he watched her exhale, suddenly looking so tired. She practically collapsed onto the couch. "We'll put better security measures in here and you need to consider moving, the villain knows where you live," Shoto reassured her and watched her nod. He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. His thumb traced circles on her palm. The sudden closeness soothed Ren's heart a little; surely he understood, surely he felt it too?
"Is it really so easy for you to give me up?" Ren asked suddenly, feeling completely vulnerable but finally seen. Shoto sighed; it was so difficult to understand his own brain sometimes, how was he supposed to understand someone else's? He ran a hand through his two toned hair and sighed.
"It feels similar to denying myself food when I'm on the brink of starvation," he said matter-of-factly. "It feels like trying to ignore the most primal instinct I have," he had no idea why she was smiling. "I don't want to-"
"So don't!" She pleaded, her eyes turning round an luminous in exactly the way she knew to get him to give in.
"We're going to put down some rules," she smiled and nodded at him, listening intently, trying to prevent a frown from overtaking her features. She knew that rules would get rid of that element of chaos, of trouble, of dark, delicious control she had been falling in love with…but for him, she could sacrifice it. "If it gets out of control, we stop. If either of us is uncomfortable, we stop. Understand?"
"Yes," Ren nodded and rubbed her neck before wincing in pain. She spied him looking at her burn. "Is it ugly?" He shook his head.
"Someone would have to try very, very hard to make you ugly." Shoto jumped as Ren threw her arms around his neck to draw him into embrace. She felt the tension in his shoulders melt away as he held her. Her body began to shake a little as the fear, emotional and physical exhaustion of the day overwhelmed her. The burn on her neck seemed to throb in time with her racing heart.
"I'm so tired, Shoto."
"I'm here, Ren."
***
The early morning light filtered through the sheer curtains of Ren's bedroom, casting a soft, ethereal glow across the space. The room was a perfect blend of modern luxury and cozy comfort, with its high ceilings and minimalist decor. A king-sized bed dominated the centre, its crisp white linens rumpled from a night of restless sleep.
On the bed, Ren and Shoto lay side by side, not touching, lost in a sea of blankets, both trying o find comfort in the warmth of sleep. The events of the previous night had left them both unsettled, their sleep punctuated by moments of wakefulness and unease.
The silence was broken by the sudden, insistent beeping of Shoto's alarm. He blinked his eyes open slowly and reached for his phone, his movements slow and groggy. As he silenced the alarm, a look of confusion crossed his face as he squinted at the screen.
"Why is my alarm set half an hour earlier than usual?" he asked, his voice still rough with sleep.
Ren stirred beside him, a small smile playing on her lips even as her eyes remained closed. "I changed it," she murmured.
"Why?"
"So we can cuddle for half an hour," Ren replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Without opening her eyes, Ren turned, pressing her back against Shoto's chest, her silk black nightdress sliding against his t-shirt. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling the familiar scent of her. The tension that had been building between them seemed to dissipate, replaced by a comforting warmth. They began to drift off again, lulled by each other's presence.
But as they lay there, some primitive part of Shoto's teenage boy brain began to wake up, acutely aware of Ren's body against his. The curve of her butt pressed against his crotch, the silky fabric of her nightdress sliding smoothly under his fingertips. He could feel the dip of her waist practically begging for his fingertips. The scent of her, the feel of her, all the textures, all the shapes, all the colours that he longed for.
Almost unconsciously, Shoto's lips found Ren's neck, placing soft, gentle kisses along the smooth skin. His hand, which had been resting on her waist, began to move, tracing the curve of her hip before grabbing her a little roughly and pulling her closer. Ren, who had been only half-asleep, let out a small gasp of pleasure.
Encouraged by her response, Shoto tangled his hand in her hair, gently pushing it aside to expose more of her neck. He held her hair firmly, the slight pull eliciting another soft moan from Ren. She woke up, eyes wide with surprise and delight, before arching herself into him, grinding her hips against him, smiling in satisfaction as she felt him getting harder.
Ren reached back, her hand finding the nape of Shoto's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Their lips met with a passion that had been simmering just beneath the surface. Shoto's hand slid down, pushing up the hem of Ren's nightdress, over her hips. In one fluid motion, he turned her onto her back, hovering over her.
In the dim morning light, Shoto drank in the sight of Ren beneath him. Her dark hair was splayed across the pillow, her grey eyes heavy-lidded with desire. The black silk of her nightdress contrasted beautifully with her pale skin. It was like he forgot her every time they were ever apart and finding her again was always as thrilling as the first time. He could see her breathing heavily, watched the curve of her breasts dip up and down as her lips parted. Before she could start begging, giving him what he wanted to hear, Shoto leant down and kissed her harder than she had anticipated. Her hands were caught in his hair, her legs wrapping around him, brining him into her, closing any distance they felt from the previous evening.
But just as quickly as the passion had ignited, it threatened to freeze over. Shoto pulled back suddenly, his body tense. Ren understood immediately - he was struggling to keep his quirk under control. She bit her lip, meeting his gaze in the soft light. Delicate waves of hot and cold air made its way to her as she watched the young hero struggle to maintain his composure.
"It's okay," she whispered, her voice gentle and reassuring. She could see the conflict in his eyes, the desire warring with his fear of hurting her. With a small smile, she added, "I'm flattered it only takes about fifteen seconds to completely unravel your control." It wasn't particularly funny, but the joke served its purpose. Shoto relaxed slightly, understanding that Ren wasn't upset, that she was still here with him.
Guilt washed over Shoto as he looked across at her as he knelt at the foot of the bed, her eyes were full of understanding and a hint of disappointment. "I'm sorry, Ren," he said, his voice low and filled with regret.
Ren propped herself up on her elbows, her silk nightdress sliding smoothly against her skin. "It's okay," she replied, her tone understanding but tinged with obvious disappointment. He could sense how upset she really was; he had been learning to read her body language, to understand the nuances of her expressions. The way she licked her lips as though apologising to them that they weren't all over him, keeping her knees together as she suddenly felt a little closed off from him.
Shoto's mismatched eyes watched her closely. "I'll be your slave," he offered, his voice serious. "What would you have me do?"
Ren's frown transformed into a smile, and Shoto almost laughed as he saw the mischievous thoughts dancing behind her eyes. After a few moments Ren said something that, unsurprisingly, surprised him. "Run away with me," she said, her voice filled with a mix of playfulness and longing.
Shoto's shoulders slumped slightly. "I'm serious," he said flatly. "What shall I do?"
"And I'm serious," Ren insisted, her grin widening. "Run away with me."
"How would that work?"
"The weekend of my birthday. We go away for 48 hours and come straight back before term starts again."
Shoto nodded, contemplating her words.
"Okay... when is that?"
Ren stared at him with a mix of disbelief and amusement. "We have the same birthday." A slight pause.
"And when is that?" Shoto asked, genuinely confused.
Ren's gaze softened as she realised there had never been any pressing need for Shoto to remember his own birthday. "January 11th," she said gently.
Shoto, seeing how much this meant to Ren, the way her eyes lit up with longing and pleading, nodded. "Okay, let's run away."
They smiled at each other, the tension from earlier completely dissipated. In that moment, surrounded by the trappings of luxury in Ren's modern bedroom, they were just two teenagers on the brink of love, planning a small rebellion against the world that constantly demanded so much from them.
"Come here," Ren said kindly, holding out an arm. The young hero fell onto the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her. The tension of the previous evening faded away as they realised that despite the challenges they faced, the constant push and pull of their quirks, the expectations placed upon them by their families and society, they had found something real in each other. It was easy to forget, in the complex chaos of the world outside, that this is was worth fighting for.
An hour later, Shoto had left for Endeavor's Agency, leaving Ren alone in the vast apartment which somehow looked alien to her following the villain's attack. She stood in the kitchen which was an odd mix of traditional Japanese cooking utensils and crockery, and more modern professional kitchen equipment. She stood in a black turtleneck and pencil skirt that felt like armour, preparing her for a day of shadowing at her father's media empire. A cup of tea was warming her hands as she stared into space with a vacant expression. She could hear the security team working on changing the locks but it sounded far away.
Louder were the thoughts swirling around in her brain; the villain's words to her, the argument with Shoto, the pain of the burn on her neck, the lingering effects of her quirk. This was all too much for her to handle; just when she and Shoto had a few days of normalcy! Why couldn't this be easy? She thought about all the pressure Shoto harboured on his shoulders; the weight of his father's expectations, the mundane but utterly necessary school work he had, his growing public recognition, his secret relationship and now…her safety. Was she even worth it?
She frowned and bit her lip; if only she could have defended herself yesterday, he wouldn't have to worry so much. In fact, if she had some control over her quirk she could use it to protect herself from Shoto's burns as well. It was true their quirks interacted; she could amplify his affect on her but she could also temper it, manage it, weaken him…if only she knew how. She glanced down at her hand, a selection of silver and gold rings on her fingers glittered in the morning light. Flexing her fingers as though she could see the quirk through her skin, Ren felt hopeful and hopeless at the same time. She clearly had the power to fix everything. But she didn't even really know what her quirk was, what it could do, how she could harness it. If only she could find someone who could help her, keep it discrete, not judge her or sell her secret to the papers.
"Ah!" Ren jumped as the security team suddenly banged something in the hallway. The presence of strangers in her home made Ren uneasy, memories of the villain's intrusion still fresh in her mind. Seeking distraction from the overwhelming thoughts in her head, she put her hair up into a ponytail and wandered over to the bag of Christmas presents that had fallen during her encounter with the villain.
As she rifled through the bag, her hand closed around a slim dark box from a stationery store. A wave of guilt washed over her as she remembered her visit to Rei just a few days ago. She had gone to the hospital without Shoto's knowledge, with the secret mission that perhaps Ren could get Shoto a Christmas gift on behalf of his mother. To her delight Rei had grinned happily and told her exactly what the get.
Now, as Ren opened the box, her heart sank. She opened it up to reveal a selection of high quality sketching pencils. She had been so surprised when Rei revealed Shoto may still have a talent for drawing. Ren frowned as she inspected the carefully arranged pencils that were likely broken from the fall, their lead compromised. One slot was empty, a pencil must have fallen out of the box when the bag fell yesterday. Looking around her, Ren got onto her knees and swept her arm under the sofa in the hopes the pencil had rolled underneath it.
Her fingers brushed against something else - something that didn't belong. Pulling it out, Ren found herself holding a brown package tied with a simple white string. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart stuttered to a stop as she recognised it as the package the villain had tried to give her.
For a moment, Ren hesitated. Opening it could be dangerous, could pull her deeper into whatever game the villain was playing. But the journalist in her, the part that craved answers and thrived on uncovering truths, couldn't resist. Plus, she was a sucker for a little chaos. She could barely resist the temptation to add a little more trouble into her life.
With trembling fingers, she untied the string and unwrapped the package and tipped its contents into her free hand. Inside was a VHS tape, its outdated technology almost laughable in her modern, high-tech apartment. Ren turned it over in her hands, her mind racing with possibilities. The VHS tape's plastic case was cool against her skin. In the morning light streaming through the windows, she could see smudges on its surface - fingerprints perhaps, left by the villain. The thought made her shudder, bringing back vivid memories of his scarred face and manic eyes.
She knew she needed a VCR to watch it - a relic from a bygone era. Where did she know a place full of relics from bygone eras? With a small laugh as though everything was adding up, she realised she where she needed to go. The university newspaper office, with its perpetually outdated equipment, would surely have a VCR tucked away somewhere.
Ren's eyes flickered to her watch, a quiet curse escaping her lips. Time, ever her enemy, threatened to make her late. She shrugged on her tan winter coat, its weight settling on her shoulders like armor. Bag in hand, she approached the hallway mirror, a silent witness to her daily transformations.
The glass reflected more than just her image; it revealed the toll of recent events - worry etched into her forehead, a pallor that spoke of sleepless nights, the angry red of her burn peeking from beneath her turtleneck. For a moment, she allowed herself to see the truth.
Then, with a blink, she summoned her media smile - bright, polished, and utterly false. The mask slid into place with practiced ease, a shield against the world's prying eyes.
As she turned to leave, she heard the VHS tape slide against the leather of her laptop sleeve and wondered: was she just chasing trouble, or had it finally caught up with her?