When Ma Jingguo's eyes fluttered open to the soft glow of morning, he found himself enveloped in a warmth that stretched beyond the blankets. He turned his head gently, his heart catching at the sight of Mu Dishi, peacefully asleep beside him, facing the wall. A quiet gasp escaped his lips; could this really be real? After the raw, tender intensity of their "one night together," he couldn't quite believe he was actually waking up next to Mu Dishi, tangible and serene, within arm's reach.
Ma Jingguo moved closer to Mu Dishi, reaching out his right arm to hold him. Then he whispered softly against Mu Dishi's neck, "Xiao shushu, it's morning." He kissed Mu Dishi's neck.
"I know it is morning. I am waiting for you to get out of my room," Mu Dishi said coldly.
"Xiao shushu, at this point, why are you still trying to chase me away?" Ma Jingguo asked.
"I don't need you," Mu Dishi replied.
"But I need you," Ma Jingguo insisted, kissing Mu Dishi's neck again.
In anger, Mu Dishi turned around and grabbed Ma Jingguo's neck. "If you do that again, I will kill you."
Ma Jingguo closed his eyes with a smile. "Sure, kill me. I would rather die by your hands than other people's."
"You are not scared?" Mu Dishi questioned.
Ma Jingguo shook his head, still smiling. "No, for xiao shushu... I am willing."
Mu Dishi released his hand from Ma Jingguo's neck. "Go away and stop chasing me."
"Xiao shushu, after last night, I knew the one I want to spend my life with is you," Ma Jingguo confessed.
"Never speak of last night ever again," Mu Dishi said coldly.
"If xiao shushu doesn't want me to mention it again, then xiao shushu should never mention chasing me away," Ma Jingguo countered.
Mu Dishi didn't answer.
"Do we have a deal?" Ma Jingguo pressed.
Mu Dishi remained silent.
"Xiao shushu, there is something on your face. Let me wipe it for you," Ma Jingguo said softly. He turned Mu Dishi's face toward him and kissed Mu Dishi's lips.
In anger, Mu Dishi struck Ma Jingguo hard on the right side of his chest. The force sent Ma Jingguo sprawling onto the floor.
In pain on the floor, Ma Jingguo laughed. "Xiao shushu, it hurt. Don't use so much force. What if I die? Who will love you?" He got up, rubbing the middle of his chest with his right hand. "Xiao shushu, do you know you look extremely handsome when you are angry?"
"Scram," Mu Dishi commanded.
"I won't," Ma Jingguo retorted.
Mu Dishi looked at Ma Jingguo angrily. He was completely humiliated by Ma Jingguo. He wasn't sure how to face Ma Jingguo after what they did last night. He didn't hate what happened, nor did he truly like it. The only other person who had done such things with him was Wang Biming. Then he asked himself whether he hated Ma Jingguo, and the answer was no. He still thought of Ma Jingguo as only his friend, so when did their friendship become such a thing? Such things only happened when two people had feelings for each other. When had he started to have feelings for Ma Jingguo? He kept reminding himself that the only person he loved was still Wang Biming.
Ma Jingguo walked to the bed and asked, "Xiao shushu... are you thinking about chasing me away again?"
"Let us have a man-to-man talk," Mu Dishi proposed.
"What do xiao shushu want to talk about?" Ma Jingguo asked, sitting on the bed.
"Jingguo, you are still young. You have a bright future ahead of you. I am thinking, Kuo Jin Song's daughter, the one who is always with you, is a perfect match for you."
"Xiao shushu, don't try to be my matchmaker. I've chosen," Ma Jingguo stated.
"I am not trying to be your matchmaker. I am speaking honestly. There are many benefits to marrying Kuo Jin Song's daughter," Mu Dishi insisted.
"What about you?" Ma Jingguo asked.
"What about me?" Mu Dishi countered.
"I promised myself I am marrying you. If I marry Shijie, then who are you going to marry?"
Ma Jingguo's question touched Mu Dishi's heart. Wang Biming had promised to marry him when he turned eighteen, but that had never happened. For Mu Dishi, a promise was nothing but hollow breaths on the lips. Too many people in his life had made promises to him, but they never kept them. Their empty promises made Mu Dishi no longer believe in the word "promise."
The day of Mu Dishi's fifteenth birthday, Wang Biming walked into Mu Dishi's bedroom.
"Dishi, Aunty Mu asks for you to hurry up," Wang Biming said.
Mu Dishi turned around, wearing a red outfit. "How is it? My mom made it for me."
Wang Biming smiled. "No matter what clothes my Dishi wears, my Dishi is always beautiful. Come closer to me." Mu Dishi walked closer to Wang Biming. Wang Biming removed his necklace and fixed it to Mu Dishi's hair. "Your hair is too plain, and my necklace is the perfect ornament."
"I will return it after the celebration," Mu Dishi said.
Wang Biming kissed Mu Dishi's lips. "Return it to me only when you no longer love me." He smiled at the blushing Mu Dishi. "Dishi, let us get married when you turn eighteen."
Mu Dishi smiled and nodded.
Wang Biming kissed Mu Dishi's forehead.
The memory of Wang Biming's promised came quickly and then left quickly. Mu Dishi sighed. "I don't plan to get married. Everyone should return to where they belong."
"Xiao shushu, no matter what, you will not let me return with you, right?" Ma Jingguo asked.
"You better stay here with your sect," Mu Dishi advised.
"Xiao shushu, I always know how I feel. This feeling tells me that I want to grow old with you," Ma Jingguo confessed.
"Why force me, when I don't feel for you like how you feel for me?" Mu Dishi said coldly.
Ma Jingguo sighed, hurt deeply. Mu Dishi had given him an answer he did not want to hear, and it pierced him. Mu Dishi was the only person he loved more than himself. He decided that since Mu Dishi's feelings were not the same as his, he would stop forcing Mu Dishi. After all, this person was someone he would always love, and for whom he would willingly give up everything, even his life, if Mu Dishi asked for it.
Ma Jingguo sighed hurtfully. "Xiao shushu, I will not bother you anymore from now on. I want you to know, even if everyone leaves you behind...I will never leave you as long as you still want me. When you need me, I will give up everything I am doing and come for you." He was deeply hurt when he said these words. "Xiao shushu, let us have an equal trade."
"What kind of trade?" Mu Dishi asked.
"Tell me how my little sister died, and I will never see you again," Ma Jingguo proposed.
"Why do you want to know?" Mu Dishi asked.
"I know the story from Senior Yong Hao and my Shimu. The only story they cannot tell me is the death of my one-month-old sister."
"Alright, after I tell you the story..." Mu Dishi began.
"I will never see you again," Ma Jingguo finished, his voice firm.
"Okay, equal trade," Mu Dishi agreed. He sat on the edge of the bed. "I was the only survivor of the entire Mu household because Mu Jiao Long hid me inside a hidden wall. He blocked all my nerves, so I could not move or speak. I could only watch my family being killed one by one in front of my eyes. I watched as the Yong dog and many of his disciples came into the meeting hall and took all the bodies away."
During that time of Shooting Down The Dragon Campain, Mu Dishi sat inside the hidden wall. He watched Yong Hao and some of Sword Village's disciples come in and take the bodies out of the meeting hall. He sat there until twelve hours had passed, and the blocked nerves were released one by one. He turned on the switch on the armchair; then the wall moved away, and he came out. He got up from Mu Jiao Long's chair and walked down the ten steps. He sat on the last step, crying, thinking about what he should do next, when a pregnant woman and a man walked inside the meeting hall.
Lin Daiyu, who was eight months pregnant, said, "We are too late."
"Look," Ma Shufen said, pointing to Mu Dishi.
Lin Daiyu walked slowly toward Mu Dishi. "This shidi, which clan or sect do you belong to?"
"Mu," Mu Dishi answered hatefully.
Ma Shufen then said happily, "Thank heaven, there is still one Mu member left."
Mu Dishi looked at Ma Shufen. "Why are you so happy? Aren't you people coming to kill us?"
"You are wrong," Ma Shufen replied. "Many years ago, I was badly hurt, and Mu Jiao Long had saved me. I brought the Ma Clan here to save Mu Jiao Long, but I was too late. As we walked up Mu Village, we saw blood everywhere, but not a single body."
"Sword Village came and took them away. I must go down to Sword Village and reclaim the bodies," Mu Dishi stated, rushing out of the meeting hall.
Lin Daiyu grabbed onto Mu Dishi's right wrist. "Have you ever heard, 'Why fear there will be no firewood when the mountain is still full of green trees'?"
"I know you are angry now and want revenge, but not today," Ma Shufen added. "The three sects and four clans are very skilled. A real man needs patience to succeed. There is no shame in seeking revenge in ten years."
Mu Dishi sobbed, "Why are people so cruel? They killed my entire clan because of a stupid map."
"Do they have the map?" Ma Shufen asked.
Mu Dishi shook his head. "I have the map."
"Shidi, don't worry, I will protect you until you are ready to seek revenge," Ma Shufen promised.
"Listen to him. When the time comes... The Ma Clan will pick up our swords and help you," Lin Daiyu added.
Mu Dishi wiped his tears. "I didn't even know your names."
"I am Ma Shufen, and this is my wife, Lin Daiyu. We are from the Ma Clan," Ma Shufen introduced.
"Thank you," Mu Dishi said.
"Let us be sworn brothers. This is the only way I can protect you safely. From now on, you must pretend that you've forgiven those who had killed the Mu Villagers," Ma Shufen proposed.
"Are you willing?" Lin Daiyu asked.
Mu Dishi nodded.
Mu Dishi and Ma Shufen both kneeled down on the floor and raised their right three fingers.
"I am Ma Shufen," Ma Shufen declared.
"I am Mu Dishi," Mu Dishi responded.
"We promise to be sworn brothers from this day on. We will share all hardships and happiness together," Ma Shufen stated. He looked at Mu Dishi. "I am much older than you, so you can call me da ge."
"Da ge," Mu Dishi said.
"Didi," Ma Shufen smiled.
"Let us quickly get out of here," Lin Daiyu urged.
Two months later, inside the Ma household, everyone was busy preparing for the full moon celebration of the infant who had just turned one month old.
As the guests began seating, Lin Daiyu went to get the baby girl, but after some time had passed, Lin Daiyu did not return.
"Dishi, go get your sister-in-law," Ma Shufen told Mu Dishi.
Mu Dishi stood up and walked to Ma Shufen and Lin Daiyu's bedroom. Mu Dishi knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was worried for their safety, so he opened the door, which was not locked. Mu Dishi walked inside. When Mu Dishi walked into the bedroom, he saw Lin Daiyu holding the baby girl, sitting on the bed.
"Da ge wants you to hurry up," Mu Dishi said.
Lin Daiyu smiled at Mu Dishi. "Dishi, come here." She tapped on the bed.
Mu Dishi moved closer toward Lin Daiyu and the baby girl, but he did not sit on the bed.
"Dishi, some people say, after a woman gives birth to a child, she will feel like a virgin again," Lin Daiyu remarked.
Lin Daiyu put the baby girl on the bed and stretched her body closer to Mu Dishi. She reached her right hand and grabbed Mu Dishi's left hand, then placed Mu Dishi's hand on her right breast.
Mu Dishi quickly pulled his hand away. He was confused and in shock. "What are you doing?"
Lin Daiyu then picked the baby girl from the bed and took out a small dagger, placing it on the baby's abdomen. She calmly said, "Dishi, why are you keeping the map? We are now family, and this is your niece, who is as innocent as your little sister."
"Why are you saying this?" Mu Dishi demanded.
Lin Daiyu then showed her true colors. "You give me the map and this little girl lives. You don't give me the map and this little girl dies."
Mu Dishi recalled the innocent Mu Mei, who was brutally murdered. His sweet, innocent sister, who was so beautiful on that bloody day, didn't even know what death meant. His heart ached. Why did everyone want the stupid map? If this deadly map could save this innocent life, so be it. He took out the sheepskin map and gave it to Lin Daiyu.
Lin Daiyu took the sheepskin map and tucked it inside her inner robe. She transferred her dagger from her left hand to her right, and she stabbed the baby on the neck. She threw the baby onto the bed and ran out.
Mu Dishi couldn't believe what he had just seen. He finally understood why the Ma Clan had treated him so well. They were nice and willing to help him, but with a dark purpose. Lin Daiyu had taught him an important lesson. He walked to the bed and turned the baby girl around. The baby was already dead, her eyes open. Mu Dishi used his hand and closed her little eyelids. He pulled out the dagger from her neck as blood smeared both his hands. He took out his own handkerchief and wiped the blood from the dagger. He picked up the scabbard and sheathed the dagger, tucking the dagger onto his belt sash. As he was wiping the blood from the baby's neck, Ma Shufen walked in, charging at him with his sword.
Mu Dishi defeated Ma Shufen with less than fifteen moves. Mu Dishi struck Ma Shufen hard on the chest. The force sent Ma Shufen out of the bedroom door and landed onto the courtyard before the bedroom chamber. Mu Dishi came out slowly and was met with many people of different clans and sects who had attended the baby's full moon celebration.
Upon realizing Yong Gui had already recounted the next portion of his family's history, Ma Jingguo promptly cut Mu Dishi off. "Xiao shushu, you can stop. I know the rest of the story," Ma Jingguo said, looking at Mu Dishi. "Xiao shushu, that dagger is the same dagger you've always carried with you?"
Mu Dishi nodded.
"For what?" Ma Jingguo asked.
"To remind myself that other than myself, everyone who is nice to me always comes with a purpose, even you," Mu Dishi said firmly.
"Alright," Ma Jingguo conceded. He turned and looked at Mu Dishi, who sat handsomely on the bed, not even looking at him. He gave Mu Dishi a wide smile with his big, round, innocent eyes, knowing that Mu Dishi would not turn to look at him. "Xiao shushu, goodbye." Ma Jingguo walked to the door and then asked, "Xiao shushu, who is Wang Biming?"
"Someone that I can only meet in my dream," Mu Dishi replied without looking at Ma Jingguo.
"Do you love him?" Ma Jingguo asked, tears streaming down his face at the painful realization that Mu Dishi, even as they said their goodbyes, stubbornly avoided his eyes.
"Mm," Mu Dishi confirmed.
Ma Jingguo opened the door and stepped out. He took one last look at Mu Dishi for the last time. His heart hurt, knowing that Mu Dishi still loved Wang Biming and acknowledged him without hesitation. He gave Mu Dishi one final smile and then closed the door.