In an alternative universe, I think things would have turned out differently; you would have cured me, and my mother would have gotten her wish.
You would have been happier and worshipped by your town, and I wouldn't have felt bad staying by your side.
Especially because we would have had her, and it would have given me something else to live for, a more purposeful reason to make up for what I did.
You both would have been the stars to my midnight sky.
My hands had jagged edges in them, rough like a map being painted upon the very creator creating it. They prove I've done hard work, but in this case, the work was slaughter, mindlessly as my body moved without my approval.
Taking the innocent and guilty, there was no trial for them, and their bodies were never found, but I knew where they were. Their screams haunted my unconscious and plagued me for not controlling my flesh. I was stained with dirty blood, but she saw me differently.
Her smile lit up fireworks in my mind, and her kindness was unwavering, unlike anything I had ever seen except for the kindness of a mother's heart.
She was truly something that made me afraid because I felt as if I would hurt her, that I would tear her to pieces without even realizing it. Which in turn would have broken me, it would have been the last straw to my insanity, and I would have pierced my own heart instantly. I would have took my own life to atone for my actions, even though death would have never be enough to satisfy the disgust I had.
But instead, she managed to get that demon out of me, to purify my blood and even make use of the curse that was bestowed upon me.
I can't thank her enough, and no part of my life will ever be enough to repay what she gave me.
What she's given me now.
"Do you want to hold her, son?"
I blinked back, taking in a few deep breaths, "She's here?"
My mother nodded, "She looks a lot like her papa, all this hair she has."
I cautiously approached, trying to steady my hands as her little face came into view.
"It's okay, son, I'm right here."
"Are you sure it's okay? I mean, I don't want to mess it up."
"It's not hard to hold a child, son, but I see what you mean, don't worry, I'll have my hand on your shoulder. I'm not going anywhere. Now, hold her head and be careful, okay?"
"Okay", she passed her to me and I held still, her little head so small and her hands tiny, she had blue eyes like her mother, and she didn't cry even though I was shaking inside.
"That's it, make sure to hold her head up, you got this." My mother put her hand on my shoulder, and liquid started to hit my eyelids, making her reach out and wipe them before they could fall.
"It's okay, son, you're okay now."
"I know, mama, I just-I just-I-is she alright?" "The baby, yes, she's doing just fine."
I nodded, "Yeah, and Gigi?" "Regina? She's okay, too, just resting."
I turn back to the small baby, her little eyes so big and her hair this loose curly texture with my color, a mini midnight sky with blue diamonds.
"You have a little round face like I did and chubby little fingers, tiny feet, and-" I poked her forehead lightly, "Love, so much love just brewing through you, and I'm going to protect you with my life, you here? No matter what, you will have such a good life."
"Hey, hold her head up, boy, let me", "Wait, wait, let me just-" I kissed her forehead lightly as my mother held her again.
My hands link together, and I watch her from afar, smiling slightly, knowing I'll never have my nails long again. Because I want to be a good father, I want to do better, and I want her to be so much better than me and protect her from all this.
"I know she's a precious little bean, my grandchild. Thank you again, she knows you love her, we all do. Now go check on Regina. This little one is not going anywhere."
I run a hand through my hair. "Okay, and I need to cut this hair of mine off, it's going to get in her face when I hold her."
She swatted her hand, "Noo, don't cut, just tie it up, please, you spent so long growing it."
"I know I just feel like it will be easier," "Then go bald." "No, not that easy now, maybe just to the back of my neck? A small ponytail?"
"No, no", she shook her head, and pointed over to a small room, "Are you going to check on her now, or do I need to give you a little push?"
I flushed a bit, throwing my hands in the air, "No, no, it's fine, I'm going now."
I turned my head to the small room and headed in, biting my lip slightly, where I saw Regina lying on an average-sized cot. A water bucket on the side, and her forehead caked in salty liquid.
I rushed toward her, grabbing a nearby towel, "No, not that one, just used the back of your hand."
"You're up?" "Yeah," "What's wrong with that one?" Her tired eyes faced the floor. "I don't like that one."
I put the towel down and just used my hand, her shoulders softening at my touch, "Took you a second to come back in."
"I got nervous", "Afraid something bad was going to happen?"
I lay my head on her my lap, "Yeah, of course, and worried I would cause it." "I wouldn't let that happen, don't worry, you're safe now, you're safe."
"I know, I was just stuck so long I never thought I would be free again or have a family."
Regina laughed, "Well, it certainly wasn't on my to-do list, but I am happy things turned out this way. After everything we've been through." "I didn't think it would get any better."
She sighed, having that same water in her eyes that I did earlier, "To be honest, I was starting to lose hope as well, but then I figured out what I was missing, and something hit. That's when I knew that we would be okay and it would work out. I kept the faith that so many people wanted me to lose, and I never gave up."