Tanya.
The name hung in Aki's thoughts, unspoken, as he watched her.
She remained seated on the sofa, legs tucked beneath her, her face buried in an arm resting on the cool window ledge. She didn't lift her head. He was lost in thought, puzzled over her sudden appearance, when a startling realization struck him.
"Wait!" He almost choked on the internal exclamation.
She never actually said she wanted to break up. Only, "I won't see you anymore." He frowned as the old confusion returned. She went to Australia right after that. Isn't that effectively the same thing?
A quiet moment passed before her voice, slightly muffled, emerged. 'Your habit of wandering alone at night hasn't changed, has it?'
She finally raised her head, taking a delicate sip from the teacup cradled in her hands. A shiver still traced across her shoulders, explaining the chill she'd endured. Aki chose to sit a distance away. Holding his coffee cup with both hands for its warmth, he studied Tania, waiting.
'Your tolerance for the cold is still as low as ever,' Aki observed, neatly sidestepping her question. "So why were you waiting out there in it?"
Tania offered no immediate response, simply continuing to sip her tea, her gaze drifting.
He remembered their first meeting vividly. He was twenty-three that time. Tania was three years his junior. At first, his affection had been that of a senior colleague for a promising newcomer in their shared profession. It was her spontaneous nature, her uniquely captivating way of seeing the world, that had truly ensnared his heart. Perhaps that singular vision was also why she had become such a celebrated photographer.
Aki was always affectionate towards her, knowing she'd grown up alone in an orphanage. Yet, she possessed a remarkable cheerfulness that often belied that past. His upbringing had been shuttled between divorced parents before finding stability with his grandmother. His grandmother's death, when he was twenty, had turned him into an early independent.
He'd found solace and success in his career, a profession he loved deeply. He was careful to mask the extent of his feelings towards Tanya, especially since they worked in the same field and shared the same circle of friends. He was still undeniably infatuated with her, but showing it would hurt his pride.
She didn't cry, nor did she show anger while leaving. It is those little things that he ignores that are hard on her. And she is the type who wouldn't complain even if she goes crazy. After three months, he realised that they didn't break up. How stupid he can be!! And he did everything to keep himself busy in these past months to ignore every time he thought about her. Yet he followed her every activity.
He doesn't know what to say now.
She peeked with her eyes, head staying like that, 'You just realised it after seeing me now, didn't you?'
Aki didn't say anything. She is still looking outside the window, placing her head on the sofa, watching the sunrise slowly.
'Hey, Aki! A voice called him.
'Hmm.' Aki unconsciously responded.
He sat beside Aki, 'You ok?'
Aki doesn't know how he would answer
'You know it's not your fault. We all know you could never let go of Mei. Don't blame yourself. It was an accident.' He consoled Aki.
Aki didn't say anything. Just kept staring at him. Every year since Mei had died, every friend would come to visit her on her death anniversary. They would mourn for her on this day, then when it's over, they'll go back to their own life. That's how it's been for fifteen years.
'I'm fine. Thanks for coming.' Aki smiles
'Of course, I'll come! How could I not? She is our friend after all. Wherever she is now, she must be having a lot of fun, I'm sure of it. You know how she is, right!?' The friend recalled their past.
Yes, He knows. Because she is still the only person that he kept in his heart.
Elven pm..
Aki past two days in the office because of his work. He didn't contact Tanya, nor did she. He was shocked by his own foolishness.
Suddenly, that cat appeared before him like it was waiting for Aki to come. He found himself at the train station. He didn't realise that. It's his habit to walk to the station to take the train home, then walk to his building. Otherwise, he doesn't have the time to walk during working days.
'Oh it's you! Mr Azusa.' Joshua greeted him with a smile.
Aki didn't tell him his name. He frowns, "It's happening again." Those uncomfortable feelings. He should avoid coming here for some time.
'You are on time today, sir. The train is on time.' Joshua showed the time.
Fifteen minutes left until the train arrives. Aki hesitates before entering the waiting room, yet he enters.
The same feeling as it was that day. The stationmaster poured a second cup and offered Aki to drink.
'Thanks but I can't have it today, I already had too many. I won't be able to sleep if I have more.' Aki doubts that the tea was mixed with something that made him sleep that day.
The stationmaster smiled and offered it again, 'One more cup won't harm much if you already have too many. It's boring to drink alone when there is company.'
Aki hesitated again. But took the cup and pretended to take a sip.
The rough concrete of the water tank platform on the school roof was a familiar comfort to Aki. He was skipping literature class again, this being his preferred sanctuary. His eyes were closed, drifting.
"Hey! Stop him!"
Aki's eyes snapped open at the shout. He scrambled up, peering over the edge of the tank. A figure, a boy by the looks of it, was sprinting towards the rooftop railing. Trespassing. If a teacher caught them, Aki would be in trouble too, just for being there.
"Hey! Wait up, you!" a guard's voice bellowed from the rooftop access door.
The boy didn't even glance back. Aki was unsure about what was happening and instinctively ducked further behind the water tank. He watched as the boy reached the access door, slammed it shut, and then, with a swift movement, jammed something into the lock mechanism from the outside, effectively breaking it.
'Crazy!' Aki thought, but as long as it bought him more uninterrupted nap time, he wasn't complaining.
A muffled shout came from the other side of the door: "Hey! Open up!"
Then, the unbelievable happened. The boy turned and, without a moment's hesitation, sprinted full tilt towards the railing. Pure instinct took over Aki and he launched himself from behind the tank, intercepting the figure with a hard shove just feet from the edge. They both tumbled to the ground.
'Ow! That hurts! Are you f—ing crazy?' the figure yelled, the voice surprisingly high-pitched, almost… feminine.
Aki, stunned and winded, stared. The "boy" was a girl.
'That's my line!' Aki shot back, scrambling to his feet. 'What in the world were you doing? Trying to commit suicide?!'
She sat up, rubbing her arm, a defiant glint in her eyes. 'Well… I was going on an adventure.'
Aki could only stare, utterly perplexed. 'An adventure?'
'I want to see what's beyond this life,' she declared, her expression earnest. 'I want to experience it.'
It finally clicked. She was a complete nutcase. A laugh, incredulous and slightly breathless, escaped him. 'And who, exactly, were you planning to tell about this grand adventure of yours? And how?'
The girl blinked, then a reckless grin spread across her face. She grabbed Aki's hand, her grip surprisingly strong. 'Come with me then!'
Aki snatched his hand back as if he had been burned. 'I am not crazy!'
'Okay, fine!' she huffed, scrambling up. 'Then don't try to stop me!'
She made another dash for the railing. Aki, reacting instantly, lunged and grabbed the back of her school uniform collar, yanking her back.
She struggled, twisting and pulling.'Hey! Let go! Let go of my collar!'
Suddenly, the jammed rooftop door burst open with a groan of tortured metal, revealing their homeroom teacher and the vice-principal, their faces grim.
The girl froze, whispering under her breath, 'Oh, fish. I'm doomed.'
Aki knew he was equally stuck.
In the principal's office, the man himself regarded Aki with an unreadable expression.
'And who are you?' the principal finally asked, his voice dangerously calm.
'Azusa Akio, sir.' Aki replies.
'Why are you even here? This young lady was the only one reported on the roof. Go on, shoo! Get out of here.'
'Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! Have a good day!' Aki practically fled the room, immensely relieved.
As he hurried down the corridor, he heard the principal's voice, colder now, addressing the girl. "So, Mei. Would you care to share exactly what you were thinking up there?"
That was all Aki caught before he rounded the corner, but later, he overheard two teachers discussing it in hushed tones. "She's always been a strange one, that Mei. Always off floating in her own little world."
A shrill ringing jolted him awake.
He was in his bed, sunlight striping the room. 'Did I dream about that again?' he wondered, the remnants of the vivid memory clinging to him.
The doorbell shrilled again, insistent. And again.
Scrambling out of bed, Aki hurried to the door. A glance through the peephole confirmed it. Tanya. He swung the door open. She stood there, with a worried expression, 'Why weren't you opening the door! Where were you?'
'What's wrong! I was sleeping! I was in a deep sleep, that's all.'
'Where were you?'. Tanya asked again.
'I told you I was sleeping!' Aki lost his patience.
'No! Where have you been since last week?' Tanya stared at him while waiting for an answer.
'I was working for two days and lost track of time…' Aki stopped finding no memory after that.
'You're not at the office! Nowhere, we could not find you for one week, and you suddenly came back last night and behaved like nothing happened! Tanya was rather worried than angry.
Aki didn't understand a single word of what Tania was saying. He brushed her off and went inside, closing the door. He sat on the sofa, covering his face. He was feeling tired.
'You're last seen at the station getting on the train, ' Tanya added.
'So?' Aki waited for what Tanya was trying to say.
'You didn't get off at your station,' as Tanya said, Aki sat straight when he heard that.
"One week?" Aki thought.
'Senpai! Did you get off somewhere else?' Tanya's voice seemed frustrated.
Aki doesn't know what he should say. He thought he was getting better. Suddenly, he yelled at Tanya, 'I don't know, ok?! And for God's sake, Tanya, please stop! You don't have to follow me and think I am going to be crazy again.'
'How can you say so, you aren't gonna be? It's clear from your expression that you don't remember anything. But why couldn't I see where you got off ?' Tanya charged him again.
'So what are you implying now?' Aki's voice became low.
'Well, it's true, you have the habit of forgetting and disappearing, but it was the first time I couldn't get any hold of you, and you are back by yourself. Do you seriously....' A sound of glass breaking interrupted their conversation.
Aki went into the kitchen. The broken glass pieces were on the floor. Tanya went there when she noticed Aki wasn't getting back. He was clearing the place,
'Don't come in here.' Aki didn't look at her.
After that, when Aki was setting out another set of glasses, he found a cup on the dining table. Aki steps back as he sees the cup.
"What is he looking at?" Tania too saw the cup and understood why Aki was frozen.
It was Mei's cup. Tanya says nothing. She thinks that Aki has kept it there.
She knows that Aki is traumatised by the accident. Not just traumatised, there was a time he used to think Mei was around him. It was so many years after that he got normal. Sometimes there were some symptoms of Aki being weird, but other than that, everything was normal.
Aki was looking to his side out of the corner of his eye. He could see a vague shadow. It was like that at the station. Aki hurried Tanya away because he didn't want to talk.
He shut the door, stepping into the dining room.
Empty.
Except for the cup. He hadn't left it there.
"Mei! Is that you? Are you here?" Aki called, a desperate plea hanging in the air.
Nothing.
Just the hollow echo of his voice.
"Mei!" he tried again, but silence was his only reply.
Aki crumpled to his knees, burying his face in his hands as tears streamed down. Outside, one window curtain hung strangely still, while its partner danced wildly in the wind.
The sudden blare of his phone startled him. He got up and went to his room.
The curtains were now billow freely behind him.
After work, on his way home from a site, Aki paused. His old school was just a few blocks away. He turned, drawn by an invisible pull. It was nighttime, so only the guards were present. They greeted him, accustomed to his occasional visits. They let him in. The familiar scent of aged wood and dust, the worn stairs, the silent walls – everything was as he remembered.
He found his way to his old classroom. He'd visited them all over the years, each faint echo of the past. He settled into the chair he used to occupy, his fingers tracing the grooves of the desk. A nostalgic smile touched his lips, remembering Mei, who had sat right beside him. But the warmth of the memory quickly turned to a suffocating ache, stealing his breath. He looked out the window, his gaze sweeping across the darkened field. Then he saw it: a faint movement.
A boy, alone, playing with a football under the dim field lights.
Aki walked onto the field, the soft thud of the football the only sound in the night. The boy, utterly engrossed, dribbled the ball, oblivious to Aki's presence, moving it closer and closer until it nearly touched Aki's foot. Only then did he look up, startled. His eyes widened for a moment, then he quickly composed himself.
'Buddy,' the boy said, a hint of annoyance in his voice, 'if you're gonna sneak up on someone, at least make a sound.'
'Sorry about that,' Aki replied, a small smile playing on his lips.
The boy shrugged and resumed his game.
'Mind if I join?' Aki asked.
"Sure," the boy mumbled, not breaking his rhythm.
Aki stepped in, and soon they were a blur of motion, the ball weaving between them. The boy was surprisingly agile, his movements precise. Eventually, the boy scored the winning goal, and they both collapsed onto the damp grass. Aki, more winded, simply lay back, staring at the stars.
'You're terrific,' Aki puffed. 'Are you in a club or something?'
'Nah,' the boy replied, catching his breath. 'I just don't like losing to strangers.'
'That's quite a reason,' Aki chuckled.
The boy just shrugged again.
'Why are you playing out here so late?'Aki asked, turning his head to look at him.
'No particular reason,' the boy said, then returned the question. 'What about you? What are you doing here?'
'Just had some work to do,' Aki vaguely answered.
'What do you do?' The boy asked.
'Photography.' Aki answered.
'Oh!' the boy's eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. 'So you collect souls?'
Aki blinked. 'What?'
'Aw, you don't know that?' The boy grinned.
It wasn't that Aki hadn't heard the old superstition before, the one about cameras stealing a piece of the subject's soul. But he'd never given it much thought. Now, the words resonated with an unsettling chill. The casual comment coming from this young stranger made him sit up abruptly. He stared at the ground, the playful banter fading, replaced by a sudden, heavy silence.
'What grade are you in?' Aki asked, a genuine smile forming. 'You talk so interestingly.'
The boy, however, didn't return the smile. He got to his feet, brushing dirt from his pants. 'I don't know you, so why the hell should I tell you that?' he retorted.
'Hey! I'm your senior,' Aki quickly countered, 'so I'm not a stranger.'
'What if you're lying?' the boy shot back, his voice rising. 'I don't know you, and don't talk to me anymore.'
Aki was stunned into silence, unable to stop the boy as he turned to leave. But then, Aki's eyes caught sight of the name emblazoned on the back of the boy's jersey.
Mei.
Aki froze.
This Mei turned back for a moment, and Aki saw an uncanny resemblance—a familiar contour in his features, a shadow of someone he knew, yet not quite. The boy, oblivious to the profound shock etched on Aki's face, simply continued on his way.
Aki stood there, speechless, his gaze fixed on the retreating figure of Mei.