As carefully as he was able to, Thomas disentangled himself from Liv, slid off her bed and went to walk out of her room. First though, he stopped to look at her for a few seconds. Her curtain-cut bangs fell over her shut eyes but the purple circles beneath them were still visible. There was no way she didn't know why she had trouble sleeping, he thought with a twang in his heart, fearing it had something to do with himself, his selfish behavior this fall.
During their time apart he hadn't wanted to annoy Arvid with questions about Liv and her well being, it hadn't felt right, but now he wasn't sure that that had been the right thing to do. There was something not quite right, an absence of something that used to be there in her, a light in her eyes, a notion of enthusiasm and caring. Still, he felt that in just the short time he had talked to her now, traces of it had glinted through again. A date, something dark and jealous whispered and he had to force himself to walk towards the door, not to shake her awake again and demand she tell him everything about this date, this person, their every interaction.
Arvid met him right outside her room, eyeing him curiously.
"You talk?"
"A little, yeah."
"Did you find out what's wrong with her?", he asked and Thomas realized with dismay that Arvid was worried too.
"Well... kind of. I left things so badly with her at the end of summer and that's been bothering her, not knowing what's going on or what my true intentions were."
For a second, Thomas expected Arvid to get angry again, to look appalled and tell Thomas to back off Liv, but he didn't. Instead, he only smiled a little sheepishly.
"You know she really loves you, Tommy. Christ, you should have seen the way she looked when I told her you were coming today. It was the first time in a long while that I saw genuine emotion in her face."
"Has she been like this for long then?", he asked, frowning.
"I suppose. You know I didn't want to discuss it with you while you were finally starting to get better."
"I get it. I just..."
"I know", Arvid stated and to Thomas surprise there was acceptance in his voice.
For a second, Thomas contemplated asking Arvid about Liv's date, but stopped himself, figuring there was only so far he could push it.
"I'm seeing her tomorrow. Thought we'd go for dinner and I'll clear things up, see more where she's at."
He hadn't been asking for Arvid's permission or anything but Arvid nodded slowly.
"And then you'll keep seeing each other?"
"If she wants that, then yes."
"Of course she wants that", Arvid snorted, "Nothing would make her happier, I'm sure. And for the record", that same smile appeared in his face again, "I want you both happy. I do. Despite how I reacted this summer."
Thomas let his gaze rise to meet Arvid and smiled back.
The following evening Liv stood before her mirror, fidgeting a little nervously with her earrings. Last night, she had slept all of 16 hours and when she woke up she thought it might all have been some kind of sleep deprived hallucination. Then she saw the text from Thomas where he asked her out for dinner and was ecstatically relieved.
It felt bizarre, still, as she sat next to him in his car, headed to the local, kind of fancy, restaurant.
"You sleep well last night?", he asked her casually and she caught a slight curve at the corner of his mouth.
"Yeah, like 15 hours or something", she smiled, realizing she did feel rested for the first time in ages.
"Good. You needed it."
"Are you gonna start grilling me about it again?"
"Eventually yes, but not now"
"Great", she quirked up, "Then would you maybe... only if you want to of course..."
"Hm?"
"Tell me about your...", Liv hesitated.
"Treatment? Recovery?", he guessed and she nodded.
For the remainder of the car ride he told her about his process, the first turbulent, foggy weeks in inpatient care, and after that the treatment plan which comprised regular contact with a psychologist and a diet-specialist.
"Are you on any meds?", she asked.
"No. Just the earthy stuff, breath-work and CBT."
"And you feel better?"
It took a moment before he answered.
"The absolute majority of the time, yeah I do."
"I'm proud of you Thomas", she murmured and caught his eyes for a second just as they were about to park.
They got a table by the window. It was one of those places that looked like a date-night restaurant from a movie, and that's how she felt sitting across from him too, as if she was acting out a scene. The large, shiny wine glasses, the soft warm light from the candles, and the background jazz mixed with chatter from the other guests.
"Was this what your last date was like?", he asked her, unable to stay off the topic that had been occupying his mind the last 24 hours a second longer.
Blushing, she shook her head.
"I told you about that?"
"Not really, you just mentioned it right before you fell asleep."
"You know... I thought you were done with me."
"I know", he looked guilty, "I'm just curious"
That was a lie, and he feared he wasn't working hard enough on the sell.
"Well... It was with Wilma's current boyfriend's best mate. I believe his name was Noa."
A wave of satisfaction rolled over him at her almost having forgotten his name.
"And what was this Noa like?", Thomas asked, a pretense of humor coating his voice, "A catch?"
"Not to me, not then", Liv shook her head again, remembering the dreadful night when she had kept on zooming out while Noa was talking to her, probably being nice to her.
All the time she had kept imagining she saw Thomas. In the bowling hall, on the street outside, in the crowded bar they had attended afterwards.
"I suppose there was nothing really wrong with him. When we kissed goodnight he pulled away as soon as he noticed I wasn't into it much."
"He kissed you?", Thomas's voice was hard and rough and Liv's eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise and amusement.
"He pecked my cheek for briefly three seconds before he, as I said, took the hint."
"That's not impressive. If he had been more attentive he wouldn't have come near you like that in the first place."
"You know I missed this too", Liv said and rolled her eyes, her hand grasping Thomas's, toying gently with his fingers.
"Sorry", he said, suddenly looking taken aback, "I don't have any right to act like this do I?"
"It's kinda cute. But you have nothing to be concerned about, I didn't want to see him even when I thought you had dumped me."
Seeming reassured he bent forwards to softly peck her cheek and she let out a soft exhale, tilted her head so that his lips met hers instead.
"Bread for the table?"
A waitress had appeared and they drew apart, Liv's cheeks pink with embarrassment.
As they ordered the waitress asked if they wanted any wine with the food.
"No thank you", Thomas said quickly.
"Alright. There's a great Riesling for the fish, though", the waitress said and gave him a flirty smile.
Liv guessed she assumed Liv was much younger than Thomas and thus too young to drink.
"I'm off it, thanks though", he answered and smiled back tightly.
"Cudos. I could never", she giggled and took away their glasses.
"She so wants you", Liv told him as soon as she was out of earshot.
"No she doesn't", he rolled his eyes.
"She does too! Christ, if she was a man she would have knocked our glasses over with her boner", she muttered and Thomas almost spat out the water he had just sipped.
"God, I'd almost forgotten how absolutely brilliant you are, Livvy."
That wiped the frown off her face and she leaned in to kiss him again.
"So... What's the plan now? Did you... did you want to get back to the initial plan after this?"
It took all her effort to sound somewhat neutral about it, to not betray how much the idea of not seeing him at all irked her.
"I thought about it", he said, "I even spoke to one of the psychologists about it. I hope that was okay with you."
"Sure."
"And he... He thought it would be a good idea to maybe take things a little slow. But... If you're open to it, maybe a date once a week?"
The suggestion pleased her.
"A date?"
"I mean it could be anything. Me picking you up from practice, dinner with Arvid and Maria, the movies."
"Wow. Yeah, that would be great", she nodded, "And we see how things progress?"
Thomas nodded.